An American Girl Abroad

What to think

2007-10-17T22:14:00.000-05:00

It had been a couple days since the talk between Meg and I. I wasn't sure what I was suppouse to be feeling after that. Part of me felt that I should be understanding and try to be the bigger person. The other part of me, knew that I had been the bigger person way too many times in the past. I knew that I had allowed myself to be stepped on one too many times. I decided that what I could do was be civilized. I could be nice to her when I saw her out and still not have to feign a friendship.

I was happpy to have school and work to concentrate on. And little did I know I would soon have another distraction to keep my mind of everything. I was on my way home when I got a call from Aaron. He wanted me to meet him at my apartment. I figured we were up to our usual for a thursday night, chinese and movies.

When I got to my place I noticed he had already let himself in. I walked in dropped off my bag and called out his name. I saw him walk out of the kitchen and I started walking towards him.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked me.

"To the kitchen to see if you needed any help," I said.

He turned me around and pushed me towards the bathroom. "You have been super stressed since your little run in with Meg, and it stops today," he said as he ushered me into the bathroom.

When I walked in I noticed all the candles in my bathroom lit. They were the only light in the room. The bathtub was filled and almost overflowing with bubble bath. Next to the tub was a celebrity gossip mag and my bathrobe.

"You are going to take a bubble bath and relax. I am making orange chicken and I brought over a season of the 'West Wing'."

Not only was the idea of a bath great, but I had our favorite show to look forward to. He left me in the room and I slowly undressed and made my way into the tub. The water was perfect. I laid my head back, closed my eyes.

I was finally relaxed enough and ready to join Aaron in the living room. As I was walking in I heard him on the phone. "Of course she won't find out.......yeah.....I miss it too."

My heart stopped. Who could he be talking to? I cleared my throat to let him know I was in the room. He quickly said goodbye and turned to face me.

"A! I didn't hear you come out of the bathroom."

Coming Soon

2007-10-16T21:43:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to let everyone know I finally have Internet and work is finally to calm down a little. I have a block of time set aside for wed. to do some writing. Thanks to those who still read it. It's something I write for myself and its nice to know other people have found some entertainment out of it.

Love,
A.

just a little longer

2007-09-24T21:04:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone will be patient just a little longer. I just recently moved and do not have Internet up and running yet. I am at a Starbucks right now..hehe. I hope to have everything up and running by next week. I am so sorry for the lack of posts. With being sick, starting this new job, and moving it has been crazy. By this time next week everything will be back to normal. I am hoping I can get a post up, after work tomorrow but forgive me if I can't make it. I hope everyone keeps reading, and thanks a million for everyone's patience.

Love,
A.

Moving on

2007-09-19T17:24:00.000-05:00

***I just wanted to let everyone know that this past week has been insane. I just started my job, and as a new attorney it is overwhelming. I move to another state on Saturday and have been training this whole week. I wake up, go to work, come home and pack, and finally to bed. I have also had a horrible cold and high fever to top it all off. I wanted to at least post something this week.***

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As Meg and I sat in silence, I couldn't help but let my mind wander. I wasn't sure why she was here, or what she wanted. I figured I had given her many chances, now I would sit and wait for her to make the first move.

"I don't even know where to start," she muttered.

I sat there without saying a word. For the first time I felt angry. I mean I was angry before, but not like this. Before I would be angry, but always felt that I could give her another chance. This time I wasn't to sure.

"I guess the first thing I should do is apologize," I tried to interrupt her to say it wasn't really worth it anymore, but she held her hand up to stop me, so I let her keep going.

"I know an apology isn't worth much , but I figured an explanation is the least that you deserve after all I have put you through."

"I guess an explanation couldn't really make things any worse," I replied.

I sat there in shock as the words came out of Meg's mouth. After what seemed like hours she was finally done with the whole story. I didn't know what to think. What I found out was that back when Pat and I were dating, Meg found out her parents were having issues. These weren't normal issues. Her mom found out her dad was having an affair. Meg was upset and wanted nothing to do with her dad, but her mom decided to look the other way.

Meg was angry and hurt and wanted someone to feel her pain. She did not lash out at her parents because she felt they were feeling enough. Instead she lashed out at me. She slept with Pat and broke my heart instead. She became what she was so busy hating in her own life, she became the other woman. This became a pattern for her. She would feel angry at her parents and take it out on me. Why on me, this I did not understand.

Her mom, still to this day, looks the other way when it comes to her husband's affair. Meg to this day this had not lashed out at her parents.

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I will try to finish this tomorrow. I can barely get out of bed, and I am hoping to feel better soon.

So Sick

2007-09-14T10:22:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone,

Sorry for the lack of posts this week. I am sooo sick. I have been dealing with a cold that seems to get worse and worse. I start work on Monday, so I wanted to really rest up this weekend. I might get around to a post this weekend. For sure there will be a post on Sunday.

Love,
A.

Time to Party

2007-09-10T19:41:00.000-05:00

The last couple of weeks have been crazy. We have spent most of our time with Aaron and his parents. But his dad is up and about and even asking for steak and wine...haha.

Now that things are finally returning to normal, Emma wanted to throw that engagement party for us. Aaron and I were so excited to get some celebrating time in. We hadn't really had a chance to celebrate with friends, so this was something we were definitely looking forward to.

We both got ready at my apartment and headed out. I wanted to make sure I took my time getting ready. I figured there would be lots of picture being taken with various friends, so why not look cute..hehe. I went with a brown strapless dress that had the cutest diamond broach and satin trim at the waist line. It was adorable, and looked amazing with my satin brown heels. Aaron looked good enough to eat. He had on khaki dress pants and a striped button down shirt. I just love him in those button downs.

When we got to Emma's place the place was already packed. We were having so much fun. Emma had taken the time to make picture boards of pictures of both Aaron and I growing up, and as a couple. I was so touched that she had gone through so much trouble. People were making toasts and sharing funny stories. The wine was flowing and everyone seemed to be having a great time.

I was raising my glass of wine when Emma came over to me. She asked if she could talk to me, and I have to admit the tone in her voice kind of made me worry.

"So?," she asked. "Are you guys having a good time A.?"

"The best Emm.", I said leaning in to her to give her a hug. "Thanks so much for doing this."

"I love you, it's my pleasure. But...don't get mad at me okay. But I kinda invited Meg. And, she kinda brought Pat with her," she said and closed her eyes bracing herself for what she assumed would be a horrible reaction on my part.

"It's okay," I said. "I know the problem is between Meg and me. It has nothing to do with you. I won't lie and say I wish she wouldn't be here, but whatever she's here now and I am having to good of a time to let her ruin it for me."

I went back to Aaron and continued to enjoy myself. I saw Meg out of the corner of my eye, but I was determined not to let her ruin it for me. She had ruined enough. Yet, in the back of my mind I couldn't help but want to run up to her and fill her in on everything that had been going on in my life. I wanted to show her my ring and have her squeal in excitement with me. I wanted her to want to help me plan my dream wedding.

I was in the middle of a group of girls, with my hand extended out as they all squealed over my ring and asked how Aaron had proposed, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and came face to face with Meg.

"Can we talk?," she asked.

I wasn't really sure what to do. I looked over to where Aaron was and noticed him looking at me. He was ready to head over to me, but I held up my hand to him to stop him. I nodded my head and excused myself from the group. Meg and I walked in silence until we reached Emma's bedroom.

Life is unpredictable

2007-09-08T21:00:00.001-05:00

There I was in my own little world. Enjoying walking hand in hand with the man I loved. Knowing that we were going to start our lives together and that we had the blessing of our families. Everything was perfect. Everything was perfect until we saw an ambulance fly by. We turned to see where it was going and noticed it stopped at the restaurant we had just left. Both our parents were still there, and of course sometimes you can't help but think the worst.

Aaron squeezed my hand, and said, "I'm sure everything is fine."

Just as I was about to tell him he was probably right, my cell phone rang. It was mom. She was frantic. She told us to come back to the restaurant. Aaron's dad had had a heart attack and was being rushed to the ER. I told her we were heading right back, closed my cell phone, and with tears in my eyes I looked up at Aaron.

"I'm so sorry," I said to him. "We have to go back to the restaurant. Your dad....your dad he had a heart attack," I managed to choke out.

I saw a look of utter horror in his eyes. We turned and started running back to the restaurant. When we reached it, they were taking his dad in a stretcher and heading for the ambulance. My mom had her arms around Aaron's mom. Aaron ran up to his mom and enveloped her in a hug.

They had to get to the hospital and only one person could ride with him. Aaron's mom was not in the best state, so he got in the ambulance with his dad. Right before he climbed in, he leaned in kissed me, and whispered, "I love you. Please take care of my mom."

After the ambulance left, my parents, Aaron's mom, and myself headed to the hospital. I sat in the back with her and she held my hand the entire ride.

"A. He is so lucky to have you. My son could not have picked a better woman to have in his life," she said in between sobs.

We got to the hospital and it seemed that no one knew where his dad was. It took us almost 20 minutes to find someone who could point us in the right direction. Finally we were making our way through a long corridor to where we would be made to sit and wait.

After what seemed like hours, Aaron emerged from behind doors. He had tears in his eyes, and I thought the worst.

"He's going to be okay. The doctor said it was just a mild heart attack."

He walked towards his mom and she fell apart in his arms. Sobbing and thanking God at the same time. Once Aaron took her back to the room they had his dad in, he came back out and looked like he had aged 10 years. He looked tired and worn out.

I stood up as I saw him walk out and he immediately walked towards me. He put his arms around me, leaned his head on my shoulder and cried. I had never seen him cry, but I was glad he was crying out of relief and not out of grief.

My parents left about an hour later, and Aaron and I stayed behind. His mom spent the night in the room with his dad, and we slept in the waiting room. Aaron wanted to be there when his dad woke up. The next morning, we were woken up by a nurse telling us we could go in and see him. At hearing that, Aaron tensed up.

"What's wrong?," I asked him.

"I know I was with him yesterday. But last night that was the adrenalin getting me through it. I am afraid to see him A. He looked so weak. My dad is a big strong man. Seeing him like this makes me realize he could leave me at any minute."

I grabbed his hand in mine, and said, "It is because we don't know what could happen from one minute to the next that we need to treasure the minutes we do get."

He stood up, grabbed my hand and headed for the room. His dad was awake and ready for company by the time we walked in. He was full of jokes. Complaining he needed real food not jello, and saying the hospital gown was just not his color.

We spent the rest of the day in the hospital with his dad. We even ate the jello with him and towards the end of the evening we were all through thinking about the tragedy that could have been, but instead grateful for what we still had.

So sorry

2007-09-06T22:27:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone,

I am so sorry for the lack of post this past week. Thing here have been CRAZY. I will hopefully have time to write tomorrow, since I have so much to catch everyone up on.

I have to share my news with everyone because I am super excited. I got my first attorney job!!! I have been busy working out the details and making plans to move across the state in about two weeks.

I will be back tomorrow if not saturday for sure with a couple of posts. I just wanted to share my news with everyone so you guys would know why I have been MIA.

Love,
A.

Spreading the News

2007-09-02T19:58:00.000-05:00

Dinner with the parents was great. We had agreed on Saturday night for dinner, and our parents were meeting us at the restaurant. When we arrived both our parents were already there. Did I mention, this was the first time they were actually meeting? Well, yeah, I was a little nervous to say the least.

Much to my amusement, our parents where chatting away like old friends by the time we arrived. They had both apparently gotten there super early and ran into each other at the bar. Aaron's mom actually went up to my mom to ask her if they were my parents, apparently my mom and I look identical. Anyways, once they introduced themselves and they started chatting both dads found a common love of bourbon. By the time we got there they had a couple drinks in them and happy as can be.

We hugged everyone, chatted a bit, and soon we were ordering. Half way through the meal I felt Aaron's hand on my leg. He gave me a look that said, "I think it's time to tell them." I took the lead and cleared my throat before I began to talk. I had kept my hand concealed most of the night so they hadn't seen the ring. Or perhaps, they had and were waiting for us to say something (which I think is the more likely one).

"Mom, dad, 'Aaron's parents'. We have something we want to tell you guys. We...," before I could get anything else out Aaron grabbed my hand raised it up from under the table and with a huge grin on his blurted out, "I asked her to marry me and she said 'yes'".

The mom's started to tear up. My mom immediately got up and came over to me to hug me and whimpered something about her little girl growing up. My dad shook Aaron's hand and then pulled him into a hug. His mom came over and hugged me so tight I thought I would stop breathing, and his dad enveloped me along with his mom into a hug.

When everyone finally returned to their seats, Aaron's dad called the waiter over and ordered champagne for everyone in the restaurant. He stood up and proudly declared, "My son is getting married!" My dad not wanting to feel left out, also stood out and yelled out, "To my daughter!" The restaurant exploded into laughter and applause, and I could feel my face growing hot.

The rest of dinner went by without any cheering or buying rounds of drinks for the restaurant. The mom's were full of questions. When? Where? Colors? Church? I laughed because we had not had enough time to discuss all these things, but we did tell them that we were waiting until we graduated and took the bar exam. Our parents were so proud at that moment they were beaming.

We finished dinner had more wine to celebrate and finally said goodnight to our parents. We went home, walking hand in hand. I was completely content with my life. I let out a sigh of relief and for a moment everything felt perfect. Too bad the moment was short lived.

I feel different

2007-08-30T23:52:00.000-05:00

I woke up the next morning still in Aaron's arms. I couldn't help but smile as I lay there staring at him. He eventually woke up and gave me an odd look.

"What are you doing?", he asked.

"Looking at you," I said.

"I realize that, it's kinda scaring me A.," he said with a chuckle.

I threw my pillow at him and stuck my tongue out. We eventually made it out of bed and ordered room service for breakfast. It was delicious. He must have really worn me out last night, because I was starving this morning. While we were eating we started talking about our wedding. We decided that we should probably tell our parents soon, and we also decided that we were going to wait until May of 2008. I know its a long engagement, but we both still have this last year of law school. Plus we will both have to study for the bar exam after graduation and find jobs. This way it gave us something to look forward too, planning our wedding after the bar.

After breakfast I was giddy after all the wedding talk. We both had no classes today, so we decided to take the rest of the day to just spend time together. I couldn't help but look down at my hand every couple minutes and smile at the thought that I would be his wife soon.

We decided to head to the video store to pick up a couple movies for that evening. We were browsing and had a couple movies in hand already, when we heard Emma's voice. We both turned around and saw her making a bee line straight for us.

We did the normal chit chat and as I was promising to call her to set up dinner she saw my ring. She grabbed my hand and yanked it towards her. "Oh my God!," she exclaimed. "You guys are getting married?!?!," she yelled out and pulled me towards her for a hug.

"Sorry, I didn't mention it," I sheepishly said. "We were waiting to tell our parents first."

"Oh my God! I am soooo happy for you guys. As soon as you guys tell your parents you have to let me throw you an engagement party."

"Em, that would be amazing and so sweet," I said. And Aaron agreed.

She finally let go of me, and we said bye and promised to do dinner next week. Everything had been so hectic lately that I had not seen her in forever. We rented our movies and headed to his apartment. We ordered Chinese and opened up a bottle of wine.

The next day after class we had agreed that we would call our parents and invite them up for dinner this weekend. It would be great to be able tell them both together. So I called my parents and asked them if they could make it up for the weekend. They agreed, but they kept asking me why. I knew they were suspicious of something. Aaron's parents also agreed to come up. We made reservations at our favorite restaurant and sat with anticipation for the weekend to come.

It starts at my toes

2007-08-29T21:13:00.000-05:00

We pulled up in front of one of the nicest hotels downtown. Once again he came around my side of the car and led me out. He had apparently already checked in because we went straight for the elevator.

We had the suite. A gorgeous room decorated all in creams with a huge king sized bed. The room was filled with candles and roses, red and yellow ones. I held my breath when I first entered the room. I was holding Aaron's hand, and at the sight of the room I squeezed his hand tighter.

He swept me up in his arms and kissed me. He slowly walked over to the bed, kissing me slow tender kisses all the way there. He laid me down slowly and leaned over me.

"I love you," he said and I could feel a tear roll down my cheek.

"I love you," I told him.

He leaned down and kissed me. Slow and tender at first, but his kisses grew more hungry with every passing second. He had already taken his coat off, so he pulled on his tie and then started fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. I bit my lip at the sight of this man above me, and reached my hand out to touch his face. All I could see was his face lit by the candles. Once his tie was off and buttons were undone, I pulled his shirt down his arms. I caught my breath again when I saw his perfect body underneath his shirt.

Once his shirt was off and i had a perfect view of his beautiful body, he flipped me over to have me on top of him. I made my way off the bed and stood at the foot of the bed. I reached behind me and pulled the zipper of my dress down. I let it slip off my body and hit the floor. I stepped out my dress and I could feel his eyes on my body.

I pulled him up and began pulling on his belt. I finally managed to unzip his pants and he let them drop. I grabbed his boxer-briefs and pulled them down. I went down with the boxers and began planting tiny kisses on him. I started at his ankels and kissed my way up his thigh. Kissed his waist and up his stomach. I felt him shiver as I moved from thigh to waist.

"You're killing me A.," he groaned.

He pulled me close to him and in one swift motion unhinged my bra. He kissed his way down my neck, down the middle of my chest, and stopped at my belly button pulling my bottoms down. Once we were both standing there completely vulnerable, he pulled me back to the bed and leaned over me once more.

I could feel his body on mine. His body was long and hard against me as he pulled me close, his muscles were tight, and I shivered a little because it was him. I played my fingers over his chest, and heard him suck his breath in. I smiled and began to say something, "You know," but he kissed me and I forgot what I was about to say and just lost myself in the weight and the heat of him. I could feel my breathing quicken as I wrapped myself around him and felt hard muscle press into soft flesh.

I kissed his cheek and then his mouth again, gently, again and again, as I began to move against him, with him. Each time taking him in deeper, rocking slowly so I could feel him inside, giving him all of me. Giving him all of me because it was him, because it was going to be him from now on. I knew that I knew that since the first time I saw him. I knew that this was the beginning.

A thank you

2007-08-28T21:51:00.001-05:00

Thanks so much ladies for all the kind words. This is the first thing I have ever written so it feels amazing to have people read it and actually enjoy it.

Love, A.

Can I have this dance?

2007-08-28T19:56:00.000-05:00

After Aaron picked me up he would not tell me where we were going, nor what the plans were for the evening. The entire drive to wherever we were going he had on a huge smile and one hand on my hand.

When we finally got to where we going I was told to close my eyes. I said I would, but apparently my word was not good enough because he decided he had to blind fold me until we made it inside. Once he had the blind fold on me, he proceeded to kiss from my earlobe down my neck. I had never been blindfolded before, and I have to say that it intensified the sensations I was feeling.

I heard him laugh a deep throaty laugh, and then I heard the car door open and close. Soon he was on my side holding the door open and guiding me out of the car. I was so excited I could barely stand it. I swear I was even trembling a little every time I felt his touch. Once we were inside, he walked behind me and took the blind fold off. We were at one of my favorite restaurants. It's a pasta bar with an extremely romantic atmosphere. Candles everywhere. This time there was something different about it. It was empty. We were the only patrons at the restaurant. This was odd because this place is usually extremely busy.

He must have noticed the confused look on my face, because he felt the need to explain to me why it was we were alone.

"I kinda had the place closed for tonight," he said running a hand through his hair. You see, him and his family are very, very, very well off. So, yes as odd as it sounds he can afford to do something like that.

"Oh Aaron," I said and leaned in for a kiss.

Our kiss was interrupted by a waiter coming up to us to show us to our table. The table was beautiful. Candles everywhere. The only lights in the restaurant seemed to be coming from candles. We were seated and a bottle of white wine was brought over.

We had dinner and finished our wine. After dinner, we were sitting there enjoying another bottle of wine when Aaron stood up and came around the table to me.

He reached out his hand to me and said, "Can I have this dance?"

"Dance?", I asked. "But there's no music playing." As I was saying that a song started playing over the loudspeaker. It was our song. "Can't help falling in love", the version sung by Michael Bubble.

"I would love to dance," I said and let him lead me towards the center of the restaurant.

As we were dancing he began to talk. "A., I thank God everyday that I went to London. I thank God everyday that he allowed me to meet you. But most of all, I thank God for allowing you stay in my life."

"Aaron," was all I could manage. At this point I was all ears. I knew something big was going to happen. Why else would he do all this?

"I am so grateful to have you in my life. I want to go to sleep with you in my arms, and wake up to see your beautiful face. I want to grow old and experience life with you. I want to have children with you and watch them grow with you."

At this point I was crying. The tears were flowing and I could not make out any words. He stopped dancing, pulled apart from me, and got down on one knee. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a blue velvet box. He opened it, held it out to me, and said, "A. would you spend the rest of forever with me?"

I was speechless. He was all I have ever wanted in a man. He was my Mr. Right. The last year and three months had been beyond amazing. And the thought of waking up in his arms every morning brought a smile to my face. I finally got out of my own head, to finally respond.

"Yes, yes...a million times yes," I said. And then I started to laugh. I had just quoted a movie. Leave it to me to quote a movie at a time like this. Thank God he didn't notice.

He took the ring out and slipped on my finger, I went down on my knees and hugged him. In between sobs I managed to kiss him and tell him how much I loved him.

"Aaron, I love you so much! I can't wait to start the rest of my life with you."

We eventually made it out of the restaurant, but not before finishing our dance. When we were back in the car I kept staring at the ring on my hand, he reached for my hand held up to kiss it and said, "I have another surprise for you."

"I don't know what could make this night any better?", I said.

A little note

2007-08-27T22:38:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone reading and leaving comments. I enjoy every single one of them. I love hearing what you guys think. If you every have any questions for me, or want more details as to certain entries feel free to shoot the questions my way.

Love you guys and thanks for reading.

Love,
A.

Life goes on

2007-08-27T22:06:00.000-05:00

Summer had come and gone. September was now here and in full swing. It was the start of my favorite season, fall. Things had been going really well lately. J. and I had been talking and hanging out like old times. I had even met his new girlfriend and she seemed great for him. She might actually be the one for him. J. and Aaron have even been getting a long great.

I was on my way home from class when my cell phone rang. It was Aaron.

"Hey handsome," I said into the phone as a smile appeared on my face.

"Hey sexy," he replied. "Are you home yet?," he asked.

"Just about," I said. We kept chatting until I got home at which point I told him I was finally home.

"There is a box in front of your door. Once you get to it and see what's inside call me back."

I didn't even have a chance to asked him what he was talking about because he hung up. Confused and a little curious, I rushed to my front door and sure enough there was a box with a red bow on it. But that wasn't it. Next to it was a vase with a dozen red roses and a yellow one in the middle. I picked everything up and smiled. I walked into my apartment and set everything down.

Now to see what was in the box. I untied the ribbon and lifted the top of the box off. Inside was a gorgeous red strapless dress. I held it out and admired it. Red satin. It was gorgeoud. There was also a black velvet box. Inside that box was a diamond tennis bracelet. I could not believe my eyes.

I quickly dug around my purse for my cell phone and called Aaron back. "What is all this about?," I asked him.

"Change into the dress, make sure you wear your new bracelet and I will be over there to pick you up in two hours," he said and hung up again.

I was not going to question it. I did what I was told. But I must admit I was getting a little upset by the constant hanging up on me.

I took a nice long shower and made sure my legs were super smooth. I put that killer red dress on, and made sure I had some killer lingerie underneath. I went with a strapless black lacy bra and the matching lacy boy shorts. To finish the look off I pair it with my black stilettos. I knew how much he loved my hair down, so I curled it and left it down.

I was ready to go and a little nervous too. I was sitting there fidgeting when I heard the door. I walked up and opened it, and I could not believe my eyes. Standing before me was Aaron standing with a suit and tie on. He looked good enough to eat. I licked my lips at the sight of him. He had another dozen roses in his hands. He leaned down, wrapped me up in his arms and kissed me deeply and passionately. I really thought my knees were going to buckle. He let go of me, and looked me up and down.

"My God A., you look gorgeous. So, did you like your gifts?," he asked shyly.

"I loved them," I said. "But was is this for?"

"Come on," he led by the hand out of my apartment shutting the door behind us. "I've got plans for us tonight."

Here we go

2007-08-26T21:40:00.000-05:00

My heart stopped when I heard Meg's voice. The thing is, I am horrible with confrontations. When I get really upset I tend to cry, and I think this usually makes me look weak to the other person. The last thing I wanted was for her to think that she could make me cry.

J. must have felt how tense I got, because I felt his hold on my hands become tighter. I smiled at him, hoping he knew it was my way of saying thanks. when I looked up, I finally met eyes with her. She was standing there with a smile on her face. A smile of all things! I wasn't sure how to react to her.

Meg calmly walked up to the table, looked down at us, and said, "It's princess perfect and her little puppy dog."

Her voice was so cold I could barely recognize it. Who was this girl standing before me? How could this be the same girl I have known and called my best friend for years? I was stunned and realized neither J. nor I had said anything to her.

Finally J. stood up, and said, "Just leave Meg, I think you've done enough."

"Let's recap," she said with contempt in her voice. "First, she dates you. Dumps you. Starts sleeping with Aaron two days after you two break up. Flaunts him in front of you. And now she has you defending her honor." She started to laugh and called J. pathetic.

That was it. I've had enough and I was not going to let her talk to J. like this.

"Meg!," I said louder then I was expecting, which caused her to turn and look at me. "That's enough. That's enough of everything. I get it, you have problems with me. You see me as this horrible person, and you've clearly tried to teach me some messed up lessons lately. Congrats, you got Pat, but I had him first. Congrats you wanted J., but he turned you down. Congrats on going out of your way to teach me a lesson. To hurt me for things that I had no control over. Congratulations on ruining a friendship with someone that would be willing to do anything for you. But now, you are just being a vindictive bitch and I am done with this. Sleep with whomever of my exes that you want. If sloppy seconds are your thing, go for it! But leave me, J., and Aaron the hell alone you psychotic bitch,"

I was amazed at myself. I did not cry. I had stayed calm and finally spoken my mind. I grabbed my purse turned and walked away. As I was walking away, I heard J. say, "you crazy bitch!" Soon he was right besides me with his arm around my shoulders.

"You did great A.!", he said with a smile.

"Thanks," I said. "But I don't feel great about any of this." I hated what had just happened. I knew that Meg wasn't a real friend. A real friend would not do what she did to me. i knew that the best thing to do was to move on and be happy for the people who did care about me. I was happy to have J. back in my life, and I knew that things would be better now.

A call and a cup of coffee

2007-08-25T13:13:00.000-05:00

We had been back from our wonderful cabin getaway for a couple days now, and I had been busy with work. It was a Thursday afternoon and I was on my way out of the office for the day. As I was heading out the door I noticed I had several missed calls and a new voicemail. They were all from J. I had not talked to him at all since that awkward meeting at my parents house, and really had no idea why he would be calling me.

I pressed the button to get to my voicemail and punched in my password. "You have one new message. 'A. Hey, it's me J. Well I guess you figured that part out already (uncomfortable laughter). I need to talk to you. Its important. There are some things you need to know. I know your first instinct will be to delete this message and ignore me. Trust me, I know I deserve it. This isn't about me. There are just some things you need to know. Please call me back."

I stared at my phone for a long while contemplating what I should do. He sounded genuine, and we all know me and giving second, third, fourth, or eight chances to people. I called him back and we agreed to meet for coffee.

I made my way over to the coffee shop near my apartment. When I walked in he was already there sitting on one of the couches in the corner. I ordered my drink and make my way over to him. The minute I sat down he started to talk.

"A. I don't even know how to tell you this. Part of me doesn't want to tell you because I don't want to see you hurt. But the smarter part of me knows its the right thing to do."

"Hi to you too J. And what are you talking about? You really are making no sense?"

"A. I know that I have not been the best of friends lately. And I know you were mad that I knew about Aaron. But the truth is I am happy for you. We never worked as anything more then friends and I should have realized that. I love you like a sister and still think of you as the best friend I could have. Which is why I have to tell you this."

"Seriously J. You are drawing this out, just tell me what it is you have to say. But before you do, I want you to know that I am happy to hear you say all this. I've never wanted to loose your friendship. I miss you so much." I stood up and went to sit next to him to give him a hug. Once I was done with my hug I finally realized just what a serious look he had on his face.

He took a long drink from his cup, looked up at me and reached his hands out to me. I let him take my hands in his. I was starting to feel a little afraid as to what he would be saying.

"A.," he said with my hands still in his hands. "When Meg came back from London she came over to my place the day after she had been back. She said she needed to talk. At first I really did think she was trying to be a friend by telling me about Aaron. I wasn't angry at all...because...well, we had ended on a good note and I had realized that you were better for me as a friend then anything else. She did not accept that I was okay with it. She went on and on and on, until I was starting to get mad. She was making me feel like I was an idiot and you were stepping all over me."

I sat there and took it all in. I didn't interrupt. He took another long drink, ran his hand through his hair and continued.

"By the time she left I was mad. That is why I went to your place that day when you first came back home. She kept calling me and talking to me about everything. I thought she was being a friend. It's because of all those phone conversations with her that I was still so angry at you when you saw me Christmas Eve. It was not until I saw you with him, and I realized that I wasn't angry at you. I was happy for you."

"New Year's eve, pretty early in the day, Meg came over. She was so angry when I told her I was going to talk to you and apologize. After she finally calmed down she tried to kiss me. I pushed her away and she apologized profusely. But she tried it again. When I still refused to kiss her, she started acting like her normal self again. She acted like nothing had happened and just started a conversation. It eventually led to her asking me if I had kept in contact with Pat. When I told her I was going to be seeing him that night she invited herself along. It wasn't until I saw her throw herself at him that night did I realize what she was doing. "

I sat there stunned that Meg could be so calculating. I was more confused as to why she would want to do this to me. I had been nothing but a friend to her. I have dropped things and gone to her more times then I can count. I was about to open my mouth to respond to what J. had just told me, when I heard her voice.

Full of Surprises

2007-08-25T00:10:00.001-05:00

As I walked out of the bedroom looking for Aaron I could hear noise coming from the kitchen. I walked in and found the table all set and waiting. There was a vase in the middle of the table with a red rose and a yellow one. He was standing in front of the stove with a spatula in hand.

I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around him. He turned to face me, leaned down to kiss me and whispered, "good morning", as he kissed down my neck.

I walked over to the table and picked up the vase and brought them up to my nose to smell them. "Mmmmm," I said with my eyes closed, "they smell wonderful,"

He walked up behind me and wrapped me up in his arms. "Red is because you're my lover and yellow is because you are my best friend," he said as he had me in his arms.

We eventually got to the wonderful breakfast he had prepared for us. Everything was delicious. The man can cook is all I can say. After breakfast we were going to shower and head into town and go browsing in the little shops.

We were planning on leaving right after breakfast, but as soon as I saw him start to get undressed for his shower I knew I had to have my way with him first. I let him get in the shower, and then I undressed and made my way in. I could tell he was not expecting me when I appeared behind him, but I could also tell he was happy I was in there.

I grabbed the loofah and poured some body wash on it. I slowly began to wash his shoulders. Then his arms. I started as his shoulder and moved my way down his arms. As I was making my way a little further south, he could take it no more and his lips met mine.

His kisses were passionate and hungry for more. His hands were roaming my back and pulling me towards him. He was kissing my neck and nibbling it in between kisses. I could feel his back muscles and I could not take it anymore. As he was running his tongue down my neck, I leaned into him and whispered breathlessly, "Make love to me Aaron,"

He pulled his head away to look me in the eyes and smiled that crooked smile of his. He grabbed my butt and lifted me off the shower floor. With my legs wrapped around his waist and my back against the shower wall I could feel his body in mine.

It's moments like this, when he has me wrapped up completely in him that I realize just how small I feel in his arms. Small in a way that makes me feel safe and protected when I'm his arms. We eventually did make it out of the shower and finally headed into town, both with big smiles plastered on our faces.

We had stopped at an ice cream shop after a couple hours of browsing. We were standing there waiting for our ice cream when a family came in with two little children. The kids looked to be about 3 and 5. As they were excitedly trying to point out what they each wanted, Aaron who was standing behind me with his arms around my waist, leaned in and said, "can you imagine a little one of our own running around like that?".

I could feel a huge smile on my face as I told him that I could. I really could. I could picture spending the rest of my life with this man. Everyday that goes by I smile at the thought of how we met. Of the idea that we had to travel across the ocean to finally meet. I smile at the thought that I might have actually found the one for me.

New Sensations

2007-08-22T11:18:00.001-05:00

When I finally made it home I realized that I really couldn't pack. I had no idea where we were going. What was I suppose to pack, comfy lounging around type of clothes or fancy going out clothes? With this dilemma I called Aaron. He realized he had to tell me in order for me to pack appropriately.

He had actually talked to my dad and gotten the family cabin for the weekend. Since the cabin is at least a five hour drive for us, and only an hour drive for my dad he had gotten my dad to help him with some stuff. My dad had made sure everything was turned on and ready to be used for when we got there. I was ecstatic. Not only was I going to be spending the weekend with the man I love, it was our one year anniversary, and we were going to be in one of my favorite places in the world.

I packed and we headed to bed early that night since we were heading out pretty early the next morning. That next morning was our official anniversary. When I woke up I reached for Aaron, but he was no where to be found. I got up and headed towards the bathroom and realized the shower was running. I undressed and climbed in. He turned to face me when he realized I was in there with him and wrapped his arms around me. The shower was so sweet and tender. We washed each other off and kissed and held each other. Right before he shut the water off, he leaned into my ear and whispered, 'I love you A. i love you more and more each day''.

After our shower we grabbed our bags and headed to the cabin. The five hour drive passed pretty quickly. We played games and sang out loud to some pretty bad music. I had a blast just sitting in the car with him. When we finally got to the cabin we still had plenty of day light. The cabin is on a lake and we don't really have anyone near us. It was great to be in such a secluded place with it just being him and I.

Once we had our stuff inside we decided it would be great to get some swimming in. We both changed and headed out into the lake. We had been in the water for about a half hour when I got an idea in my head. I swam over to him and put my arms around him. I started kissing him and he was kissing me right back. I could feel his hands all over my body. I looked around and was satisfied that there was no one around, so I gave him a naughty little smile.

"What are you thinking?" he asked me with a grin.

"Oh nothing," I said as I reached down with one hand and pulled my bottoms off and held them out in front of him. We were near the dock so I threw them on there.

His grin only got bigger and I could feel the excitement in his body. "Well then he said," as he reached down and tugged on his trunks until they were off too and threw them on the dock as well.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and before I knew it we were making love right there in the lake. I had never done anything like this, and I have to say this new sensation was amazing. It was slow and passionate and our lips did not leave each other the entire time. When our bodies finally reached the point of no return I felt his head on my shoulder and I heard him say my name between groans.

We eventually made it out of the lake only to have him carry me into the cabin and into the bedroom. What happened I was not expecting. He just held me. He wrapped me up in his arms and held me.

The rest of that night was spent making dinner and laying in each other's arms. The following morning I woke up and again he was no where to be found.

"Not ready to make nice"

2007-08-20T21:57:00.000-05:00

January turned to February. March came and April went. Before I knew it was June and summer was in full swing. I had not spoken to Meg since that night in my apartment. She had tried to call me, but I was just not ready yet. With school and work and other friends I had managed to keep myself busy. I would lie if I did not admit that I missed her. There had been so many times when I wanted to pick up the phone and fill her in on stuff, but I could not bring myself to do it yet.

Aaron and I were approaching our one year anniversary and I could not be happier. I knew he had something planned for us and would not fill me in as to what it was. All I knew was that I was suppose to clear the whole weekend for it. I was beyond ecstatic and was also so happy he was planning everything. It's always nice to have things planned for you.

I was out and about the day before we were suppose to leave getting some last minute things...travel shampoo, and stuff of that sort. I was rounding a corner at Target when I almost got run over by a cart. It was Pat. He was the last person I wanted to see right now.

"A.!," he seemed as surprised and as uncomfortable as I did.

"Hey," I said trying to sound as emotionless as possible.

Before I could tell him I was in a hurry he started what I think can only be described as word vomit. You know the feeling. You start talking and things that you really did not want to come out of your mouth do. You seem to not have any control over what comes out. "I'm so sorry for what happened. I know Meg is too. She is going crazy over this. You have to talk to her. I don't know what to do with her anymore. I keep telling her to talk to you, and she says..."

I stopped him mid-sentence when I realized he was talking as if he and Meg had been seeing each other. "Are you guys seeing each other?," I asked not sure if I wanted to hear the answer or not.

"Ummm....well not really seeing each other. She isn't my girlfriend if that is what you ask," he said making it sound like he was noble one here.

"God Pat, leave it to a gentleman to not date your ex's best friend but to sleep with her!"

"It's nothing serious A. It's not like it was with you. It's just sex!", he started to yell at me as I began to walk away.

I turned back to him and said, "I really don't care Pat. You deserve each other, just leave me out of your sick little world." And with that I walked away.

I walked away knowing that I really did care. I was hurt by two people that had meant a lot to me. I still had held hope that Meg really wasn't that callous. I've said it before, but I like to believe that people are inherently good. It takes a lot for someone to loose my friendship. At times I give people more then second chances, but I think even I had reached my breaking point. I knew all I could right now is go on with my life.

As I was walking out to my car, my cell phone rang. It was Meg. I hit the ignore button and headed home to pack.

To care or not to care

2007-08-20T20:50:00.000-05:00

"Meg what is wrong? You are freaking me out. What are you sorry for?," I said to her. I wanted to know what was wrong and at the same time I was afraid of what she might say.

"A. i'm sorry, i'm so sorry," she said as she sobbed. She kept repeating that over and over again. I finally grabbed her shoulders and yelled out her name which appeared to snap her back into reality.

"I didn't mean it, I didn't mean for it to happen again."

"Meg, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Pat!," she yelled. "I slept with him!"

Before Aaron. Before J. There was Pat. Pat had been my boyfriend from my sophomore year of high school to my junior year of college. We had broken up because he had cheated. Meg had told me about the cheating and when I confronted him he admitted it. He would not tell me the name of the girl, but had sworn up and down that she meant nothing and that it was over with him. I could not handle the cheating. I was devastated and I had turned to Meg and J. for comfort.

Meg had gone on to say she had run into Pat at a bar tonight and had ended up going home with him. She also admitted that she had been the other girl. It was her who had revealed the cheating to me, and now I know she knew only because she had been the other girl. I had never questioned how it was she knew. I had always figured that she was only looking out for me. Hearing her tell me all this tonight felt like a knife going through my back. Who was this girl sitting before me? Who was this girl I had called my best friend for so many years?

I did not cry and I did not get mad and yell at her. I simply calmly asked her to leave. When I finally walked into the bedroom Aaron was already asleep. I changed into my PJ's and crawled under the covers.

"Is everything OK babe?." he asked me half-asleep.

"I don't know who she is anymore Aaron. I don't know who she is," I said to him as tears started flowing. I cried silently as he held me and I eventually fell asleep.

A New Year

2007-08-19T18:48:00.000-05:00

The rest of the trip out to see my parents went by pretty smoothly. No more uncomfortable confrontations. We made our trip back and I left knowing that my parents were absolutely in love with Aaron.

I was having a party at my apartment for new year's and we had been busy planning and getting everything together for it.

We had all decided that it would be fun to dress up and make it a fancy party..haha. I was super excited for Aaron to see me in the dress I had bought for the party. I had decided to go all out and got a new dress and new shoes. The dress was hot if I do say so myself. It was a a black tea length dress with a down to there neckline. I was also trying to handle this ridiculous pair of black stilettos. In other words, I wanted to make him spend the entire night wanting me. I know, sounds evil. But I would so make it worth it to him at the end of the night.

Everything was ready. I had gone all out with appetizers and had been working all day preparing everything. It was so rewarding to sit back and see everything had panned out. Aaron was in the shower while I was getting ready. I made sure I was all dolled up before he got out of the shower.

I was in the living room with a glass of wine waiting for him and for people to start arriving. When he walked into the living room, I was the one doing the drooling. He looked amazing. He had on a pair of grey dress pants and a baby blue button down dress shirt. His blue eyes looked bluer then ever. As he walked towards me I caught a whiff of his cologne and I wanted him more then ever at that moment.

I stood up to give him a hug, when he stopped me. He was looking me up and down and had this smile on his face.

"My God, you look beyond beautiful. Can't we just call the whole thing off and I can take you back to the bedroom?", he asked with a little smirk on his face.

"Aaron!", I said to him. Pretending to be offended.

"I'm sorry. What was I thinking. I can take you right here, we don't need no stinking bedroom."

I walked up to him and gave him a kiss. Just as we were getting into our kisses there was a knock on the door. I leaned into him and whispered, "I'm so taking you later."

I eventually made it to the door and soon the apartment was full of people. The wine and beer was flowing and soon the shots began. Everyone was having a blast. The music was going and there was even people dancing.

Once it neared midnight I wanted to make sure I was right next to Aaron. As soon as I walked up to him he wrapped his arms around me. The room seemed to have gotten louder the closer we got to midnight.

"10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1....Happy New Year," everyone yelled.

Aaron enveloped me in a hug and I got lost in one of his amazing kisses. He still makes my knees buckle. After that kiss I could not wait to get him alone. The party continued and eventually the last of the people left around 3am.

I was closing the door as the last person left and making my way towards the hallway. When I reached the hallway, Aaron pushed me against the wall and kissed me another one of his kisses. I was lost in his kisses. He was now trailing my neck with kisses, while he reached down my body with his hand. He reached down and grabbed both my legs and wrapped them around him. He was reaching for his belt when there was a knock on the door.

"Ignore it," he whispered breathlessly into my ear. I was not going to complain so I did as I was told and ignored it. He had finally managed to unzip his pants and had moved my panties out of the way when the knocking on the door began again. This time it was accompanied by what I recognized as Meg yelling, "A.! I need to come in".

I could hear tears in her voice and knew I had to go let her in. Aaron groaned against my ear and set me back down. I fixed myself and told him to go wait in the bedroom and I would try and go see what was going on.

I ran towards the door and opened the door. As I flung the door open Meg stood there sobbing.

"I'm so sorry A.," she said. She kept saying that over and over again. I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Meg, what's going on? Why are you sorry?," I asked.

A Frosty Reception

2007-08-17T12:17:00.000-05:00

Christmas time had come. Aaron and I were planning on heading to my parents house for Christmas and then back to the cities for New Year's. I was excited, yet nervous about him meeting my parents. I knew my parents would love him, but I still couldn't help but be a little nervous.

We got to my parents house on Christmas Eve. As were were pulling into the driveway my heart stopped. Among the many cars parked in the driveway I saw J.'s car. It had never crossed my mind that he would be there.

J. and I had known each other forever. Our parents were friends and his parents were usually included in the group of people that would come over to my parent's House for Christmas Eve. When Aaron put the car in park, I grabbed his hand and turned towards him.

"Aaron, J. is here. J. and his parents are here," I said to him.

"J. as in your ex J.?", he asked with a not-so-happy tone to his voice.

"Yeah. I completely forgot that him and his parents are always here for my parent's party. I haven't really talked to him lately so I had no idea. I guess I just assumed he wouldn't be here this year."

I told him it would be fine and we grabbed our bags and headed inside. As I was telling him that everything would be fine, I was secretly hoping everything would indeed be fine.

When we walked in my mom ran towards us and enveloped me in a hug. She turned to Aaron and with a big smile on her face said, "And you must be that wonderful young man that has my daughter smiling ear to ear." She hugged him and led us into the living room to introduce him to the rest of the family and friends.

When we walked in the first person I saw was J. He was talking to some people when he saw us walk in. He stopped mid-word. It's funny because as soon as Aaron saw him he seemed to be standing a little taller all of a sudden. Aaron isn't the possessive type, but as soon as he met eyes with J. he put his arm around me and pulled me towards him. It felt good to know he was letting J. know I was his.

We made the rounds with family and friends and everyone seemed to be loving Aaron. He is so good in social situations that it still amazes me. He can talk to anyone about anything. As he was talking to my dad about how he loved the fact that I was such a HUGE football fan, I made my way over to J. He had been standing in a corner with a scowl on his face.

"Hey," I said to him.

"So I see you brought pretty boy over to meet the family," he said with sarcasm in his voice.

"J., this is important to me. Him meeting my family its a big deal. I thought we had gotten over everything. I thought we were going to try and be normal and happy for each other."

I never understood why J. seemed so bothered with Aaron. When J. and I dated it wasn't for very long. He never really treated me as a girlfriend when we were dating, he still treated me as his buddy and nothing more. I knew from friends that the moment I left for London he was back out flirting and picking up girls again. I never really seemed to matter to him as nothing more then a friend. That is until now. Now he seems interested and now he seems hurt by my moving on and being happy.

I told him I didn't want to make a scene and I didn't want things to be awkward. I told him it was nice to see him and and his parents and I hope they have a good Christmas. I excused myself and made my way back to Aaron.

When I reached him, I wrapped my arms around him and joined in the conversation. I enjoyed the rest of the evening, even with the evil looks I was getting from J. and his mother. As I was helping my mom bring out some more food from the kitchen she looked at me and said, "A. he seems wonderful honey. The way he looks at you lets me know he loves you. The smile he gets on his face when you come near him. And the look on your face when you are near him. I am so happy for you honey."

It's was all I needed to hear. After that I did not give J. a second thought. I had fun. Aaron had fun. Meeting my parents went pretty good. The more I see him interact with my family the more I can see myself having him around for every Christmas for the rest of my life.

Hard work deserves a reward

2007-08-16T11:07:00.000-05:00

Aaron and I had been working like crazy these past two weeks. After we came back from Thanksgiving break it was time to prepare for finals. We both had some pretty hard courses this semester, and we knew we had to put all we had into our studies.

It was now 4 o'clock on Thursday and we both had just taken our last final of the semester. I wanted to do something nice for Aaron since he had been spending so many nights in the law library lately. I told him I was going to head home and shower and that he should come over around 8ish.

I raced home and started working on things. I bought all his favorite food and was planning on making him dinner followed by dessert and then a little something special. I was able to get dinner in the oven and had the dessert all done in no time. I jumped in the shower and got myself ready. I had a pair of jeans that every time I wore them, they drove him wild. I threw those on and paired them with a v-neck sweater.

I finished up dinner and was setting the table when there was a knock on the door. As soon as I opened it I saw him standing there. Its been six months and I still get weak in the knees when I look at him. I wasn't even able to get a 'hello' out because he had me in his arms kissing me those makes-my-knees-buckle kisses of his.

He finally let go of me and we walked into the kitchen. We sat down and enjoyed dinner. Everything was going perfect. He was so impressed by everything and touched that I had put all his favorite foods in the meal. After dinner we moved over to the couch and had a slice of cherry pie while we watched a little TV.

I told him to sit and watch a little TV while I went to take care of something. I went into my bathroom, and thanked God I had a huge bathtub. I put candles all over the bathroom and filled the bathtub with bubble bath and hot water. On my way out I turned off the lights. The room was lit only by candlelight.

I headed to my room and pulled out a bag from Victoria's Secret I had been hiding in my closet. I pulled out the contents and smiled to myself. Inside was a satin white camisole and matching boy shorts. I changed into them and walked out of my room. As I walked towards my living room I was hitting every light on my way. When I reached the living room the only light available was from the TV.

As I stood in front of him I could see his jaw drop. "Oh my God you look gorgeous A.", he said as he reached for me. I took a step back. I reached for his hand and led him towards the bathroom.

When I finally opened the door and he was able to look inside, I was fluttering with nerves. He still makes me nervous. The thought of what's to come still makes my heart skip a beat and my stomach turn to butterflies.

I turned to him and stood on my tip toes to give him little kisses all along his jaw line. I could feel his hands wandering my body, and I shivered. I lowered my attention to his shirt and slowly started unbuttoning it, one by one. As I reached a new button I would plant little kisses on him. When I finally had that shirt off I pulled on his under shirt and he helped me pull it over his head.

I started at his lips and kissed my way down his chest. I reached and pulled on his belt and unbuttoned his jeans. Once I had those off I just stood and admired his body. At 6'2'', broad shouldered, and muscular arms he still makes me drool at just the sight of him. I led him towards the bathtub and he slipped out of his boxers.

Once he was sitting, I reached and undid my bra and slipped out of my bottoms. I slid in with him and turned to face him. I had my legs wrapped around him. His hands were roaming my body and I was enjoying it every bit of it.

We stayed in the bathtub for at least an hour. He got out and put a towel around his waist. He then grabbed another towel wrapped it around me and picked me up in his arms. He carried me over to the bedroom and laid me down. We made love the rest of the night. I laid in his arms the rest of the night. I was in heaven for the rest of the night.

The trip

2007-08-15T21:06:00.000-05:00

Time started to fly by as my second year arrived. With the issues with Meg and the new relationship with Aaron my time had been filling up fast. Not to mention a new job as a law clerk and a full time class load.

Before I knew it November had come and it was time for Thanksgiving break. A couple days before Thanksgiving Aaron and I were laying on my couch watching a movie with a bowl of popcorn, when he suddenly said, "you should come home with me for Thanksgiving."

We had been dating for almost 6 months and things had been going better then I could have imagined. I had met his friends and he had met mine. But we had not met each other's parents yet. I knew it would be inevitable, and I knew that both our parents had been asking us about it.

When I heard him say it my heart skipped a beat. "You want me to come home with you for thanksgiving? really?," I stuttered as I turned to face him.

"I really do. I want my parents to meet you. I want them to meet the woman that makes me smile everyday and every night," he said with a little naughty smile. "Well, they don't need to know about the every night part."

"I really do want to meet your parents. But I have to tell you, I am scared to death of meeting them. What if they hate me?"

"A. They know how much I love you, they could never hate you," he said and leaned in and kissed me.

The next thing I knew the popcorn bowl was on the floor and he was over me unbuttoning my shirt with one hand. I had just gotten his shirt off and was reaching for his belt, when his cell phone rang. He swore, and then said he had to get it since it was probably his parents calling to confirm plans for Thanksgiving. I let go of him and let him sit up, but not without giving him a pouty look.

He confirmed plans with his parents, who were apparently thrilled that they would get to meet me, and I had to call and let my parents know I wouldn't be home for Thanksgiving. They made me promise to try and bring him home for Christmas to meet them.

We made plans to leave the next day to his parents house, since the drive was an 8 hour one we wanted to get a head start. I packed the nicest things I could find. I wanted to make a good impression on his parents.

The ride to his parents house was great. We stopped for coffee on our way out of town and picked up some caffeine for the ride. It is amazing how we spend every single day together and still did not have a quiet moment for the whole 8 hours.

As he pulled into the drive way I saw there were at least four cars already there. He must have seen the look of panic in my eyes because he reached for my hand and said, "one is my dad's truck, one is my mom's car, and the other two are my sisters. Honey, you are going to make them fall in love with you."

He turned the car off, walked around and opened my door for me. As he was reaching into the backseat for our bags I saw his mom coming out to greet us. She ran up and hugged her little boy and then turned to me with a huge smile on her face.

"Mom, I would like you to meet A." I reached my hand out to her, but she grabbed me and pulled me into a hug.

"I am so happy to meet you!", she said as she hugged me.

We all headed into the house and the rest of the introductions were made. Afterwards Aaron led us to where we would be sleeping. I was surprised his parents were willing to have us share a room, and we got the guest room to ourselves.

The next day we woke up and got ready and headed downstairs to help out his parents with starting the preparations for dinner. What Aaron had neglected to tell me was that his entire family would be there that night. They were expecting about 15 people over.

The evening could not have gone any better. I was getting along with everyone and everyone was being so wonderful to me. They were hilarious and so easy to get along with. Just as I thought the night could not get any better Aaron's older sister, Bree, pulled me aside.

"I just wanted to tell you A. that you make my brother so happy, and just from these last two days I can see why. Also, just a heads up...we are initiating you into the family tomorrow and taking you shopping."

I was so touched by what she said and even more touched by the invitation to go shopping. Aaron had explained to me that it was a tradition for his mom and two sisters to do the day after thanksgiving shopping ever year. He had also mentioned that no one else had ever been invited to go with them. So, I knew this was a big deal and I was super excited.

Shopping the next day was a blast! We got such great deals and I was able to get some help and pick out some really great stuff for Aaron's Christmas presents. We all had lunch and then I was forced to tell them how we met and about our first date and all about London. After every story there would be a collective, "awww." As we were driving back to their home I felt so at home with them.

We left the next day early and headed back to the city. I told him how much fun I had with his family and how at home I felt. I also warned him and Christmas he would be coming home with him!!!

A little note

2007-08-13T08:58:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone,

I tried to post a couple entries over the weekend and this morning. Now I am off to my cabin for the next two days and will be back Wednesday. Expect a double post then. Just wanted to give everyone a heads up as to why no post for tomorrow.

Thanks so much again for reading.

Love,
A.

Getting over it

2007-08-13T08:40:00.000-05:00

The first couple weeks of classes went by pretty uneventful. There was lots of reading, lots of time to catch up with friends, and time to start looking for a legal job. The weekends had also allowed Aaron and I spend lots of quality time together.

It was a Sunday evening and we were doing what had become routine. Since we both had class together Monday morning he would usually spend Sunday night at my place. We would make dinner and then either put a movie in or play board games. We had just finished cleaning up from dinner and were sitting on the living room floor setting up monopoly when there was a knock on my door. I wasn't expecting anyone so I was a little surprised. As I finished setting the game up, Aaron got up and got the door. It was Meg.

He walked back into the living room and just as I was about to ask him who it was I saw her. He muttered something about having to do some reading for tomorrow and went into my bedroom. I sat there looking up at her not really knowing what to say.

"Hey," was what she managed to get out while looking at me.

"Hey," I said as I got off the floor and walked towards her. I motioned for her to have a seat and asked her if she wanted anything to drink. As I was walking towards the kitchen I realized how awkward this was. This was Meg, she usually barged in and helped herself to anything she wanted. I've never had to treat her like a guest in my home until now.

I walked back into the living room with a drink in my hand and handed it over to her. I sat across from her as we both sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. Finally I had to break the silence, "So am I really going to have to do a little dance to entertain you or will you stop acting like a guest and start acting like my best friend?"

She laughed and I could see tears start running down her face. "A. I'm so sorry," she said as she sat next to me and gave me a hug. "I don't know what got into me. The truth was I was jealous. When it comes to guys things come so easily to you. You can captivate their attention and I am left sitting in the corner waiting for someone to notice me. I guess I wanted him to notice me and not you. " I tried to say something, but she asked me to please let her finish. "I know you would never do anything to hurt me. I know that you're not a mind reader and that I never told you I was interested in him. I know that saying 'I think he's cute' does not mean I was going for him. I know how wrong of me it was to tell J. about everything. But the thing I know the most is that I acting like a crazy bitch and I hurt my best friend. I understand if we can't get back to how we were, but I can't bear to loose you as a friend."

After hearing her pour everything out to me, I knew that I did not want to loose her friendship either. We had been friends since college. We had been through so much together. And the one thing about me that perhaps isn't the best quality to have is that I hate to believe that people are not good. It takes a lot for me to give up on someone. I was not going to give up on her.

Riding it out

2007-08-12T21:35:00.000-05:00

My summer was coming to an end and classes were starting next week. Ever since the incident with Meg I have been a little leery as to how my other friends are going to take everything. Between Meg, J., and I we have all our friends in common. I was afraid people would start taking sides in something that there was no need to take sides in.

After about a couple weeks of mopping around my apartment, I decided it was time to get out and hang out with some of my other friends. I decided to give Emma a call. Emma, Megan and I were usually inseparable. I gave her a call and we decided to go buy our books and meet up for lunch as well. It was so nice to sit and chat with her. She already knew what had happened between Meg and I, and I was hoping she could give me a little insight into a situation that had completely blindsided me.

We went to our favorite sushi bar after we had made a stop at school to buy our books for our first semester of our second year. Once we had our drinks in front of us I decided it was time to bring up the subject. I was a little worried as to how to bring it up, and thank God she made it easy for me.

"Ok A.," she said. "I know what happened and I know its killing you. I'm here for you if you need to talk. I just need you to know that."

I was so relieved to hear her say that, and I took that as an okay for me to talk to her about it. "Emm, I have no idea what happened. I didn't know she felt anything for him or was even interested. You know I would never do anything that would hurt her."

"Oh, sweetie of course I know that. What you need to understand is that Meg for some reason got it into her head that it wasn't fair for you to have J. at home and then Aaron in London. I tried to tell her you and J. had broken up. I told her J. was not good for you and that it was good for you to move on. She never even mentioned anything to me about her interest in Aaron."

I had no idea what to think anymore. Meg knew that J. and I had broken up and now I learn that she never even mentioned her interest in Aaron to Emma. I was beyond confused. All I knew was that I needed to give her time and hope that things would eventually calm down and we could talk. I missed her and I knew all I could do was wait.

After lunch Emma and I decided to do a little shopping. It was so great to hear all about her summer and her many boys. There were always lots of guys when it came to Emma.

The next week flew by with spending time with Aaron and classes starting I had no time to dwell on the argument between Meg and I. The third day of classes I finally had a class with her. That day had started out bad, with me spilling coffee all over myself, and had only gotten worse after having her ignore me every time she saw me. I was ready to go home and collapse and forget about the day.

While I was getting my stuff ready to head home I felt Aaron's arms wrap themselves around me. I turned around and wrapped my arms around him.

"I had such a horrible day," I said to him, while I stood on my tip toes and gave him a kiss.

"Well let me take you home and we could celebrate today," he said as he wrapped his arms a little tighter around me.

"Celebrate?", I asked. As I asked I realized that today was our two month anniversary and I smiled. I had forgotten that I had a gift for him in my car. From the look on my face he knew I finally knew what he was talking about.

We headed over to his place, but not before stopping at my place to grab an overnight bag for me. When we got to his place he told me to lay on the couch and watch some TV while he made dinner. Half way through the movie I had put in, I could start to smell the food he was working on. I wandered into the kitchen and he literally pushed right back out. Half an hour later I was being called into his kitchen.

He had the table all set up and had candles on the table. He pulled my chair out and helped me settle in. He poured a glass of wine for me and brought the tray with the food over to the table too. On it was my two favorite foods. Steak and shrimp scampi. I was touched that he always seems to remember my favorites. After dinner we took the bottle of wine and headed to the living room. I sat in his arms we drank our wine.

We eventually headed to his bedroom. We were laying in bed after making love when he suddenly said, "I need to give you a space for you to leave things here."

"Really?," I said and turned my head to face his.

"Yeah, it would make it easier. Besides it would make me smile to see little things that remind me of you around the apartment."

I smiled bigger then I've ever smiled before. I know its only been two months, and it may seem like we are moving way to fast. But everything has always felt so right between us.

Fessing Up

2007-08-11T22:10:00.000-05:00

The phone rang and rang. Meg never picked up so I left a voicemail telling her I was back in the States and to please call me back. I stared at my phone forever, willing it to ring. I did not want to believe J. that Meg would do something like that. She is my best friend and she knew I did not want to deal with J. right now when it came to Aaron.

I knew that I could do nothing for the moment so I decided to do a little unpacking and take a nice long bath. After I got out of the bath, still no call from Meg. I was getting antsy and I wanted to know her side of things. I was a little reluctant to believe J. I tried everything to keep myself busy and eventually I fell asleep reading in bed.

The next morning I checked my phone for any missed calls, and realized I had none. I decided to give Meg a call and see if she was around this time. Once again, the phone just rang and rang and voicemail picked up. I had two more days of leaving voicemails. I had given up all hope and was on my way out to meet Aaron for dinner when there was a knock on my door. It was Meg.

After I let her in, I excused myself and called Aaron to let him know I would be awhile. I had explained to him what had been going on so he understood. I left Meg in the living room. When I walked back in she had a picture frame in her hand.

She held it up to me and said, "Isn't it too soon to be plastering your apartment with pictures of you and Aaron?"

I didn't know what to say. I had no idea why she was so hostile all of a sudden. I grabbed the picture from her and told her that it wasn't too soon. We had been dating for a month. She rolled her eyes at me and reminded me that it was a month in London, not in reality time.

"Meg," I asked. "What exactly is going on here? The last time I talked to you, you were happy and encouraging about Aaron and I. The next thing I know J. knows about it and its from you. And now this!"

She didn't say anything. She just stared at me. Since she wasn't talking I took it upon myself to fill that void. "You have been my best friend for years and we have always been honest with each other. We have always talked everything out. If you don't tell me what is going on I can't do anything to fix it."

"You can't fix it!!" she yelled at me. The look in her eyes actually scared me. "You always have to have your way. If you see it and you want it, you have to get it."

"Meg, what are you talking about?", I was beyond lost at this point.

"Aaron!", she yelled. "In London I told you I thought he was cute. And the next day you are going out to dinner with him. Then we couldn't separate you two if we tried. Now you think you can continue your fairy tale back home. "

I could not believe what I was hearing. This is about a guy. A guy that apparently she wanted and I had now. "First of all, when we were in London you said you thought he was cute. That's all. You also said that about four other guys on the program. You spent all your time with The Guy. How the hell was I suppose to know that you wanted Aaron. Or that you were interested in him. I didn't try to take anything from you. From the very first time I went to dinner with him you encouraged me. You told me how right we seemed for each other. When we went to Paris you told me to slept with The Guy. You two were together most of the trip too. I would never let a guy come between us. If I knew you were interested I would have backed away. You are my best friend and you would come first."

I was beyond mortified at the conversation. My best friend would not act like this.

"Fine", she yelled back as she started to turn towards the door. "You have him. And you two are perfect. And you're perfect. And yes I told J. Why should you have everything be perfect in your life. Learn to deal with a little drama," she said as she walked out and slammed the door behind her.

I stood there staring at the spot where my best friend had just been. Staring at the spot where she had changed before my eyes. I felt the tears run down my face and I did the only thing I could think of. I called Aaron and told him what had happened. He told me to just stay there and he would be right over.

A little note to everyone

2007-08-10T22:00:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone,

I'm sorry I've had no chance to post. My parents were in town and we have been busy showing them around and keeping them occupied, then we have a wedding to go to tomorrow. Things just got hectic all of a sudden. I will most definitely have a double or maybe triple post for everyone on Sunday.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend and see you all on Sunday.

Again, thanks million times for all comments.

Love,
A.

A Surprise Visitor

2007-08-08T18:33:00.000-05:00

I heard a knock on the door. "Who could it possibly be? I literally just got home," I said to myself. I heard the knock again. Whoever it was they were being very impatient. I reached the door and looked through the peephole. I could not believe who was standing on the other side.

I opened the door and there stood J. I stared at him in disbelieve as to what the hell he was doing here. He had moved erything out before I came home and had left the key in the apartment office for me.

"J. what are you doing here?" I was about to ask, but he beat me to it.

"Where were you? You were suppose to come home three days ago!!" he yelled at me.

"Well hello to you too, and yes I did have a good flight thanks for asking and no I don't mind you just barging in like this," I said to him my voice dripped with sarcasm and big smile on my face.

"A! I'm serious, where the hell were you?"

"J. I stayed a couple extra days and went up to Nottingham. But since when do I have to check in with you?" I asked as I could feel the anger start to bubble up.

Who did he think he was. He was my friend yes. But he had no right to barge in like this and yell at me asking me where I was. He started pacing back and forth in the hallway of my apartment. I was in no mood to invite him in. I had jet lag and all I wanted was my big bed with my big comforter to sink into. I could not believe he was actually standing here lecturing me.

"A. You should have told me. I was worried. I'm just happy you're home", he said as he walked into my living room. "So TV and dinner?" he asked as he plopped himself onto the couch.

"No!", I said to him. "You can go home and do TV and dinner. I need to get some sleep. And just so you know, I do not have to check in with you. I don't have to tell you when I am coming and going. I am an adult J. Thank you for the concern, but you don't need to come here and lecture me."

"You obviously are expecting Aaron over if you want me to leave," he said with a smirk on his face.

How the hell did he know about Aaron. We never actually talked about him. I didn't find it appropriate to be talking to him about Aaron since we had just broken up technically. He must have seen the look of confusion on my face.

"Meg told me you would probably be coming home with him."

I was furious that Meg would take the time to call him or see him or have any reason to have to talk to J. She knew I had not told J. anything yet, that I wanted to but I would when the time was right. Now here I was forced to talk to him about it when I was not ready. I had been awake for a full 24 hours, the last thing I wanted to deal with was this.

"J. I will talk to you tomorrow or the next day. Once I get caught up on sleep and once I talk to Meg. Right now you need to leave," I said and walked towards the door holding it open for him.

He stood up and walked towards me. As he was walking out he actually had the nerve to try to kiss me goodbye. I turned my head as he leaned in and took a step back. "J. No. You need to leave."

He left and I was left there fuming. I walked towards my bag and dug my cellphone out. I turned it on, dialed the number and waited.

Saying goodbye or not

2007-08-08T11:04:00.001-05:00

It has been one amazing month! I have met so many people and made friends that will stay with me forever. I have experienced things that I never thought I would. The most amazing thing that I will take with me is the fact that I allowed myself to fall in love. I can't imagine this trip without Aaron. We've had so much fun together that we were not ready to leave.

Because we were not ready to leave yet and face our lives back in the states yet, we decided to extend our trip by three days. We booked a train north to Nottingham and reserved a room in a tiny hotel in the area.

We were all packed and ready to go. Everyone had cleaned out their rooms and the hallway was filled with suitcases.

I walked into Megs room to see if she needed any help. As I helped her clean out her room we sat and just chatted.

"You really do like him don't you A.?" she asked me.

"Oh Meg, I fell hard for him. I don't even know where it came from. Go figure, me Ms. uber guarded would finally just fall," I said to her with a smile.

"I'm happy for you I really am. When we you guys get back to the states and we are all over the jet lag we should all get together."

"I would love that. You know that it means a lot to me that you like him. You're my best friend and if you didn't like him it would be torture," I said to her, hoping she would respond that she did like him.

"A., he makes you smile. Besides he takes away some of your anal retentive tendencies, "she said while sticking her tongue out at me.

I helped her pack up what was left of her room and headed back to mine to drag my suitcase out. When we were all ready we all said our goodbyes. Some of these people I would see back home, and some were going home to different states. Most of us shared a couple cabs to the train station.

Aaron and I took a train up to Nottingham, and the rest of the group continued on to the airport. The train ride was a good time to just sit and relax. We got lucky and had no one in our compartment. I pulled out a book and he pulled out a magazine. We sat there quietly reading. He had one arm around me and the other hand on his magazine. It feels right when you can sit with the person in total silence and not feel the need to fill that silence.

When we finally arrived we had to find our hotel. I thought we were staying in a hotel or hostel type of place, but since I had not been the one that booked it I really had no idea what we were looking for.

Nottingham is known as Robin Hood country and is known for the history it possess. Once we finally did make it to where we would be staying I was speechless. It was a cabin right on a lake. It was a resort type location and with individual log cabins that could be rented out. Aaron must have seen my jaw hit the floor because he started to laugh.

"So I guess I should explain all this huh?" he said with a little chuckle. "See, I figured that tomorrow is the one month anniversary of our first date...and I figured it would be nice to spend it in an extra special way."

He seemed so nervous to be explaining everything I couldn't help but giggle. I set my bag down and threw my arms around his neck. "Aaron, you are amazing. I love this!!", I said and gave him a big kiss.

We finally went inside and I could not believe my eyes. There was a huge fireplace with a brown overstuffed couch in front of it. We had a little kitchen to the right and a door that led to the bedroom and one to the bathroom on the left. I was like a kid. I ran into the kitchen and opened up every drawer, fridge, and even the oven. I then made my way to the bedroom and saw a huge bed and another fireplace in the bedroom. The bathroom had a huge bathtub, actually a hot tub but I did not realize it at the time.

He was finally able to get me out of the cabin and we headed out to check out Nottingham Castle. On our walk there we stopped at a little pub and had lunch. We took a cave tour and looked around in the museum. We made our way back to the cabin. On our way back we stopped and picked up stuff to cook for dinner and to have for breakfast the next morning.

We spent the rest of that day and the entire next day in the cabin. Well, I'm not going to lie, we spent the entire time in bed, on the couch, and even the floor..hehe. I can't complain. I had a gorgeous man and I kept him pretty much naked for a whole day and half..hehe.

We unfortunately had to pack up and take a train back to London to catch our flight. Our flight was horrible. 24 hours on a plane and in airports. By the time we had made it back to the States we had been awake for a full 24 hours. Once back, we had to say good bye to each other. We shared a cab and I went home and he want to his apartment. We made plans to see each other tomorrow.

I walked into my apartment and just dropped all bags. I was not looking forward to spending the night alone. I was about to finally accept that fact, when I heard a knock on the door.

Computer going crazy

2007-08-07T11:17:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to let everyone know that my computer has been acting a little funny between last night and today. I tried to post this one early in case my computer decided to die on me. In case you don't hear from me tomorrow, assume that my computer died. I am hoping to have a new one in a day or so. I will try to post tomorrow from a different computer, but just in case I wanted to give everyone a head's up.

Thanks again for everyone that has left comments. I appreciate every single one!

Hopefully within three or four posts I can catch everyone up on what's happened since I left London.

Love,
A.

Explanations

2007-08-07T10:45:00.000-05:00

Since the time had come for me to slowly start packing everything up, the time had also come to figure out everything back home. Mainly this meant dealing with the ex-bf.

Let me explain things to everyone first, provide some background if you will on this whole situation. J. (the ex-bf) and I had been best friends since I was about 16 years old. I met him where I had my very first job and he dated one of my friends. We were inseparable all through high school. When it came time for college we ended up at the same school. Our first two years we both lived on campus. He lived a floor below me. Needless to say, we were still inseparable.

Once our Junior year hit and we were able to live off-campus and decided to live together. We rented one of the many crappy houses that surrounded the campus. Our last two years of college were a blast. It was great living with him. He dated and I dated. But never each other.

After college I had law school next. We moved out of the crappy house and into a nicer apartment together. It had worked out so well for us, we figured it would keep working. We were good roommates. Half-way through my first year of law school, something happened between us. We were just laying around watching TV when he asked me out of the blue, "why have we never dated?"

I thought he was joking, so I threw a pillow at him and told him it was because he smelled.

He wasn't joking. After a long conversation we decided to give it a try. In the back of my mind, I knew why we never dated. He was not a one girl type of guy, and I was not into casual dating. But we decided to give a try. The first couple months were great. I was dating my best friend. The problem was, he never made that transition from best friend to boyfriend. He kept treating me the same.

Right before I came to London we had a long heart-to-heart. Things weren't working out. We would never not be best friends. Maybe some time apart would make things better. I knew it wouldn't. Right after I left to London, he went back to his old self. Lots of girls and me the best friend. That is why I got the email telling me it wasn't working.

The reason I was so ok with everything was because I knew it wasn't meant to be. We stilled emailed the entire time I was in London, but it was as best friends. Over the last two weeks we had decided that maybe it was time we both lived alone. We wanted to maintain our friendship and we figured the best way to do that is to not be living together anymore.

So, J. moved out and found a place nearby. It will be weird going home to the apartment knowing it is all mine, but I think it's the best thing right now. I have never lived alone, and I am excited about it. I can decorate how I want and walk around naked if I want...haha. It's a new chapter in my life and I am ready for it to start.

The Calm after the Storm

2007-08-06T21:08:00.000-05:00

It has a been a couple days since the tube bombings, and we had to get back to normal. We had our final project and it went great. Aaron delivered our closing statement beautifully. As he was standing up there in his suit with a look of utter business on his face, I could not help but think to myself "that man up there is mine!" As I said this i must have had a huge smile on my face, because his eyes met mine and I could swear that I saw him blushing.

Since the bombings the classes had been held in a building on the campus where our flats were. We had not been on the tube since that day. While some stations were closed, a lot had re-opened.

We had all decided that it was time to venture into the tube once again. Just the idea of going on it again sent sheer panic through my veins. I was not ready to face that again, but I knew that I had to. We had made reservations at a medieval banquet and were pumped to go. When the time came, we ventured out towards the tube station near our flat.

We walked down the steps. The steps we had walked up and down hundreds of times. We neared the first corner and swiped our cards. I could feel my palms begin to sweat. I was about to turn to Aaron who was holding my hand and tell him I was not ready, but he beat me to it. He looked down at me and whispered, "you're okay, I'm here."

I took a deep breath gave his hand a squeeze and continued. We made it onto the cart. A cart that would be usually bustling with people going in and out. A cart that was eerily empty. There were some people on it and everyone seemed to be extra vigilant.

I remember seeing a man with a backpack. He reached into it. All eyes were on him. He pulled out a bottled water. There was a collective sigh of relief.

We finally made it out of the tube and onto our desired destination. I had made it.

We reached the restaurant and enjoyed the rest of our evening. It was full of laughter, wine, and beer. We were all relaxing and enjoying our last couple days in London.

After a great dinner a many too many drinks we made our trek back to the flat. The ride going home was not as hard as the one before.

Once back at the flat Aaron and I headed back to my room. This had become a habit. We slept in his room or mine. But had not slept apart in almost a month. With a couple days left in London the reality of our situation began to set in. What would happen once we left the world we had developed here? Would we survive once we got back to the states?

We laid in bed and talked for hours that night. We did not know what the future had in store for us, but we did know that we wanted to try to make it work back home. We actually only lived about 5 minutes apart and would be sharing lots of classes once we got back. Would the live we had created here make it across the ocean?

I fell asleep after making love and knew that what would happen was what was meant to happen. All we could do for now is enjoy what we had.

Day and Night Part II

2007-08-05T20:08:00.000-05:00

We started to walk. We had to walk in groups of three or four as to not look too much like tourists. Aaron, Meg, and I decided to walk together. We knew it would take us at least two hours to make the trek back to the flat. As we were walking Aaron kept his arm around me and kept whispering to me that it was okay and that we were okay.

The walk back was surreal. We were walking with hundreds of other people, since both the tube and buses were down. We walked for what seemed forever. As we neared our flat we also neared one of the major hospitals in London. Outside the hospital was a growing crowd looking at the lists posted on makeshift tents trying to find the names of their loved ones, along with people being brough in on stretchers. I remember feeling a tear run down my face and feeling Aaron's grip on me tighten.

We finally made it back to the flat and it was not until here that we realized how close we had been today. The train that had the bomb was the one we were suppose to be on. It was the one we took everyday. Today, we had gotten lucky and caught the one 5 minutes early

Once we all had made it back to the flat our program directors wanted to have us all together in case we wanted to talk about anything. And what do people do in the face of a tragedy? They feed you. So that is what they did. They got Chinese food for all us and we sat outside on picnic tables. It was nice to see everyone there and it was what we all needed.

After dinner I headed back to my room. I had not let it hit me at all yet. I was trying to be so strong, yet at the same time I was scared and I wanted to go home back to the States. I heard a knock on my door around 10 o'clock that night. It was Aaron. I was so happy to see him. He walked into my room and closed the door behind him.

"Are you okay A.?" he asked.

I didn't answer. I looked up at him and tears started to fall from my eyes. I remember feeling the breeze coming in from my window. I remember feeling it on my skin.

He walked towards me and put his arms around me. I think I cried into his arms for several minutes. I was so thankful to have found somebody to have during a time like this. I finally allowed myself to feel scared and to let it out. I sobbed that I wanted to go home and he just stroked my hair.

He stayed with me that night and just held me. I felt safe in his arms. I felt that I was okay and that nothing could hurt me if I was in his arms.

Day and Night Part I

2007-08-05T18:20:00.000-05:00

July 6th

When we got done with class today the streets were crazy. Everyone was wearing the British colors or waiving the British flag around. London had won the bid for the 2012 Olympics. It was a huge party right out in the streets. You could not help but want to join in the celebrating, so we all did. We grabbed some of the little British flags they were waiving around and jumped right in. I have to say it was exciting being part of something so great. The whole city had united to celebrate. We went home that night with excitement in our veins. It was hard to calm down after a day like that.

July 7th

On our way to class this morning I picked up the morning paper on my way to the tube station and it was filled with pictures from last nights celebration. I was happy to have a memento from last night. As we neared our stop the lights flickered a little and they made everyone get out a stop ahead. We had no idea what was going on, but figured the train was having problems so we emptied out the carts as we were told to and walked the extra two blocks to class.

While sitting in class ( I was sitting in between Aaron and another girl from the course), the girl sitting next to me leaned in and asked if I had seen her flatmate J. I looked around and realized there was at least 5 other students missing. We had seen them partying pretty late into the night last night, so we just figured they had maybe skipped class today.

During our break that same girl and I ran to a nearby deli and picked up food for us and for Aaron. On our walk back we ran into two more students who were upset because apparently the tube system had been shut down. Now we were stuck on this side of town miles and miles form our flat.

When we all finally settled back into the classroom the professors seemed to have panic written all over their faces. They asked if we could please sign in. They needed to know who was here and who wasn't. This seemed a little out of place since it had never been done before. As I was signing my name a student ran into the room and yelled..."bombs went off in the tube, and they say there were more."

I felt my heart skip a beat as I looked up. A second student ran in a couple seconds later and with schock in his eyes somberly said, "a bus blew up and there were more explosions in the tube."

We all suddenly realized that we had indeed seen the missing students this morning, they had gotten into the train we all normally took. The reason that Aaron, Meg, the other flatmates, and myself were not on it was because of bakery. We stopped as we always did to grab coffee and fresh bakery down the street from our flat. Normally the bakery is out and ready to be purchased, this time it was not out on time. Aaron had asked me if I wanted to wait for them to put the bakery up since we had time before we caught our usual train to class, but I said I was not in the mood for bakery this morning so we caught an earlier train. Early by 5 minutes. 5 minutes that changed my life.

As it slowly hit us all that the missing students were on the train panic spread across the room. We did not know what to think or feel at that moment. Students wanted to go out and look for them, but we could not leave. The school had initiated a lock down on the campus and no one was allowed in or out.

I remember standing near my chair, with what I think was a look of sheer terror. As I was standing there, Aaron put his hand on my hand, looked me straight in the eyes and said, "you're okay, we are all okay, and its going to be okay."

I will never forget the words he said to me, because they are what got me through all of this.

At that moment we did not know what was happening exactly. We did not know if it was the start of something or the end of it. We were scared and at a loss as to what to be feeling. As the hours passed and no word on the missing students some of us cried and some of us sat and tried to act normal.

After a couple hours had gone by they told us we were getting free food in the cafeteria and could also use the phones in the building to call our parents and let them know we were okay. I remember calling my parents and having to tell them I was alive and okay and hearing my mom crying on the other end. I remember eating because they told us we should. And I remember playing charades to pass the time.

When we were beginning to loose all hope and fearing the worse we heard that the missing students were okay. They were suppose to be on their way back to the flat. They got lucky they were in the train after the one that had the bomb. We, unknown to us at the time, at been on the train in front of the one with the bomb. When we saw the lights flicker, that is when the bomb had gone off.

After four or five hours they let us go home. We had no way of getting to our flat but walking. Before we left we were given a talk, we were told that we should cover up anything that had the American flag on it or anything that pointed to the fact that we were from the United States. At that moment, the media was placing the blame on the United States. We started our walk...

Weekend

2007-08-03T14:14:00.000-05:00

I am heading to my cabin for the weekend so there will be no posts until Sunday. I have some really good ones coming up so keep coming back. Thanks so much to everyone that is reading my blog, I never thought I have people reading what I was writing. Hope everyone has a great weekend and see everyone back here Sunday!!

Love,
A.

Fireworks

2007-08-03T12:17:00.000-05:00

We have spent the last couple of days wrapped up in research and trying to get some more sightseeing in. Aaron and I made it to the British Museum which was amazing. Besides the fact that it is an amazing building, we were able to see the Rosetta Stone and pieces of the Parthenon on display. We all also took a trip to High gate Cemetery which holds the tomb of Karl Marx.

While the last couple of days have been fun, it was today we were all looking forward to. Today was 4th of July. We started our day with four hours of exams, but as soon as those exams were done we were free to party!! We started our day like any other day. Once we were done with exams it was time to celebrate.

I had told Aaron that as part of his birthday present I would treat him to a ride on the London Eye. Imagine a giant Ferris wheel that has glass bubbles instead of little baskets you sit in. Each bubble holds up to 15 people and it allows you to get an amazing view of the city. We headed to the London Eye and everyone headed back to the flat to prepare a BBQ for everyone.

The whole tube ride there Aaron was as happy as can be. He kept saying how sweet it was of me to treat him to this. While waiting in line he kept planting little kisses all over my face and saying, "you're amazing."

Once we were on the ride it was amazing. Once you get to the top they stop and let you just take in the view. It really was amazing. I stood in front of Aaron with his arms wrapped around my waist, and his head resting on top of my head. While standing there at one moment his grip around me seemed to have gotten tighter. I looked up at him wondering why he was holding on to me like that and the moment I looked up my lips met his. I smiled up at him and asked him what that was for.

He smiled down at me, gave me one more kiss, and said,"because you're mine and because I can."

That seemed like a perfectly suitable answer to me, so I smiled and turned back to take in more of the scenery. Once our turn on the Eye was done we headed back to the flat to join everyone else for the BBQ.

When we got there the beer was already flowing and the grill was fired up. Everyone was joking about how funny it was to be celebrating 4th of July in England, little ironic when you think of it. We grabbed a beer and joined the rest of group while we waited for the burgers to be done. It was great to just sit around with everyone and just chat. After more beer and some burgers the music went on. Pretty soon we had a little dance floor in the middle of the patio.

I grabbed Aaron and led him towards the dance floor. We had all classic music playing: Bon Jovi, ACDC, and little of everything else. It was a blast. We had no fireworks since, well you know England does not celebrate 4th of July...haha. We kept on drinking and kept on dancing and at the end of the night it was a different kind of fireworks that ended that night.

It was getting pretty late and I was so in the mood for a little alone time with Aaron. I had been standing chatting with the girls when I happened to look over to were he was standing with a group of guys. I could not help but think of how good he looked at that moment. He has the whole tall, dark and handsome thing going for him. The way he was standing was making his broad shoulders and amazing arms more enticing to me. Meg nudged me and told me to wipe my mouth, that I was standing here drooling over him. I laughed, but I knew she was right.

During one of my many glances towards him we happen to meet eyes. The look he gave me made me realize that he was thinking the same exact thing. He said his goodbyes to the guys and made his way over to us.

"Hey there pretty ladies," he said and gave us all that crooked smile. He slid his arm around my waist and asked if he could steal me for the night. They all giggled and responded with a unanimous "of course."

Meg looked at him and at me and said, "For the love of God, just take her!" We all laughed and I said my good nights.

We made the short walk to the flat and walked up the stairs to our flat. Once we made it into his room, things just started flying off. I swear we were in his bed and naken in 10 seconds flat..haha. Usually every time we make love its slow and tender, I mean yeah we've had the passionate nights but never like this. This time it was pure passion. Just raw physical energy that was driving us both. I have to say, the man knows how to make my toes curl. I don't think we slept much that night, at least not more then an hour or two. But who am I to complain that I spent my night making love instead of sleeping.

Ghosts and Birthdays

2007-08-02T12:25:00.000-05:00

It has been a hectic couple days. Classes have been crazy and the work load had been piled on. On top of our final project we have been helping on an actual international arbitration, which means we have been spending long nights in the law library reading case after case after case. We were all looking forward to a little distraction.

Today is Aaron's birthday and we were all looking forward to helping him celebrate. We planned on dinner at a restaurant called "The Texas Embassy" (what can I say I think we were getting to be a little homesick). I wanted to plan something fun for all of us to do and I had heard about the Haunted London Tours. As soon as I told Aaron about them he was all for it. He said he liked the idea of spending the night with his arm around me protecting me from the scary monsters that might be roaming the streets of London. I laughed at him, but allowed him to feel like the big strong man he so wanted to feel like..haha.

We were suppose to meet the tour guide in Central London at dusk. We got ready and headed out to catch the tube. Since it was Aaron's birthday I wanted to make sure I looked extra good tonight. I had been saving a brown v-neck tank top with silver sparkles down the front for a night out, but I decided it looked too good with my denim mini to pass it up tonight. With a super cute outfit I headed out the door to meet everyone else outside.

We made it to the place we were suppose to meet the tour guide and prepared for a scary look at London. Aaron's arm did not leave my body throughout the entire tour. I wish I could say it was scary and we had lots of fun, but we were so disappointed. The tour guide was pointing out haunted flies and ghost mice. And some of the stories he was telling I was sure I had heard before and when I had heard them they had not happened in London. We still tried to make the best of it and have fun.

After the scary London tour, we headed out to the restaurant for dinner and drinks. When we got there I made sure I told them it was Aaron's birthday. We had great dinner and the drinks were flowing. When it was time for dessert they brought out this HUGE brownie for Aaron with sparklers on top. He was so embarrassed when they made him put a sombrero on and stand up while we all sang happy birthday. All in all I think he had a great time at dinner.

After dinner we all headed back to the flat since we did have class early the next morning. Once we got there we were standing outside my room when I told him I had one more surprise for him. I grabbed him by the hand and led him into my room. I told him to occupy himself with my laptop or books I had laying around while I used the bathroom.

During one of the many conversations we had he had mentioned that he had the catholic school girl image stuck in his head every since I told him I wore plaid uniform skirts all through school. He had also mentioned that he thought it would be so hot to see me in one. During one of my study breaks this past week I had found a fantasy gift store and bought myself a little plaid skirt and knee high white socks. I already had a pair of Mary Jane shoes so it would be perfect.

While in the bathroom I changed out of my clothes and into the plaid skirt, knee highs, and just a white bra as a top. I even put my hair in pig tails and touched up my make-up a little. I was actually pretty proud of myself of how good this had turned out. I grabbed a candle I had in my bathroom and lit it before walking out. On my way out I hit the light and put the candle on my desk.

i stood there with a huge grin on my face and said, "Happy birthday!", as I held my arms out to him. His eyes went big and this huge smile appeared across his face.

"It is a very happy birthday," he said with that grin getting bigger by the second.

As I started walking towards him in my best seductive walk I kept giggling inside my head, I had never done the dress up thing and was actually kind of nervous.

When I finally reached him I straddled his lap. He was sitting on my desk chair and I could feel he was excited to have his birthday present sitting in front of him. I wrapped my arms around him and he kissed me. He kissed me one of those make-your-knees-buckle kisses of his.

He looks into my eyes and says, "You really are amazing A., I know I say it a lot but I can't get over it. I am so happy I found you."

He seemed to be all for trying out the outfit right there on that chair and who was I to say no to the birthday boy..hehe. In a matter of seconds we were going it at it hot and heavy and at some point we did make it over to the bed. How, I really don't know. My memories of what happened and how are clouded by the pleasure we were both feeling at that moment.

While we were both lying there breathless he smiled and said, "Now that was a happy birthday to me!"

A prayer goes out...

2007-08-01T21:54:00.000-05:00

I was going to post today but things got a little hectic. I am from MN and live in the Twin Cities, needless to say my day has been consumed with the Bridge collapse. I am so far lucky that no one I know was hurt, but everything has been crazy here. I have been with little to no cell phone because all the signals have been jammed. I just wanted to send a prayer to anyone who had anyone involved today and keep praying no one I know was involved. I will post at least two posts tomorrow.

Love,
A.

Finding my religion

2007-07-31T20:35:00.000-05:00

Rome was in word: spiritual. Let me set the background. I think I have mentioned before that both Aaron and I are private school brats. We both also have been attending private Catholic school since preschool. Needless to say that religion has been very important in both of our lives. I have had religion in my life as far as I can remember and my family has always been very religious as well. Because it has been such an important force in my life I was more then ecstatic to be visiting Rome and more importantly Vatican City.

The friends we stayed with had their living quarters located in viewing distance of Vatican city. When we first made our way there I was more then just in awe at the chance to view everything around me. We got there late Friday night. Once we got there we were able to finally sit with friends and have some dinner. Below their apartments where the students for the Rome program are housed, is a small restaurant. They had lots of outdoor seating and we took over a big part of the restaurant. That night we spent eating, drinking some delicious red wine, and catching up with our friends. The next thing we knew we were closing down the place. We headed back up to their apartment and got ready for bed.

Aaron and i were sleeping in a pull out couch in their living room area. We settled ourselves in and realized we were no where near tired. As we lay there we started talking about religion. Being able to share not only a connection on a physical and emotional level, but also a religious level made everything that has been happening with us make more sense. We talked about how religion influences our views from politics to everyday views. It is refreshing to be able to talk to someone not only about how my day was but also about religion and how it impacts my view of the world. We talked for what seemed like hours and eventually we both fell asleep.

The next morning we woke up, got ready, and headed down to the little restaurant with the rest of the group for some breakfast. We were going to go check out Vatican City and I could not be more excited. Aaron kept joking around with me that you could see how giddy I was in my face. And I was. I was so excited to be able to finally see one of the things I said I would see before I died. What made it more special is that I was sharing it with someone who understood why it meant so much to me.

Once we had eaten our share for the morning we headed out. Once standing there in the midst of all that symbolizes my religion I was left speechless. I was holding Aaron's hand and I just squeezed it. He knew that I did not need him to say anything so he just squeezed it back. We spend the day in Vatican City. From the Swiss Guards to St. Peter's Basilica everything was amazing. I sat in one of the pews and literally thanked God for giving me a chance to be seeing this. The whole time Aaron had his hand in mine knowing that it was all I needed.

We made it back to the apartments and enjoyed yet another fabulous dinner. After more catching up we all headed to bed. Aaron and I had to catch an early flight back to London since we had so much work to get done when we got back.

Back on the plane on our way back to London Aaron looked at me and said my name, "A?"

"Yeah."

"You had fun didn't you?" he asked.

"I had an amazing time," I told him. "It was more then amazing, I got to see something I have been wanting to see all my life, and I got to see with you."

He smiled that crooked smile and held my hand up to his face. He kissed my hand and said, "I am glad I got to share this weekend with you too."

We finally made it back to the flat and realized we were too tired to get any work done that night. We went into my room and intended to take a nap. I snuggled up to him and laid my head on his chest. He kissed the top of my head, said "you're amazing", and the next thing I knew it was the next morning.

Quick note

2007-07-31T20:28:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to let everyone that has been reading know that there will be lots of double, triple, and even quadruple posts in the next couple days. The reason is two-fold. One, I finally have lots of free time for the next month or so. Two, I have had lots of exciting stuff happening in the last 6 months or so I would love to share with you.

So keep reading, enjoy my London adventure and hope you keep reading.

Thanks to everyone that has been reading and leaving comments I appreciate it all!!!

Love,
A.

Getting along

2007-07-31T14:31:00.000-05:00

It has been a week since our amazing candle filled night at the flat. This past week has been filled with a mountain of work and not much else. We were put into "firms" in our class and given a huge project. We had to conduct an international arbitration from start to finish. This would entail depositions, affidavits, preparing opening/closing statements, and preparing direct and cross examinations.

This would also force 8 of us to work together for the next month or so preparing what would be our final project. The first meeting went pretty smoothly and everyone seemed to get along. But by the second meetings the claws were starting to come out. When you stick 8 type A personalities in one room and force them to put egos aside, it becomes one hard hard task.

Aaron and I were so thankful to be on the same team so we at least were able to spend time with each other. We are both interested in the same type of law so our minds tend to work alike. But we had so many other legal backgrounds in the group that putting us together seemed to not be working. This group project was what was consuming our every waking moment lately. It was hard to still want to spend time with these people outside the class/work environment.

Aaron and I had decided we wanted to take in one of the many plays that London has to offer. We found a perfect one. If anyone ever gets a chance to see it, it is a must!! The play is called "Some Girl(s)" and when we saw it, it was starring David Schwimmer as the lead. I must say it was totally worth the money. That night was also a nice distratction from all the bickering that had been going with our group members over legal strategy and what was the best route to be taking in our case.

After the play we found what we thought looked like a really good Italian restaurant. We sat down and ordered and waiting with anticipation for our food. I was starving and was happy to be eating more then sandwiches (which is what my lunch had consisted of for the past week). When our food came it looked delicious. But that bubble was burst with our first bite. The food was horrible. It tasted like a TV dinner you would buy at the grocery store. By the end of the meal we were both laughing so hard at how bad it actually was that it made dinner enjoyable.

When we were making our way back to the flat we realized that we were still starving, so we stopped at the Chinese restaurant near our flat and picked up some take out. We took the food back to the flat and sat in our kitchen with our files in front of us. We had a closing statement to write that would have to withstand the scrutiny of our group.

It has been a week full of work and there is only more to come. Because there had been so much work and everyone around us had been so crabby we were trying to plan another weekend trip somewhere. Our school had another program in Italy that was going on at the same time, and we both had friends there right now. We were able to get in touch with them and secured ourselves a free place to stay. We booked our flights on Ryan Air and could not be more excited to be traveling to Italy.

I cannot wait to share yet another city with this amazing man!

Dinner for Two

2007-07-30T23:46:00.000-05:00

When we woke up the next morning he was forced to do the walk of shame back to his bedroom while the rest of our flat watched him and smirked. I showered and got ready for class and met the rest of the flatmates outside as usual. We took the tube down to the main campus and embarked upon our daily routine of class followed by lunch.

After lunch we all decided to go check out the Westminster Abby, the Tower of London, and any other attraction that was in the area. It was all a good time. I still have not gotten tired of London. So much to experience, so much to see. By the time we all made it back to the flat it was almost dinner time.

I decided I wanted to take a shower before dinner because the heat had gotten unbearable. I was under the impression that we would all be eating dinner together in our flat that night. I headed to my room and jumped in the shower. The cold water felt so good and I was not looking forward to having to leave the shower. I spent a good 45 minutes in there just enjoying the water. After the shower I took my time getting ready. I slipped into a sundress and hoped that would keep me cool.

When I walked out of my room I realized that the hallway lights were off. I called out my flatmates' names, but no one answered. "Weird," I said out loud.

I walked into the kitchen and realized it was lit by nothing more then two candles sitting in the middle of the table. I looked around and noticed that there were two plates on the table with a heaping helping of lasagna and two glasses of wine. As I stood there I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and saw Aaron. "Surprise," he said with a huge grin on his face.

"How did you do this? Where is everyone else? What is going on?", I was full of questions and they were all coming out all at once.

"I made it last night and just had to pop it in the oven today. As to everyone else I begged them to give us the flat for the night with the promise that I would cook everyone dinner tomorrow. And as to what is going on, I wanted to show you how much you have come to mean to me A."

I was completely speechless. If you are wondering how dinner from him can be a bribe, you have to understand that his dad is a chef and he has picked up a lot. He also loves to cook so it helps.

"Thank you," is all I could muster. I stood on my tip toes and kissed him on the lips.

We sat down and enjoyed an amazing dinner with a bottle of wine. He had even made me dessert, strawberry cheesecake!!

After dinner He grabbed my hand and led me to his room. Right before we walked in he asked me to close my eyes. I obediently did as I was told and held onto his hand so he could guide me in. When I heard the door close behind me I stood there waiting to be told I could open them. Once he let go of my hand he told me I could open my eyes. What I saw literally took my breath away. His room was filled with candles. Vanilla scented candles everywhere (since I had mentioned to him once that they were my favorite). I could not believe that he would do all this for me. No one had ever done something like this for me.

"Aaron, this is amazing. You did this for me?", I asked him as he stood in front of me.

"A.," he said and led me to the bed. "I know this may seem sudden and perhaps like I am moving too fast. But I have fallen in love with you. I know its crazy and its been so short of time, but I can't deny how I feel."

I was completely in awe. I had this man before me, a man I see as everything I have ever wanted in someone, telling me that he loved me. He loved me, A. Not someone else, but me! I looked up at him leaned into him, kissed him softly on the lips and whispered, "I love you too!".

He put his arm around me, smiled bigger then I have ever seen him smile and pulled onto his lap. He put his hand behind my neck and pulled me into one of his mind blowing kisses. At that moment I wanted to make love to the man that I knew I loved. I moved so that I would be straddling him. As we continued kissing him I could feel his body craving me as well. This time he was completely in control and I was enjoying every minute of it.

He slipped my sundress over my head, and in one swift motion unhinged my bra. As we kissed wildly I pulled on his shirt and finally got his polo over his head. I noticed that his bathroom light was still on so I looked towards the bathroom and back towards him. He gave me a dirty little smile and lifted me off his lap and into his arms. He carried me towards the bathroom all the while kissing me. Once in the bathroom he had the rest of our clothes off within seconds. He played with the water temperature with one hand and held me in his arms kissing me with the other. once the water was right he lifted me off the floor and onto the shower.

I could feel the water hit our bodies and his hands roam my body. He lifted me off the floor and pressed my back against the shower wall, and soon we became one. I could feel him and he could feel me. He whispered that he loved me into my ear and I whispered it right back to him. I truly did love him. I had found the man I had been looking for and it was all by mere coincidence.

Within minutes we both were rocking into each other and our bodies had found their rhythm. We continued like that for what seemed like hours, and soon I could feel the release that was about to happen. When it came we both held on to each other and I could feel his lips on my shoulder.

When we turned the water off he grabbed a towel and wrapped me up in it. He carried me back into the bedroom and laid me down on his bed. We made love at least two more times that night and we fell asleep exhausted in each others arms. The last thing I heard was him whispering he loved me and the last thing I saw was the face of the man I loved.

When the heat gets to you

2007-07-29T21:35:00.000-05:00

The heat has taken over and has made it unbearable at times. When we are not in class we try to find places that have air conditioning, and we have discovered that the movie theater down the block from our flat is perfect.

We went to see "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" today and I can't say that I liked the movie very much. What I did find amusing is that I felt like I was back in junior high. We went in a group of about 12 of us and all sat together in the theater. I felt like I was on a "date" a la junior high. Where all your friends are there but you get to sit next to the boy you like and hope he holds your hand.

Even with everything that has happened with Aaron, i still felt chills when he first reached to hold my hand. I really did feel like I was back in junior high.

After the movie we all decided to head to a pub that is right across the street from the theater. Although we have class tomorrow morning, it did not stop us from getting a little crazy. I don't think they liked us much because we got lots of "f'ing Americans" while we were there. But we brushed it off and enjoyed ourselves. We must have heard at least 5 Britney Spears songs while we were there and proceeded to sing along to all of them, at least the girls did. We indulged in lots and lots of Magners and stumbled our way back to the flat.

When we made it back to the flat I was feeling very adventurous. While in Paris I had picked up a lacy pink little number. I had resolved on our walk back to the flat that tonight was the night to try it out. When we were standing right outside my room I stood on my tiptoes and whispered into Aaron's ear, "I want you."

The look on his face was exactly what I was looking for. He grabbed my hand, said goodnight to everyone and literally dragged me into my room. After I locked the door behind me I gently pushed him towards my bed.

"I need you to just sit here and get comfortable...I will be right back," I said to him while batting my eyelashes at him.

He sat back on my bed, I grabbed the little bag I had in my closet and headed to my bathroom. I closed the door behind me and slipped what I was wearing off. I slipped on the pink lacy bra and the pink lace boy shorts I had bought. I put some body spray on and let my hair down. Since the light switch to my bedroom was right outside my bathroom I hit the switch as I walked out. My room was lit by nothing but the light radiating from the moon. I walked out and stood there and allowed him to take me in. The look on his face made me feel sexy and wanted.

I walked towards him and flirtatiously said, "surprise!"

As i neared him I could feel his body tense up with anticipation. I stood right in front of him and started to slowly undue his buttons. When I had his shirt off I striped his under shirt off with no problem. I grabbed his hands and helped him up. Once I had him standing up I tugged on his belt and slid his shorts off him. He stepped out of them without hesitation. Once he was standing there in nothing but his boxers I was able to finally take the sight of him in. He stood before me 6'2'', wide shouldered and muscular. I remember biting my lip at the thought of what would soon be happening.

I pushed him back on the bed and climbed on top of him. I was sitting there straddling him while his hands rested on my hips and he sat up to meet me face to face. He looked at me and whispered, "you are amazing."

I began to kiss his neck and I felt his hands begin to roam by back. I soon made my way to his lips and our kisses were deep and hungry. We both wanted each other with a force to strong to stop. As we were kissing I felt my bra strap unhinge and I saw that crooked smile directed towards me. I heard him groan as he slipped it off of me. He dipped his head down and planted kisses from my neck to my breasts and back up my neck. I couldn't help but moan his name.

Within minutes my boy shorts were off, his boxers were off, and I had him above me looking down at me. My body was waiting for him and I wanted him so bad. He was planting tiny kissed up and down my neck and down to my breasts. He was making it unbearable. After more torture, I finally got what I wanted. What we both wanted. We were rocking back and forth as one. I felt pleasure that only he could give me. We moved together for what seemed like an eternity, until we both finally released it all. We clung to each other and felt each other go breathless. As I was beginning to let my body relax from the release we had both experience, he leaned into my ear and whispered, "I love you." My eyes opened and I looked up at him...

Paris, the city of love!

2007-07-29T11:02:00.000-05:00

So....Paris was...AMAZING!!! We ended up booking our tickets for the chunnel and two nights at a reasonably priced hotel. It also turned out to be Aaron, Meg, the guy, and me. Meg and I were planning on sharing a room and the two guys were sharing a room.

When we first got there it was close to 4 0'clock. We made it to the hotel, dropped our stuff off and headed out to check out the sights. There were two things that Aaron and I had on our list of things we had to see: the Louvre Museum and the Cathedral of Notre Dame. Before we hit the tourists attractions we decided to get something to eat. Right outside our hotel was a little restaurant with outdoor seating so we took advantage of the nice weather and ate outside. I really don't know what I was eating but it was good!!

After lunch we decided we would hit the Museum and try to get some good pictures of the Eiffel Tower before we did anything else. And we did have another whole day in the city, so we did not want to rush. We made it to museum, which I fell in love with and got a good picture of the Tower. Our first night there was nothing too exciting. We walked around for a bit and headed back to the hotel. Meg and I retired to our rooms and that was that.

The second day was amazing from start to finish. We had breakfast at the hotel and then we ended up spliting up for the day. Aaron and I wanted to make sure we made it the Cathedral, while the other two headed out to do some shopping. On our walk and metro ride Aaron and I were inseparable. We had our fingers interlacing and he kept giving me little kisses every chance he got. We got to the Cathedral and just took the sights in. It was amazing to be able to share something that I have always wanted to see with him.

By the time we were out of the Cathedral, it was time for lunch. We found another tiny cafe with outdoor seating and enjoyed a lunch along with another one of our great conversations. While eating lunch we took some time to look through our guide book and decided we wanted to do a boat ride down the Seine, but also wanted to do it at night. So we killed time just walking around the city hand in hand.

When it was time for the boat ride we heade out to where we were suppouse to be. The scenery from the boat ride is amazing. You get to see the whole city, but that was not what made it memorable to me. While on the boat we started to talk.

He looked at me and said my name. I looked up at him wondering what he was thinking and he said, "I think...no...I know I have fallen for you. And I also know that I want to be the only one falling for you." He seemed a little nervous and kept fidgeting with my hand. "A., what I am trying to say is I would like it if we were to see each other and only each other. I know its hard right now because we are far away from home and its easy to get caught up. But I say we start here and see where it leads us back home."

I looked up at him and did the only thing I could think of doing in response. I reached up and kissed him. He smiled and I knew he knew what I was thinking. He wrapped his arms around me and we just stood like that for what seemed like hours. I turned my head towards him and said, "I hope you realized I meant I agree with you."

He laughed, and said that he did understand what I meant when I kissed him and went on to poke fun at me for being careful about everything.

When we made it back to the hotel I knew I wanted to spend my last night there with him. I ran into Meg and the guy at the lobby when they were on their way out again, and I asked her if she minded sleeping in the other room. She laughed and said "what's a friend for!"

With a room to ourselves we headed up to our room. He stopped at his room and grabbed his bag. Once in the room together we sat and talked for a long time. After awhile as we were laying in bed still talking we both realized what we both wanted.

We started with slow kisses. He kissed my forehead. Each eyelid. Each cheeck. Then finally my mouth. His kisses were so soft and tender I felt a rush of emotion start within me. When we undressed each other it was slow and passionate. I slowly undid all the buttons on his shirt as we sat on our knees on the bed. Our mouths would not leave each other. Once we were both undressed he laid me back on the bed and just looked into my eyes.

I have never been so nervous in my life. My heart was pounding and every nerve in my body was on end. He asked me if i was sure I wanted to do this, and I told him i was more then sure. The next thing I knew we were making love (and yes, we were safe). It was slow and tender and wild and passionate at the same time. The next morning i woke up in his arms and to him just looking at me. The first thing I head that morning was, "good morning beautiful." We ended up making love again that morning. Afterwards, we laid in bed for what seemed like hours and then forced ourserlves up.

We had to make the trip back to London, back to our flat. But we both knew the trip was going to be a whole different experience from then on. We knew we wanted to spend as much time together and experience new things together.

When we got back to the flat and it was time to go to bed, he stayed in my room. We made love again that night and as I lay there falling asleep I realized that i could get use to this. I could get use to being in his arms.

Confessions of the heart

2007-07-26T21:37:00.000-05:00

So we ended up just making out last night...and lets just say it got a little more intense then the first time. I am usually not this forward or willing to jump into bed with anyone, EVER!! But with him it just feels so right.

It is so nice that class ends so early in the day and by 11am we are done for the day. After class we all went to lunch and then went our separate ways. Aaron and i decided to go check out Kensington Palace (The picture to the left is of Kensington Gardens, its the view we had as we sat there). It was beautiful and the front gate is full of flowers and cards to Princess Diana. Along the path in the back there are benches. We sat there and he had his arm around me. As we were sitting there he was running his fingers up and down my arm.

"You are amazing A.," he said to me. I just looked up at him and smiled.

"I really mean it. I have never felt like this before. You have me in this daze. I can't get enough of you. When I am not with you I want you near me and when I'm with you I just want to be touching you."

He seemed so deep in thought I was afraid to say anything, but I knew I had to say something and not leave him feeling that his feeling were not reciprocated.

"Aaron, I know exactly how you feel. I am not usually this open and willing to just fall. But you have made it so easy for me."

He put his hand on my chin and turned my face towards him.

He kissed the top of my head, "I," kissed my eyes, "am," kissed my cheek, "falling," kissed my lips, "for you." I was feeling so much at that moment that I had no idea what to say. I grabbed his neck and kissed him. I kissed him with all the passion and emotion that I was feeling.

"I am falling for you too," I said breathlessly.

We stayed like that for a while and then made our way towards more sights. We walked through Hyde Park and decided that we would have to come back here with a picnic. As we were walking we also realized it was our first weekend in Europe and everyone was making plans to travel. We had heard that tickets to take the Chunnel to Paris were relatively cheap and we could always share a hotel room. As the thought of sharing a room with him crossed my mind, so did the possibility of what could happen if we shared a room and perhaps even a bed.

It was decided we would go back to the flat and buy the tickets online and find a cheap hotel to stay at. Paris here we come!!!

Once we got back to the flat I decided it was time to spend a little time with Meg, since we had not done anything together since we got to London. So we stopped at the liquor store on the way back and I bought two bottles of wine and some snacks.

When I got back to the flat I found Meg in her room. I walked in with my hands behind my back. "Guess what I have?!," I asked her. I pulled the bottles of wine from behind my back and she clapped her hands and said, "Yay!"

We spend the evening drinking wine and chatting. I told her everything that had been happening with Aaron and about the trip to Paris. She was all for it and had some fun stories for me. She had been spending some quality time with one of the guys that was living in one of the other flats that was in the program with us.

Am I crazy for falling for him so fast? I feel like things are going at a lighting speed yet I am loving it. I can't wait until tomorrow. Paris here we come!!!

A little info

2007-07-26T15:20:00.000-05:00

I had posted this in a comment...but thought I would post it here so everyone can read it. I just wanted to let everyone know these are postings from a journal I kept while in London the summer of 2005. I just type out what I had for that day. Sometime depending on how much I wrote you may get double or triple posts! Thanks for the comments I have received and hope you enjoy it, I know I enjoy writing it and a chance to reminisce.

Pictures

2007-07-25T22:49:00.000-05:00

Here is a picture of the Millenium Bridge at night time. This is a view after walking the whole length of the bridge. I had gotten a comment asking to see pictures, so here are a few to share. Here is the fountain in Trafalgar Square, its right outside of the National Gallery and where we had lunch.
Here is a picture from the London, haven't told you guys about that day yet but it was awesome!!

A little learning and a little doodling

2007-07-25T19:51:00.001-05:00

Today was our first day class. I started my morning with a knock on my door. When I opened the door I saw Aaron standing with a big grin and cup of coffee in hand.

"Here you go pretty lady," he said with that same grin still plastered on his face.

He had been up for a while and had gone to the coffee shop just down the block and gotten us some coffee. Still another make me melt moment. He bent down and gave me a little kiss as I said thanks. I grabbed my bag and books and we met the rest of the flatmates downstairs in front of the building.

We walked the short distance to the tube station and headed to the campus. The main campus where our class is in downtown London, or is it central London. I don't know, I'm still up with their lingo..hehe. Once we found the campus and found our classroom we all took our seats. Aaron sat next to me and we spent the entire class doodling on each other's notebooks. If you would have seen us, you would think we were in 5th grade again. There was a lot of little touches here and there and lots of smiles.

The class itself was a little on the long side, but we have some amazing professors. We literally have the people that wrote the book on the topic.

After class we all headed out to a little sandwich place we found on our walk to class. The food was amazing and I got a chance to spend sometime with the rest of the group.

Instead of heading back to the flat, Aaron and I decided to go do a little shopping. He wanted to pick up some gifts for the family and wanted some help. We started at one of the shopping with the really high end stores and ended up at the cheap discounts stores. We stopped and had some ice cream and waked hand in hand the entire time.

When we realized that we had been shopping for hours we decided to pick up chinese take out from the place near our flat and head back to one of rooms to eat it.

Once we got to my room and were sitting on my bed eating he said he wanted to talk. The first thing that came to mind was..."great, he is about to tell me has a girlfriend back home." But instead he started to talk to me about how it had only been a few days yet he felt like he knew me forever. I told him I knew what he meant. So we had the talk about if we had anyone back home. I told him about my ex-bf and that situation. We talked about the fact that we were both feeling a lot really fast, and ended the conversation with a kiss. We also decided to just lay in bed and do our reading.

He laid with his head on one side of the bed and i laying opposite him. We laid in silence for a good two hours and just read. After I was finished I realized that he was just laying there with his hands behind his head staring at me. So with a little naughty smile I slowly crawled my way to him...

Hitting the town!

2007-07-24T19:39:00.000-05:00

So tonight was the first time we all got together and headed out for night out in the city of London. We headed to the Picadelly Circus area and figured we would find clubs and bars that way. It was a big group of us, and I was so happy Aaron was in that group.

Because I knew he was coming I wanted to make sure I looked extra hot...he he. i went with a pair of jeans that fit me very well if do say so myself and a red strapless top with some fun black sandals. I also opted for my hair down and curled.

Once we caught the tube down to where we needed to be it was time for a little fun. We started at a quiet little pub and had some Pims and Magners (a hard irish cider). Once there we all decided to start the night off with a round of shots. Now with a little buzz we headed to find a place with a dance floor. This entire time Aaron would not leave my side and I was loving it!! We had our fingers interlaced as we were walking down the street.

Once inside the next bar I headed straight for the dance floor and dragged him right behind me. They were playing Britney Spears "Toxic", which made me laugh because she is still loved in Europe apparently. Once on the dance floor we didn't stop. We danced none stop all night long. And soon those one round of shots turned into, two and three, and four...and we lost count. By the time we left we were both feeling pretty sober considering all that dancing. But some of our flatmates were not looking too good. The tube ride back was nothing special. But i did get to stand in front of Arron and have his arms wrapped around me. Is it crazy and i am totally falling for someone i have known for under a week!?!?!?!

Once back at the flat I told him I was no where near tired so he asked if I wanted to watch a movie. I told him I would love it. I even surprised him with a movie that was not girly at all. I had forgotten that I had brought "The Messengers" with me. So we put the movie in my computer, but not before we both changed into PJ'S. After about 30 minutes into the movie and lots of me squealing and covering my eyes, we were suddenly kissing. I have no idea how it started but we were totally making out. And I mean full on making out...kissing, hands roaming, the whole nine yards. I know i said it before, but every kiss from him makes me weak in the knees. And at this rate it was ten times as intense. We didn't go any further but we did just lay and cuddle for a couple hours and talked. Yet another of those amazing conversations. As we talked I laid my head on his chest and he had his arm around me while he played with my hair.

I am totally head over heels for this guy!!!!

Amazing!

2007-07-23T18:44:00.000-05:00

Amazing, that is what tonight was. Around 8ish I heard a knock on my door. I had been primping for the last hour that i was in my own little world.

With the help from Meg, I had decided to go with a flirty strapless pink cotton dress and a pair of white flip flops. I even had her curl my hair and I wore down. And i have to say, I have really nice hair..he he. When I wear it down it goes about 4 inches down my back. Anyways, after applying one last coat of lip gloss I opened the door. And to say that I swooned at the sight of him would be an understatement. He was dressed in a pair of khaki shorts and wearing a baby blue button up shirt, with the sleeves rolled up. ( I love when guys do that!!). The shirt made his blue eyes just jump out. He was holding a piece of paper in his hand, and when he handed it to me I had another one of those "i just melted moments". On the paper was a drawing of a little flower. I looked up at him and he said..."I have no idea where a flower shop is around here, but I wanted to get you a flower. So this is as close as I could get."

I just about melted. In this really happening to me, is what i kept asking. We made our way out to the tube station and took the tube that would get us closest to Millennium Bridge. I was super excited because I had heard it is a gorgeous sight at night. We made our walk towards the bridge and I was not disappointed. The bridge is completely lit up and with the dark sky in the back ground it was a sight to behold.

As we were walking he held my hand and I swear my heart skipped a beat. We walked the entire bridge and at the end had someone take our picture. Right off the water was a restaurant with a really cool retro look. It was dark and lit by a ton of candles everywhere. You would think this was planned on his part, but we found it completely by accident. We got our table, sat and ordered a specialty pizza to share and ordered a pitcher of Pims (my new favorite drink). During dinner we once again had one of those amazing conversations. After everyone of these I find myself falling for him. After dinner we walked around more and headed back towards the bridge. We lingered there a little more. Right as we were about to head back and we were talking about which direction to head off to...he started to just stare at me.

He was looking at me and it made me a little self-conscious. I asked him what was wrong and he responded with "nothing, I am just thinking of how badly I want to kiss you". Yeah, another one of those makes me swoon moments. I have never been so nervous in my life for a kiss or waited with such anticipation for one before. As i saw him lean in I couldn't help but let out a little sigh. He smiled and leaned in and finally kissed me.

OH MY GOD!!! I've been kissed before, but never like this. I literally felt my knees give and my stomach flip flop. He was so gentle and so warm. The way he held me in his arms. I am getting dizzy just thinking about it.

We eventually did make it back to the flat and had one more kiss at my bedroom door. He walked the three feet to his room and i closed the door to mine. And now here i am reliving it all in my head.

The good and the bad

2007-07-23T14:00:00.000-05:00

This morning I woke up to a nice email from my bf/ex-bf...whatever I want to call him. He pretty much said that he needed some time to think and felt that a break would be the best right now. The good thing is that our living situation is not horribly weird. We share an apartment, but we each have our own rooms (for the sake of my grandparents...they still believe no living together or hanky-panky until marriage, so I do it to make them happy). So i am at least happy with the though that if he were to bring a girl home it would not be to my bed. And the weird part is that I am surprisingly okay with all this.

After I woke up/showered and made sure I looked cute before leaving my room (I went with a denim skirt and a coral colored top with a pair of sandals that matched the top perfectly! I also decided to wear my hair up), I walked into the kitchen and the rest of my flat mates were already up and chatting about the their plans for the day. Meg was off for some shopping with two of the girls we went to school with, and everyone else was off to catch some sights.

Aaron and I decided to follow through on our plans to go to the Palace and the National Gallery. And let me say that I had an AMAZING time with him again! We took the tube to where we thought would be close to the palace but realized we were way off. So we took out a map and tried to figure it out. After about ten minutes of staring at the map Aaron looks down at me (he is about 6'2'' and i am whole 5'1'') and says "i'm going to have to get in the map!".

I was a little confused until I saw him put the map down and stand on top of it....he looked at me and gave me a crooked little smile and said "get it, like Joey did on 'Friends'". I could not help by burst out laughing....and of course take a picture. As I was laughing he was just staring at me with that same crooked smile.

"What?", I asked him.

And his response just about made me melt...."nothing, i just love hearing you laugh."

After a little more flirting we finally decided to ask someone where the palace was...we found it and got some awesome pictures of the changing of the guard. I even have one of me hugging the guard as he is super still and serious. We also bothered some other tourists and asked them to take our picture....a super cute one with his arm around me.

After the palace we realized it was lunch time and we were starving. We found a little restaurant overlooking Trafalgar square and had lunch. As we sat and ate our lunch we talked some more. And realized just how much we had a in common. From religion, to politics, to even our childhood. We are both private school brats...ha ha. And I know it is only day two of knowing this guy, but I have to admit I totally crushing.

We eventually made it the National Gallery and got a chance to see some amazing things. On our tube ride back to the flat we were in a pretty crowded cart since we caught rush hour. Since I had nothing to hold on to and it was a pretty bumpy ride i held on to him. And I have to say that it felt really good. You know the feeling when you just fit well with someone else. He put his arm around my back and i just leaned into him. When we got back to the flat I was in my room looking at what I would have to be reading for the days to come when I heard a knock on my door. It was Aaron.

He came to ask me out...i laughed and told him we had been out all day. He looked at me and said, "I am asking you out on a proper date, so I will come back from my room in about two hours, and pick you up, then we will head out to dinner."

I must have had a weird look on my face....because he started stuttering and said..."well if its okay with you."

I laughed and told him I would love to.

So in about and hour and half i am going on a date in London!!! I am so giddy!! I will most definitely have to come back and post how it went! Stuff like this never happens to me.....it feels like i am dreaming...nope not dreaming...i just pinched myself. Now off to get ready for my date!!!!

My first day...

2007-07-22T18:51:00.000-05:00

My first day out and about in London could not have been better!! The flat I share with 5 other people is pretty nice. We all have our own bedroom/bathrooms and we share a kitchen.

When I got up this morning to have some breakfast I walked into the kitchen and Aaron was already sitting at the head of the table with a bowl of cereal in front of him and a book about London. He looked up and smiled. We exchanged hellos and then as we were chatting I realized that we went to the same law school. I know it sounds dumb that we never met each other, but it actually does make sense. I had my classes in the morning section and he had his in the afternoon section, we never crossed paths.

After realizing how funny it was that we had to come all the way to London to meet each other, we also realized that we had a common love of museums. So we grabbed our stuff and headed out to explore London....but before sneaking into Meg's room and squealing to her that I was going to go spend the day with Aaron.

I was so happy that I packed some cute clothes for the trip. I had on my favorite white Capri, a pink top and my favorite pink sketchers. We caught the tube near our flat and decided to head to the V&A museum first. On our ride there we got lucky and had a pretty empty cart. We got a chance to talk and get to know each other. After the V&A we just wandered around and found a great little pub. We had a couple beers and headed back to the flat. As we were walking back in he told me he had a such a great time and hoped we would be seeing more of each other throughout this trip. I couldn't help but blush.

After dinner with the rest of my flatmates Aaron and I decided we would watch a movie. We had to watch it on my computer since we had no TV in our flat. I convinced him to watch one of my many girly movies I brought with me. We ended up watching "How to loose a guy in 10 days". We both laid on my bed with our heads on opposite sides. I am 25 years old and I still felt butterflies whenever he would touch my skin on accident.

I know I just met him, and I know its insane...but I have never clicked with anyone the way I click with him. We have this amazing connection. We talked about everything and nothing at all today. We shared our live stories and still had no weird moments of silence. We have two more days before our classes start, and we already made plans for tomorrow. The palace and the National Gallery.

The begining...

2007-07-21T20:59:00.000-05:00

I'm here!!! I can't believe I am really here! Meg (my best friend in the whole world), and I finally arrived in London. Gatwick airport was the first thing of London I have seen, and let me tell you not a pretty picture. We are here for one fabulous month taking a class through our law school(little background info: I just finished my first year of law school) so this is a summer abroad with lots of other law students.

I was super excited about the class I was taking, but not so excited about the prospect of leaving my live-in boyfriend back home. Anyways, after we got to the airport Meg and I knew we had to meet one of our classmates at his gate and take the train to our flats in the city. When we finally got through customs (and my god did it take a long time!!) we found him. He had ran into six other people who were in our program from back home. So we all took the train to the tube station and then finally made it to our flat. (Let me say that it is hot here and the tube/train ride was horrible, my luggage broke and i have blisters on my hands now!!).

Anyways, all of that can be forgotten because the moment Meg and I made it into the flat we would be sharing with four other people I saw him. He introduced himself. Aaron. He held his hand out to me and I took it. He was tall, dark hair, blue blue eyes, and oh so handsome. I don't think I actually said my name at first. I just stared. I was going to be living with him for two months!!!

My first thought was, "I can't live with him when all I want to do is jump him!!" So here I am in london , far away from home, with a gorgeous gorgeous man in a room next door to me. And oh yeah, my boyfriend...just got an email from him..."I think we need a break" was the last line.

So sorry to whoever might be reading it if is a little nonsensical...but i am blaming jet lag, my email from my bf..or ex-bf...and all that jazz!! Hope you come back to see what my london adventure holds for me!!!