What to think

It had been a couple days since the talk between Meg and I. I wasn't sure what I was suppouse to be feeling after that. Part of me felt that I should be understanding and try to be the bigger person. The other part of me, knew that I had been the bigger person way too many times in the past. I knew that I had allowed myself to be stepped on one too many times. I decided that what I could do was be civilized. I could be nice to her when I saw her out and still not have to feign a friendship.

I was happpy to have school and work to concentrate on. And little did I know I would soon have another distraction to keep my mind of everything. I was on my way home when I got a call from Aaron. He wanted me to meet him at my apartment. I figured we were up to our usual for a thursday night, chinese and movies.

When I got to my place I noticed he had already let himself in. I walked in dropped off my bag and called out his name. I saw him walk out of the kitchen and I started walking towards him.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked me.

"To the kitchen to see if you needed any help," I said.

He turned me around and pushed me towards the bathroom. "You have been super stressed since your little run in with Meg, and it stops today," he said as he ushered me into the bathroom.

When I walked in I noticed all the candles in my bathroom lit. They were the only light in the room. The bathtub was filled and almost overflowing with bubble bath. Next to the tub was a celebrity gossip mag and my bathrobe.

"You are going to take a bubble bath and relax. I am making orange chicken and I brought over a season of the 'West Wing'."

Not only was the idea of a bath great, but I had our favorite show to look forward to. He left me in the room and I slowly undressed and made my way into the tub. The water was perfect. I laid my head back, closed my eyes.

I was finally relaxed enough and ready to join Aaron in the living room. As I was walking in I heard him on the phone. "Of course she won't find out.......yeah.....I miss it too."

My heart stopped. Who could he be talking to? I cleared my throat to let him know I was in the room. He quickly said goodbye and turned to face me.

"A! I didn't hear you come out of the bathroom."

Coming Soon

I just wanted to let everyone know I finally have Internet and work is finally to calm down a little. I have a block of time set aside for wed. to do some writing. Thanks to those who still read it. It's something I write for myself and its nice to know other people have found some entertainment out of it.

Love,
A.

just a little longer

I hope everyone will be patient just a little longer. I just recently moved and do not have Internet up and running yet. I am at a Starbucks right now..hehe. I hope to have everything up and running by next week. I am so sorry for the lack of posts. With being sick, starting this new job, and moving it has been crazy. By this time next week everything will be back to normal. I am hoping I can get a post up, after work tomorrow but forgive me if I can't make it. I hope everyone keeps reading, and thanks a million for everyone's patience.

Love,
A.

Moving on

***I just wanted to let everyone know that this past week has been insane. I just started my job, and as a new attorney it is overwhelming. I move to another state on Saturday and have been training this whole week. I wake up, go to work, come home and pack, and finally to bed. I have also had a horrible cold and high fever to top it all off. I wanted to at least post something this week.***



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As Meg and I sat in silence, I couldn't help but let my mind wander. I wasn't sure why she was here, or what she wanted. I figured I had given her many chances, now I would sit and wait for her to make the first move.



"I don't even know where to start," she muttered.



I sat there without saying a word. For the first time I felt angry. I mean I was angry before, but not like this. Before I would be angry, but always felt that I could give her another chance. This time I wasn't to sure.



"I guess the first thing I should do is apologize," I tried to interrupt her to say it wasn't really worth it anymore, but she held her hand up to stop me, so I let her keep going.



"I know an apology isn't worth much , but I figured an explanation is the least that you deserve after all I have put you through."



"I guess an explanation couldn't really make things any worse," I replied.



I sat there in shock as the words came out of Meg's mouth. After what seemed like hours she was finally done with the whole story. I didn't know what to think. What I found out was that back when Pat and I were dating, Meg found out her parents were having issues. These weren't normal issues. Her mom found out her dad was having an affair. Meg was upset and wanted nothing to do with her dad, but her mom decided to look the other way.



Meg was angry and hurt and wanted someone to feel her pain. She did not lash out at her parents because she felt they were feeling enough. Instead she lashed out at me. She slept with Pat and broke my heart instead. She became what she was so busy hating in her own life, she became the other woman. This became a pattern for her. She would feel angry at her parents and take it out on me. Why on me, this I did not understand.



Her mom, still to this day, looks the other way when it comes to her husband's affair. Meg to this day this had not lashed out at her parents.

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I will try to finish this tomorrow. I can barely get out of bed, and I am hoping to feel better soon.

So Sick

Hey everyone,

Sorry for the lack of posts this week. I am sooo sick. I have been dealing with a cold that seems to get worse and worse. I start work on Monday, so I wanted to really rest up this weekend. I might get around to a post this weekend. For sure there will be a post on Sunday.

Love,
A.

Time to Party

The last couple of weeks have been crazy. We have spent most of our time with Aaron and his parents. But his dad is up and about and even asking for steak and wine...haha.

Now that things are finally returning to normal, Emma wanted to throw that engagement party for us. Aaron and I were so excited to get some celebrating time in. We hadn't really had a chance to celebrate with friends, so this was something we were definitely looking forward to.

We both got ready at my apartment and headed out. I wanted to make sure I took my time getting ready. I figured there would be lots of picture being taken with various friends, so why not look cute..hehe. I went with a brown strapless dress that had the cutest diamond broach and satin trim at the waist line. It was adorable, and looked amazing with my satin brown heels. Aaron looked good enough to eat. He had on khaki dress pants and a striped button down shirt. I just love him in those button downs.

When we got to Emma's place the place was already packed. We were having so much fun. Emma had taken the time to make picture boards of pictures of both Aaron and I growing up, and as a couple. I was so touched that she had gone through so much trouble. People were making toasts and sharing funny stories. The wine was flowing and everyone seemed to be having a great time.

I was raising my glass of wine when Emma came over to me. She asked if she could talk to me, and I have to admit the tone in her voice kind of made me worry.

"So?," she asked. "Are you guys having a good time A.?"

"The best Emm.", I said leaning in to her to give her a hug. "Thanks so much for doing this."

"I love you, it's my pleasure. But...don't get mad at me okay. But I kinda invited Meg. And, she kinda brought Pat with her," she said and closed her eyes bracing herself for what she assumed would be a horrible reaction on my part.

"It's okay," I said. "I know the problem is between Meg and me. It has nothing to do with you. I won't lie and say I wish she wouldn't be here, but whatever she's here now and I am having to good of a time to let her ruin it for me."

I went back to Aaron and continued to enjoy myself. I saw Meg out of the corner of my eye, but I was determined not to let her ruin it for me. She had ruined enough. Yet, in the back of my mind I couldn't help but want to run up to her and fill her in on everything that had been going on in my life. I wanted to show her my ring and have her squeal in excitement with me. I wanted her to want to help me plan my dream wedding.

I was in the middle of a group of girls, with my hand extended out as they all squealed over my ring and asked how Aaron had proposed, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and came face to face with Meg.

"Can we talk?," she asked.

I wasn't really sure what to do. I looked over to where Aaron was and noticed him looking at me. He was ready to head over to me, but I held up my hand to him to stop him. I nodded my head and excused myself from the group. Meg and I walked in silence until we reached Emma's bedroom.

Life is unpredictable

There I was in my own little world. Enjoying walking hand in hand with the man I loved. Knowing that we were going to start our lives together and that we had the blessing of our families. Everything was perfect. Everything was perfect until we saw an ambulance fly by. We turned to see where it was going and noticed it stopped at the restaurant we had just left. Both our parents were still there, and of course sometimes you can't help but think the worst.

Aaron squeezed my hand, and said, "I'm sure everything is fine."

Just as I was about to tell him he was probably right, my cell phone rang. It was mom. She was frantic. She told us to come back to the restaurant. Aaron's dad had had a heart attack and was being rushed to the ER. I told her we were heading right back, closed my cell phone, and with tears in my eyes I looked up at Aaron.

"I'm so sorry," I said to him. "We have to go back to the restaurant. Your dad....your dad he had a heart attack," I managed to choke out.

I saw a look of utter horror in his eyes. We turned and started running back to the restaurant. When we reached it, they were taking his dad in a stretcher and heading for the ambulance. My mom had her arms around Aaron's mom. Aaron ran up to his mom and enveloped her in a hug.

They had to get to the hospital and only one person could ride with him. Aaron's mom was not in the best state, so he got in the ambulance with his dad. Right before he climbed in, he leaned in kissed me, and whispered, "I love you. Please take care of my mom."

After the ambulance left, my parents, Aaron's mom, and myself headed to the hospital. I sat in the back with her and she held my hand the entire ride.

"A. He is so lucky to have you. My son could not have picked a better woman to have in his life," she said in between sobs.

We got to the hospital and it seemed that no one knew where his dad was. It took us almost 20 minutes to find someone who could point us in the right direction. Finally we were making our way through a long corridor to where we would be made to sit and wait.

After what seemed like hours, Aaron emerged from behind doors. He had tears in his eyes, and I thought the worst.

"He's going to be okay. The doctor said it was just a mild heart attack."

He walked towards his mom and she fell apart in his arms. Sobbing and thanking God at the same time. Once Aaron took her back to the room they had his dad in, he came back out and looked like he had aged 10 years. He looked tired and worn out.

I stood up as I saw him walk out and he immediately walked towards me. He put his arms around me, leaned his head on my shoulder and cried. I had never seen him cry, but I was glad he was crying out of relief and not out of grief.

My parents left about an hour later, and Aaron and I stayed behind. His mom spent the night in the room with his dad, and we slept in the waiting room. Aaron wanted to be there when his dad woke up. The next morning, we were woken up by a nurse telling us we could go in and see him. At hearing that, Aaron tensed up.

"What's wrong?," I asked him.

"I know I was with him yesterday. But last night that was the adrenalin getting me through it. I am afraid to see him A. He looked so weak. My dad is a big strong man. Seeing him like this makes me realize he could leave me at any minute."

I grabbed his hand in mine, and said, "It is because we don't know what could happen from one minute to the next that we need to treasure the minutes we do get."

He stood up, grabbed my hand and headed for the room. His dad was awake and ready for company by the time we walked in. He was full of jokes. Complaining he needed real food not jello, and saying the hospital gown was just not his color.

We spent the rest of the day in the hospital with his dad. We even ate the jello with him and towards the end of the evening we were all through thinking about the tragedy that could have been, but instead grateful for what we still had.