What to think

It had been a couple days since the talk between Meg and I. I wasn't sure what I was suppouse to be feeling after that. Part of me felt that I should be understanding and try to be the bigger person. The other part of me, knew that I had been the bigger person way too many times in the past. I knew that I had allowed myself to be stepped on one too many times. I decided that what I could do was be civilized. I could be nice to her when I saw her out and still not have to feign a friendship.

I was happpy to have school and work to concentrate on. And little did I know I would soon have another distraction to keep my mind of everything. I was on my way home when I got a call from Aaron. He wanted me to meet him at my apartment. I figured we were up to our usual for a thursday night, chinese and movies.

When I got to my place I noticed he had already let himself in. I walked in dropped off my bag and called out his name. I saw him walk out of the kitchen and I started walking towards him.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked me.

"To the kitchen to see if you needed any help," I said.

He turned me around and pushed me towards the bathroom. "You have been super stressed since your little run in with Meg, and it stops today," he said as he ushered me into the bathroom.

When I walked in I noticed all the candles in my bathroom lit. They were the only light in the room. The bathtub was filled and almost overflowing with bubble bath. Next to the tub was a celebrity gossip mag and my bathrobe.

"You are going to take a bubble bath and relax. I am making orange chicken and I brought over a season of the 'West Wing'."

Not only was the idea of a bath great, but I had our favorite show to look forward to. He left me in the room and I slowly undressed and made my way into the tub. The water was perfect. I laid my head back, closed my eyes.

I was finally relaxed enough and ready to join Aaron in the living room. As I was walking in I heard him on the phone. "Of course she won't find out.......yeah.....I miss it too."

My heart stopped. Who could he be talking to? I cleared my throat to let him know I was in the room. He quickly said goodbye and turned to face me.

"A! I didn't hear you come out of the bathroom."

Coming Soon

I just wanted to let everyone know I finally have Internet and work is finally to calm down a little. I have a block of time set aside for wed. to do some writing. Thanks to those who still read it. It's something I write for myself and its nice to know other people have found some entertainment out of it.

Love,
A.

just a little longer

I hope everyone will be patient just a little longer. I just recently moved and do not have Internet up and running yet. I am at a Starbucks right now..hehe. I hope to have everything up and running by next week. I am so sorry for the lack of posts. With being sick, starting this new job, and moving it has been crazy. By this time next week everything will be back to normal. I am hoping I can get a post up, after work tomorrow but forgive me if I can't make it. I hope everyone keeps reading, and thanks a million for everyone's patience.

Love,
A.

Moving on

***I just wanted to let everyone know that this past week has been insane. I just started my job, and as a new attorney it is overwhelming. I move to another state on Saturday and have been training this whole week. I wake up, go to work, come home and pack, and finally to bed. I have also had a horrible cold and high fever to top it all off. I wanted to at least post something this week.***



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As Meg and I sat in silence, I couldn't help but let my mind wander. I wasn't sure why she was here, or what she wanted. I figured I had given her many chances, now I would sit and wait for her to make the first move.



"I don't even know where to start," she muttered.



I sat there without saying a word. For the first time I felt angry. I mean I was angry before, but not like this. Before I would be angry, but always felt that I could give her another chance. This time I wasn't to sure.



"I guess the first thing I should do is apologize," I tried to interrupt her to say it wasn't really worth it anymore, but she held her hand up to stop me, so I let her keep going.



"I know an apology isn't worth much , but I figured an explanation is the least that you deserve after all I have put you through."



"I guess an explanation couldn't really make things any worse," I replied.



I sat there in shock as the words came out of Meg's mouth. After what seemed like hours she was finally done with the whole story. I didn't know what to think. What I found out was that back when Pat and I were dating, Meg found out her parents were having issues. These weren't normal issues. Her mom found out her dad was having an affair. Meg was upset and wanted nothing to do with her dad, but her mom decided to look the other way.



Meg was angry and hurt and wanted someone to feel her pain. She did not lash out at her parents because she felt they were feeling enough. Instead she lashed out at me. She slept with Pat and broke my heart instead. She became what she was so busy hating in her own life, she became the other woman. This became a pattern for her. She would feel angry at her parents and take it out on me. Why on me, this I did not understand.



Her mom, still to this day, looks the other way when it comes to her husband's affair. Meg to this day this had not lashed out at her parents.

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I will try to finish this tomorrow. I can barely get out of bed, and I am hoping to feel better soon.

So Sick

Hey everyone,

Sorry for the lack of posts this week. I am sooo sick. I have been dealing with a cold that seems to get worse and worse. I start work on Monday, so I wanted to really rest up this weekend. I might get around to a post this weekend. For sure there will be a post on Sunday.

Love,
A.

Time to Party

The last couple of weeks have been crazy. We have spent most of our time with Aaron and his parents. But his dad is up and about and even asking for steak and wine...haha.

Now that things are finally returning to normal, Emma wanted to throw that engagement party for us. Aaron and I were so excited to get some celebrating time in. We hadn't really had a chance to celebrate with friends, so this was something we were definitely looking forward to.

We both got ready at my apartment and headed out. I wanted to make sure I took my time getting ready. I figured there would be lots of picture being taken with various friends, so why not look cute..hehe. I went with a brown strapless dress that had the cutest diamond broach and satin trim at the waist line. It was adorable, and looked amazing with my satin brown heels. Aaron looked good enough to eat. He had on khaki dress pants and a striped button down shirt. I just love him in those button downs.

When we got to Emma's place the place was already packed. We were having so much fun. Emma had taken the time to make picture boards of pictures of both Aaron and I growing up, and as a couple. I was so touched that she had gone through so much trouble. People were making toasts and sharing funny stories. The wine was flowing and everyone seemed to be having a great time.

I was raising my glass of wine when Emma came over to me. She asked if she could talk to me, and I have to admit the tone in her voice kind of made me worry.

"So?," she asked. "Are you guys having a good time A.?"

"The best Emm.", I said leaning in to her to give her a hug. "Thanks so much for doing this."

"I love you, it's my pleasure. But...don't get mad at me okay. But I kinda invited Meg. And, she kinda brought Pat with her," she said and closed her eyes bracing herself for what she assumed would be a horrible reaction on my part.

"It's okay," I said. "I know the problem is between Meg and me. It has nothing to do with you. I won't lie and say I wish she wouldn't be here, but whatever she's here now and I am having to good of a time to let her ruin it for me."

I went back to Aaron and continued to enjoy myself. I saw Meg out of the corner of my eye, but I was determined not to let her ruin it for me. She had ruined enough. Yet, in the back of my mind I couldn't help but want to run up to her and fill her in on everything that had been going on in my life. I wanted to show her my ring and have her squeal in excitement with me. I wanted her to want to help me plan my dream wedding.

I was in the middle of a group of girls, with my hand extended out as they all squealed over my ring and asked how Aaron had proposed, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and came face to face with Meg.

"Can we talk?," she asked.

I wasn't really sure what to do. I looked over to where Aaron was and noticed him looking at me. He was ready to head over to me, but I held up my hand to him to stop him. I nodded my head and excused myself from the group. Meg and I walked in silence until we reached Emma's bedroom.

Life is unpredictable

There I was in my own little world. Enjoying walking hand in hand with the man I loved. Knowing that we were going to start our lives together and that we had the blessing of our families. Everything was perfect. Everything was perfect until we saw an ambulance fly by. We turned to see where it was going and noticed it stopped at the restaurant we had just left. Both our parents were still there, and of course sometimes you can't help but think the worst.

Aaron squeezed my hand, and said, "I'm sure everything is fine."

Just as I was about to tell him he was probably right, my cell phone rang. It was mom. She was frantic. She told us to come back to the restaurant. Aaron's dad had had a heart attack and was being rushed to the ER. I told her we were heading right back, closed my cell phone, and with tears in my eyes I looked up at Aaron.

"I'm so sorry," I said to him. "We have to go back to the restaurant. Your dad....your dad he had a heart attack," I managed to choke out.

I saw a look of utter horror in his eyes. We turned and started running back to the restaurant. When we reached it, they were taking his dad in a stretcher and heading for the ambulance. My mom had her arms around Aaron's mom. Aaron ran up to his mom and enveloped her in a hug.

They had to get to the hospital and only one person could ride with him. Aaron's mom was not in the best state, so he got in the ambulance with his dad. Right before he climbed in, he leaned in kissed me, and whispered, "I love you. Please take care of my mom."

After the ambulance left, my parents, Aaron's mom, and myself headed to the hospital. I sat in the back with her and she held my hand the entire ride.

"A. He is so lucky to have you. My son could not have picked a better woman to have in his life," she said in between sobs.

We got to the hospital and it seemed that no one knew where his dad was. It took us almost 20 minutes to find someone who could point us in the right direction. Finally we were making our way through a long corridor to where we would be made to sit and wait.

After what seemed like hours, Aaron emerged from behind doors. He had tears in his eyes, and I thought the worst.

"He's going to be okay. The doctor said it was just a mild heart attack."

He walked towards his mom and she fell apart in his arms. Sobbing and thanking God at the same time. Once Aaron took her back to the room they had his dad in, he came back out and looked like he had aged 10 years. He looked tired and worn out.

I stood up as I saw him walk out and he immediately walked towards me. He put his arms around me, leaned his head on my shoulder and cried. I had never seen him cry, but I was glad he was crying out of relief and not out of grief.

My parents left about an hour later, and Aaron and I stayed behind. His mom spent the night in the room with his dad, and we slept in the waiting room. Aaron wanted to be there when his dad woke up. The next morning, we were woken up by a nurse telling us we could go in and see him. At hearing that, Aaron tensed up.

"What's wrong?," I asked him.

"I know I was with him yesterday. But last night that was the adrenalin getting me through it. I am afraid to see him A. He looked so weak. My dad is a big strong man. Seeing him like this makes me realize he could leave me at any minute."

I grabbed his hand in mine, and said, "It is because we don't know what could happen from one minute to the next that we need to treasure the minutes we do get."

He stood up, grabbed my hand and headed for the room. His dad was awake and ready for company by the time we walked in. He was full of jokes. Complaining he needed real food not jello, and saying the hospital gown was just not his color.

We spent the rest of the day in the hospital with his dad. We even ate the jello with him and towards the end of the evening we were all through thinking about the tragedy that could have been, but instead grateful for what we still had.

So sorry

Hey everyone,

I am so sorry for the lack of post this past week. Thing here have been CRAZY. I will hopefully have time to write tomorrow, since I have so much to catch everyone up on.

I have to share my news with everyone because I am super excited. I got my first attorney job!!! I have been busy working out the details and making plans to move across the state in about two weeks.

I will be back tomorrow if not saturday for sure with a couple of posts. I just wanted to share my news with everyone so you guys would know why I have been MIA.

Love,
A.

Spreading the News

Dinner with the parents was great. We had agreed on Saturday night for dinner, and our parents were meeting us at the restaurant. When we arrived both our parents were already there. Did I mention, this was the first time they were actually meeting? Well, yeah, I was a little nervous to say the least.

Much to my amusement, our parents where chatting away like old friends by the time we arrived. They had both apparently gotten there super early and ran into each other at the bar. Aaron's mom actually went up to my mom to ask her if they were my parents, apparently my mom and I look identical. Anyways, once they introduced themselves and they started chatting both dads found a common love of bourbon. By the time we got there they had a couple drinks in them and happy as can be.

We hugged everyone, chatted a bit, and soon we were ordering. Half way through the meal I felt Aaron's hand on my leg. He gave me a look that said, "I think it's time to tell them." I took the lead and cleared my throat before I began to talk. I had kept my hand concealed most of the night so they hadn't seen the ring. Or perhaps, they had and were waiting for us to say something (which I think is the more likely one).

"Mom, dad, 'Aaron's parents'. We have something we want to tell you guys. We...," before I could get anything else out Aaron grabbed my hand raised it up from under the table and with a huge grin on his blurted out, "I asked her to marry me and she said 'yes'".

The mom's started to tear up. My mom immediately got up and came over to me to hug me and whimpered something about her little girl growing up. My dad shook Aaron's hand and then pulled him into a hug. His mom came over and hugged me so tight I thought I would stop breathing, and his dad enveloped me along with his mom into a hug.

When everyone finally returned to their seats, Aaron's dad called the waiter over and ordered champagne for everyone in the restaurant. He stood up and proudly declared, "My son is getting married!" My dad not wanting to feel left out, also stood out and yelled out, "To my daughter!" The restaurant exploded into laughter and applause, and I could feel my face growing hot.

The rest of dinner went by without any cheering or buying rounds of drinks for the restaurant. The mom's were full of questions. When? Where? Colors? Church? I laughed because we had not had enough time to discuss all these things, but we did tell them that we were waiting until we graduated and took the bar exam. Our parents were so proud at that moment they were beaming.

We finished dinner had more wine to celebrate and finally said goodnight to our parents. We went home, walking hand in hand. I was completely content with my life. I let out a sigh of relief and for a moment everything felt perfect. Too bad the moment was short lived.

I feel different

I woke up the next morning still in Aaron's arms. I couldn't help but smile as I lay there staring at him. He eventually woke up and gave me an odd look.

"What are you doing?", he asked.

"Looking at you," I said.

"I realize that, it's kinda scaring me A.," he said with a chuckle.

I threw my pillow at him and stuck my tongue out. We eventually made it out of bed and ordered room service for breakfast. It was delicious. He must have really worn me out last night, because I was starving this morning. While we were eating we started talking about our wedding. We decided that we should probably tell our parents soon, and we also decided that we were going to wait until May of 2008. I know its a long engagement, but we both still have this last year of law school. Plus we will both have to study for the bar exam after graduation and find jobs. This way it gave us something to look forward too, planning our wedding after the bar.

After breakfast I was giddy after all the wedding talk. We both had no classes today, so we decided to take the rest of the day to just spend time together. I couldn't help but look down at my hand every couple minutes and smile at the thought that I would be his wife soon.

We decided to head to the video store to pick up a couple movies for that evening. We were browsing and had a couple movies in hand already, when we heard Emma's voice. We both turned around and saw her making a bee line straight for us.

We did the normal chit chat and as I was promising to call her to set up dinner she saw my ring. She grabbed my hand and yanked it towards her. "Oh my God!," she exclaimed. "You guys are getting married?!?!," she yelled out and pulled me towards her for a hug.

"Sorry, I didn't mention it," I sheepishly said. "We were waiting to tell our parents first."

"Oh my God! I am soooo happy for you guys. As soon as you guys tell your parents you have to let me throw you an engagement party."

"Em, that would be amazing and so sweet," I said. And Aaron agreed.

She finally let go of me, and we said bye and promised to do dinner next week. Everything had been so hectic lately that I had not seen her in forever. We rented our movies and headed to his apartment. We ordered Chinese and opened up a bottle of wine.

The next day after class we had agreed that we would call our parents and invite them up for dinner this weekend. It would be great to be able tell them both together. So I called my parents and asked them if they could make it up for the weekend. They agreed, but they kept asking me why. I knew they were suspicious of something. Aaron's parents also agreed to come up. We made reservations at our favorite restaurant and sat with anticipation for the weekend to come.

It starts at my toes

We pulled up in front of one of the nicest hotels downtown. Once again he came around my side of the car and led me out. He had apparently already checked in because we went straight for the elevator.

We had the suite. A gorgeous room decorated all in creams with a huge king sized bed. The room was filled with candles and roses, red and yellow ones. I held my breath when I first entered the room. I was holding Aaron's hand, and at the sight of the room I squeezed his hand tighter.

He swept me up in his arms and kissed me. He slowly walked over to the bed, kissing me slow tender kisses all the way there. He laid me down slowly and leaned over me.

"I love you," he said and I could feel a tear roll down my cheek.

"I love you," I told him.

He leaned down and kissed me. Slow and tender at first, but his kisses grew more hungry with every passing second. He had already taken his coat off, so he pulled on his tie and then started fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. I bit my lip at the sight of this man above me, and reached my hand out to touch his face. All I could see was his face lit by the candles. Once his tie was off and buttons were undone, I pulled his shirt down his arms. I caught my breath again when I saw his perfect body underneath his shirt.

Once his shirt was off and i had a perfect view of his beautiful body, he flipped me over to have me on top of him. I made my way off the bed and stood at the foot of the bed. I reached behind me and pulled the zipper of my dress down. I let it slip off my body and hit the floor. I stepped out my dress and I could feel his eyes on my body.

I pulled him up and began pulling on his belt. I finally managed to unzip his pants and he let them drop. I grabbed his boxer-briefs and pulled them down. I went down with the boxers and began planting tiny kisses on him. I started at his ankels and kissed my way up his thigh. Kissed his waist and up his stomach. I felt him shiver as I moved from thigh to waist.

"You're killing me A.," he groaned.

He pulled me close to him and in one swift motion unhinged my bra. He kissed his way down my neck, down the middle of my chest, and stopped at my belly button pulling my bottoms down. Once we were both standing there completely vulnerable, he pulled me back to the bed and leaned over me once more.

I could feel his body on mine. His body was long and hard against me as he pulled me close, his muscles were tight, and I shivered a little because it was him. I played my fingers over his chest, and heard him suck his breath in. I smiled and began to say something, "You know," but he kissed me and I forgot what I was about to say and just lost myself in the weight and the heat of him. I could feel my breathing quicken as I wrapped myself around him and felt hard muscle press into soft flesh.

I kissed his cheek and then his mouth again, gently, again and again, as I began to move against him, with him. Each time taking him in deeper, rocking slowly so I could feel him inside, giving him all of me. Giving him all of me because it was him, because it was going to be him from now on. I knew that I knew that since the first time I saw him. I knew that this was the beginning.

A thank you

Thanks so much ladies for all the kind words. This is the first thing I have ever written so it feels amazing to have people read it and actually enjoy it.


Love, A.

Can I have this dance?

After Aaron picked me up he would not tell me where we were going, nor what the plans were for the evening. The entire drive to wherever we were going he had on a huge smile and one hand on my hand.

When we finally got to where we going I was told to close my eyes. I said I would, but apparently my word was not good enough because he decided he had to blind fold me until we made it inside. Once he had the blind fold on me, he proceeded to kiss from my earlobe down my neck. I had never been blindfolded before, and I have to say that it intensified the sensations I was feeling.

I heard him laugh a deep throaty laugh, and then I heard the car door open and close. Soon he was on my side holding the door open and guiding me out of the car. I was so excited I could barely stand it. I swear I was even trembling a little every time I felt his touch. Once we were inside, he walked behind me and took the blind fold off. We were at one of my favorite restaurants. It's a pasta bar with an extremely romantic atmosphere. Candles everywhere. This time there was something different about it. It was empty. We were the only patrons at the restaurant. This was odd because this place is usually extremely busy.

He must have noticed the confused look on my face, because he felt the need to explain to me why it was we were alone.

"I kinda had the place closed for tonight," he said running a hand through his hair. You see, him and his family are very, very, very well off. So, yes as odd as it sounds he can afford to do something like that.

"Oh Aaron," I said and leaned in for a kiss.

Our kiss was interrupted by a waiter coming up to us to show us to our table. The table was beautiful. Candles everywhere. The only lights in the restaurant seemed to be coming from candles. We were seated and a bottle of white wine was brought over.

We had dinner and finished our wine. After dinner, we were sitting there enjoying another bottle of wine when Aaron stood up and came around the table to me.

He reached out his hand to me and said, "Can I have this dance?"

"Dance?", I asked. "But there's no music playing." As I was saying that a song started playing over the loudspeaker. It was our song. "Can't help falling in love", the version sung by Michael Bubble.

"I would love to dance," I said and let him lead me towards the center of the restaurant.

As we were dancing he began to talk. "A., I thank God everyday that I went to London. I thank God everyday that he allowed me to meet you. But most of all, I thank God for allowing you stay in my life."

"Aaron," was all I could manage. At this point I was all ears. I knew something big was going to happen. Why else would he do all this?

"I am so grateful to have you in my life. I want to go to sleep with you in my arms, and wake up to see your beautiful face. I want to grow old and experience life with you. I want to have children with you and watch them grow with you."

At this point I was crying. The tears were flowing and I could not make out any words. He stopped dancing, pulled apart from me, and got down on one knee. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a blue velvet box. He opened it, held it out to me, and said, "A. would you spend the rest of forever with me?"

I was speechless. He was all I have ever wanted in a man. He was my Mr. Right. The last year and three months had been beyond amazing. And the thought of waking up in his arms every morning brought a smile to my face. I finally got out of my own head, to finally respond.

"Yes, yes...a million times yes," I said. And then I started to laugh. I had just quoted a movie. Leave it to me to quote a movie at a time like this. Thank God he didn't notice.

He took the ring out and slipped on my finger, I went down on my knees and hugged him. In between sobs I managed to kiss him and tell him how much I loved him.

"Aaron, I love you so much! I can't wait to start the rest of my life with you."

We eventually made it out of the restaurant, but not before finishing our dance. When we were back in the car I kept staring at the ring on my hand, he reached for my hand held up to kiss it and said, "I have another surprise for you."

"I don't know what could make this night any better?", I said.

A little note

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone reading and leaving comments. I enjoy every single one of them. I love hearing what you guys think. If you every have any questions for me, or want more details as to certain entries feel free to shoot the questions my way.

Love you guys and thanks for reading.

Love,
A.

Life goes on

Summer had come and gone. September was now here and in full swing. It was the start of my favorite season, fall. Things had been going really well lately. J. and I had been talking and hanging out like old times. I had even met his new girlfriend and she seemed great for him. She might actually be the one for him. J. and Aaron have even been getting a long great.

I was on my way home from class when my cell phone rang. It was Aaron.

"Hey handsome," I said into the phone as a smile appeared on my face.

"Hey sexy," he replied. "Are you home yet?," he asked.

"Just about," I said. We kept chatting until I got home at which point I told him I was finally home.

"There is a box in front of your door. Once you get to it and see what's inside call me back."

I didn't even have a chance to asked him what he was talking about because he hung up. Confused and a little curious, I rushed to my front door and sure enough there was a box with a red bow on it. But that wasn't it. Next to it was a vase with a dozen red roses and a yellow one in the middle. I picked everything up and smiled. I walked into my apartment and set everything down.

Now to see what was in the box. I untied the ribbon and lifted the top of the box off. Inside was a gorgeous red strapless dress. I held it out and admired it. Red satin. It was gorgeoud. There was also a black velvet box. Inside that box was a diamond tennis bracelet. I could not believe my eyes.

I quickly dug around my purse for my cell phone and called Aaron back. "What is all this about?," I asked him.

"Change into the dress, make sure you wear your new bracelet and I will be over there to pick you up in two hours," he said and hung up again.

I was not going to question it. I did what I was told. But I must admit I was getting a little upset by the constant hanging up on me.

I took a nice long shower and made sure my legs were super smooth. I put that killer red dress on, and made sure I had some killer lingerie underneath. I went with a strapless black lacy bra and the matching lacy boy shorts. To finish the look off I pair it with my black stilettos. I knew how much he loved my hair down, so I curled it and left it down.

I was ready to go and a little nervous too. I was sitting there fidgeting when I heard the door. I walked up and opened it, and I could not believe my eyes. Standing before me was Aaron standing with a suit and tie on. He looked good enough to eat. I licked my lips at the sight of him. He had another dozen roses in his hands. He leaned down, wrapped me up in his arms and kissed me deeply and passionately. I really thought my knees were going to buckle. He let go of me, and looked me up and down.

"My God A., you look gorgeous. So, did you like your gifts?," he asked shyly.

"I loved them," I said. "But was is this for?"

"Come on," he led by the hand out of my apartment shutting the door behind us. "I've got plans for us tonight."

Here we go

My heart stopped when I heard Meg's voice. The thing is, I am horrible with confrontations. When I get really upset I tend to cry, and I think this usually makes me look weak to the other person. The last thing I wanted was for her to think that she could make me cry.

J. must have felt how tense I got, because I felt his hold on my hands become tighter. I smiled at him, hoping he knew it was my way of saying thanks. when I looked up, I finally met eyes with her. She was standing there with a smile on her face. A smile of all things! I wasn't sure how to react to her.

Meg calmly walked up to the table, looked down at us, and said, "It's princess perfect and her little puppy dog."

Her voice was so cold I could barely recognize it. Who was this girl standing before me? How could this be the same girl I have known and called my best friend for years? I was stunned and realized neither J. nor I had said anything to her.

Finally J. stood up, and said, "Just leave Meg, I think you've done enough."

"Let's recap," she said with contempt in her voice. "First, she dates you. Dumps you. Starts sleeping with Aaron two days after you two break up. Flaunts him in front of you. And now she has you defending her honor." She started to laugh and called J. pathetic.

That was it. I've had enough and I was not going to let her talk to J. like this.

"Meg!," I said louder then I was expecting, which caused her to turn and look at me. "That's enough. That's enough of everything. I get it, you have problems with me. You see me as this horrible person, and you've clearly tried to teach me some messed up lessons lately. Congrats, you got Pat, but I had him first. Congrats you wanted J., but he turned you down. Congrats on going out of your way to teach me a lesson. To hurt me for things that I had no control over. Congratulations on ruining a friendship with someone that would be willing to do anything for you. But now, you are just being a vindictive bitch and I am done with this. Sleep with whomever of my exes that you want. If sloppy seconds are your thing, go for it! But leave me, J., and Aaron the hell alone you psychotic bitch,"

I was amazed at myself. I did not cry. I had stayed calm and finally spoken my mind. I grabbed my purse turned and walked away. As I was walking away, I heard J. say, "you crazy bitch!" Soon he was right besides me with his arm around my shoulders.

"You did great A.!", he said with a smile.

"Thanks," I said. "But I don't feel great about any of this." I hated what had just happened. I knew that Meg wasn't a real friend. A real friend would not do what she did to me. i knew that the best thing to do was to move on and be happy for the people who did care about me. I was happy to have J. back in my life, and I knew that things would be better now.

A call and a cup of coffee

We had been back from our wonderful cabin getaway for a couple days now, and I had been busy with work. It was a Thursday afternoon and I was on my way out of the office for the day. As I was heading out the door I noticed I had several missed calls and a new voicemail. They were all from J. I had not talked to him at all since that awkward meeting at my parents house, and really had no idea why he would be calling me.

I pressed the button to get to my voicemail and punched in my password. "You have one new message. 'A. Hey, it's me J. Well I guess you figured that part out already (uncomfortable laughter). I need to talk to you. Its important. There are some things you need to know. I know your first instinct will be to delete this message and ignore me. Trust me, I know I deserve it. This isn't about me. There are just some things you need to know. Please call me back."


I stared at my phone for a long while contemplating what I should do. He sounded genuine, and we all know me and giving second, third, fourth, or eight chances to people. I called him back and we agreed to meet for coffee.


I made my way over to the coffee shop near my apartment. When I walked in he was already there sitting on one of the couches in the corner. I ordered my drink and make my way over to him. The minute I sat down he started to talk.


"A. I don't even know how to tell you this. Part of me doesn't want to tell you because I don't want to see you hurt. But the smarter part of me knows its the right thing to do."

"Hi to you too J. And what are you talking about? You really are making no sense?"

"A. I know that I have not been the best of friends lately. And I know you were mad that I knew about Aaron. But the truth is I am happy for you. We never worked as anything more then friends and I should have realized that. I love you like a sister and still think of you as the best friend I could have. Which is why I have to tell you this."

"Seriously J. You are drawing this out, just tell me what it is you have to say. But before you do, I want you to know that I am happy to hear you say all this. I've never wanted to loose your friendship. I miss you so much." I stood up and went to sit next to him to give him a hug. Once I was done with my hug I finally realized just what a serious look he had on his face.

He took a long drink from his cup, looked up at me and reached his hands out to me. I let him take my hands in his. I was starting to feel a little afraid as to what he would be saying.

"A.," he said with my hands still in his hands. "When Meg came back from London she came over to my place the day after she had been back. She said she needed to talk. At first I really did think she was trying to be a friend by telling me about Aaron. I wasn't angry at all...because...well, we had ended on a good note and I had realized that you were better for me as a friend then anything else. She did not accept that I was okay with it. She went on and on and on, until I was starting to get mad. She was making me feel like I was an idiot and you were stepping all over me."

I sat there and took it all in. I didn't interrupt. He took another long drink, ran his hand through his hair and continued.

"By the time she left I was mad. That is why I went to your place that day when you first came back home. She kept calling me and talking to me about everything. I thought she was being a friend. It's because of all those phone conversations with her that I was still so angry at you when you saw me Christmas Eve. It was not until I saw you with him, and I realized that I wasn't angry at you. I was happy for you."

"New Year's eve, pretty early in the day, Meg came over. She was so angry when I told her I was going to talk to you and apologize. After she finally calmed down she tried to kiss me. I pushed her away and she apologized profusely. But she tried it again. When I still refused to kiss her, she started acting like her normal self again. She acted like nothing had happened and just started a conversation. It eventually led to her asking me if I had kept in contact with Pat. When I told her I was going to be seeing him that night she invited herself along. It wasn't until I saw her throw herself at him that night did I realize what she was doing. "

I sat there stunned that Meg could be so calculating. I was more confused as to why she would want to do this to me. I had been nothing but a friend to her. I have dropped things and gone to her more times then I can count. I was about to open my mouth to respond to what J. had just told me, when I heard her voice.

Full of Surprises

As I walked out of the bedroom looking for Aaron I could hear noise coming from the kitchen. I walked in and found the table all set and waiting. There was a vase in the middle of the table with a red rose and a yellow one. He was standing in front of the stove with a spatula in hand.

I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around him. He turned to face me, leaned down to kiss me and whispered, "good morning", as he kissed down my neck.

I walked over to the table and picked up the vase and brought them up to my nose to smell them. "Mmmmm," I said with my eyes closed, "they smell wonderful,"

He walked up behind me and wrapped me up in his arms. "Red is because you're my lover and yellow is because you are my best friend," he said as he had me in his arms.

We eventually got to the wonderful breakfast he had prepared for us. Everything was delicious. The man can cook is all I can say. After breakfast we were going to shower and head into town and go browsing in the little shops.

We were planning on leaving right after breakfast, but as soon as I saw him start to get undressed for his shower I knew I had to have my way with him first. I let him get in the shower, and then I undressed and made my way in. I could tell he was not expecting me when I appeared behind him, but I could also tell he was happy I was in there.

I grabbed the loofah and poured some body wash on it. I slowly began to wash his shoulders. Then his arms. I started as his shoulder and moved my way down his arms. As I was making my way a little further south, he could take it no more and his lips met mine.

His kisses were passionate and hungry for more. His hands were roaming my back and pulling me towards him. He was kissing my neck and nibbling it in between kisses. I could feel his back muscles and I could not take it anymore. As he was running his tongue down my neck, I leaned into him and whispered breathlessly, "Make love to me Aaron,"

He pulled his head away to look me in the eyes and smiled that crooked smile of his. He grabbed my butt and lifted me off the shower floor. With my legs wrapped around his waist and my back against the shower wall I could feel his body in mine.

It's moments like this, when he has me wrapped up completely in him that I realize just how small I feel in his arms. Small in a way that makes me feel safe and protected when I'm his arms. We eventually did make it out of the shower and finally headed into town, both with big smiles plastered on our faces.

We had stopped at an ice cream shop after a couple hours of browsing. We were standing there waiting for our ice cream when a family came in with two little children. The kids looked to be about 3 and 5. As they were excitedly trying to point out what they each wanted, Aaron who was standing behind me with his arms around my waist, leaned in and said, "can you imagine a little one of our own running around like that?".

I could feel a huge smile on my face as I told him that I could. I really could. I could picture spending the rest of my life with this man. Everyday that goes by I smile at the thought of how we met. Of the idea that we had to travel across the ocean to finally meet. I smile at the thought that I might have actually found the one for me.

New Sensations

When I finally made it home I realized that I really couldn't pack. I had no idea where we were going. What was I suppose to pack, comfy lounging around type of clothes or fancy going out clothes? With this dilemma I called Aaron. He realized he had to tell me in order for me to pack appropriately.

He had actually talked to my dad and gotten the family cabin for the weekend. Since the cabin is at least a five hour drive for us, and only an hour drive for my dad he had gotten my dad to help him with some stuff. My dad had made sure everything was turned on and ready to be used for when we got there. I was ecstatic. Not only was I going to be spending the weekend with the man I love, it was our one year anniversary, and we were going to be in one of my favorite places in the world.

I packed and we headed to bed early that night since we were heading out pretty early the next morning. That next morning was our official anniversary. When I woke up I reached for Aaron, but he was no where to be found. I got up and headed towards the bathroom and realized the shower was running. I undressed and climbed in. He turned to face me when he realized I was in there with him and wrapped his arms around me. The shower was so sweet and tender. We washed each other off and kissed and held each other. Right before he shut the water off, he leaned into my ear and whispered, 'I love you A. i love you more and more each day''.

After our shower we grabbed our bags and headed to the cabin. The five hour drive passed pretty quickly. We played games and sang out loud to some pretty bad music. I had a blast just sitting in the car with him. When we finally got to the cabin we still had plenty of day light. The cabin is on a lake and we don't really have anyone near us. It was great to be in such a secluded place with it just being him and I.

Once we had our stuff inside we decided it would be great to get some swimming in. We both changed and headed out into the lake. We had been in the water for about a half hour when I got an idea in my head. I swam over to him and put my arms around him. I started kissing him and he was kissing me right back. I could feel his hands all over my body. I looked around and was satisfied that there was no one around, so I gave him a naughty little smile.

"What are you thinking?" he asked me with a grin.

"Oh nothing," I said as I reached down with one hand and pulled my bottoms off and held them out in front of him. We were near the dock so I threw them on there.

His grin only got bigger and I could feel the excitement in his body. "Well then he said," as he reached down and tugged on his trunks until they were off too and threw them on the dock as well.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and before I knew it we were making love right there in the lake. I had never done anything like this, and I have to say this new sensation was amazing. It was slow and passionate and our lips did not leave each other the entire time. When our bodies finally reached the point of no return I felt his head on my shoulder and I heard him say my name between groans.

We eventually made it out of the lake only to have him carry me into the cabin and into the bedroom. What happened I was not expecting. He just held me. He wrapped me up in his arms and held me.

The rest of that night was spent making dinner and laying in each other's arms. The following morning I woke up and again he was no where to be found.

"Not ready to make nice"

January turned to February. March came and April went. Before I knew it was June and summer was in full swing. I had not spoken to Meg since that night in my apartment. She had tried to call me, but I was just not ready yet. With school and work and other friends I had managed to keep myself busy. I would lie if I did not admit that I missed her. There had been so many times when I wanted to pick up the phone and fill her in on stuff, but I could not bring myself to do it yet.

Aaron and I were approaching our one year anniversary and I could not be happier. I knew he had something planned for us and would not fill me in as to what it was. All I knew was that I was suppose to clear the whole weekend for it. I was beyond ecstatic and was also so happy he was planning everything. It's always nice to have things planned for you.

I was out and about the day before we were suppose to leave getting some last minute things...travel shampoo, and stuff of that sort. I was rounding a corner at Target when I almost got run over by a cart. It was Pat. He was the last person I wanted to see right now.

"A.!," he seemed as surprised and as uncomfortable as I did.

"Hey," I said trying to sound as emotionless as possible.

Before I could tell him I was in a hurry he started what I think can only be described as word vomit. You know the feeling. You start talking and things that you really did not want to come out of your mouth do. You seem to not have any control over what comes out. "I'm so sorry for what happened. I know Meg is too. She is going crazy over this. You have to talk to her. I don't know what to do with her anymore. I keep telling her to talk to you, and she says..."

I stopped him mid-sentence when I realized he was talking as if he and Meg had been seeing each other. "Are you guys seeing each other?," I asked not sure if I wanted to hear the answer or not.

"Ummm....well not really seeing each other. She isn't my girlfriend if that is what you ask," he said making it sound like he was noble one here.

"God Pat, leave it to a gentleman to not date your ex's best friend but to sleep with her!"

"It's nothing serious A. It's not like it was with you. It's just sex!", he started to yell at me as I began to walk away.

I turned back to him and said, "I really don't care Pat. You deserve each other, just leave me out of your sick little world." And with that I walked away.

I walked away knowing that I really did care. I was hurt by two people that had meant a lot to me. I still had held hope that Meg really wasn't that callous. I've said it before, but I like to believe that people are inherently good. It takes a lot for someone to loose my friendship. At times I give people more then second chances, but I think even I had reached my breaking point. I knew all I could right now is go on with my life.

As I was walking out to my car, my cell phone rang. It was Meg. I hit the ignore button and headed home to pack.

To care or not to care

"Meg what is wrong? You are freaking me out. What are you sorry for?," I said to her. I wanted to know what was wrong and at the same time I was afraid of what she might say.

"A. i'm sorry, i'm so sorry," she said as she sobbed. She kept repeating that over and over again. I finally grabbed her shoulders and yelled out her name which appeared to snap her back into reality.

"I didn't mean it, I didn't mean for it to happen again."

"Meg, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Pat!," she yelled. "I slept with him!"

Before Aaron. Before J. There was Pat. Pat had been my boyfriend from my sophomore year of high school to my junior year of college. We had broken up because he had cheated. Meg had told me about the cheating and when I confronted him he admitted it. He would not tell me the name of the girl, but had sworn up and down that she meant nothing and that it was over with him. I could not handle the cheating. I was devastated and I had turned to Meg and J. for comfort.

Meg had gone on to say she had run into Pat at a bar tonight and had ended up going home with him. She also admitted that she had been the other girl. It was her who had revealed the cheating to me, and now I know she knew only because she had been the other girl. I had never questioned how it was she knew. I had always figured that she was only looking out for me. Hearing her tell me all this tonight felt like a knife going through my back. Who was this girl sitting before me? Who was this girl I had called my best friend for so many years?

I did not cry and I did not get mad and yell at her. I simply calmly asked her to leave. When I finally walked into the bedroom Aaron was already asleep. I changed into my PJ's and crawled under the covers.

"Is everything OK babe?." he asked me half-asleep.

"I don't know who she is anymore Aaron. I don't know who she is," I said to him as tears started flowing. I cried silently as he held me and I eventually fell asleep.

A New Year

The rest of the trip out to see my parents went by pretty smoothly. No more uncomfortable confrontations. We made our trip back and I left knowing that my parents were absolutely in love with Aaron.

I was having a party at my apartment for new year's and we had been busy planning and getting everything together for it.

We had all decided that it would be fun to dress up and make it a fancy party..haha. I was super excited for Aaron to see me in the dress I had bought for the party. I had decided to go all out and got a new dress and new shoes. The dress was hot if I do say so myself. It was a a black tea length dress with a down to there neckline. I was also trying to handle this ridiculous pair of black stilettos. In other words, I wanted to make him spend the entire night wanting me. I know, sounds evil. But I would so make it worth it to him at the end of the night.

Everything was ready. I had gone all out with appetizers and had been working all day preparing everything. It was so rewarding to sit back and see everything had panned out. Aaron was in the shower while I was getting ready. I made sure I was all dolled up before he got out of the shower.

I was in the living room with a glass of wine waiting for him and for people to start arriving. When he walked into the living room, I was the one doing the drooling. He looked amazing. He had on a pair of grey dress pants and a baby blue button down dress shirt. His blue eyes looked bluer then ever. As he walked towards me I caught a whiff of his cologne and I wanted him more then ever at that moment.

I stood up to give him a hug, when he stopped me. He was looking me up and down and had this smile on his face.

"My God, you look beyond beautiful. Can't we just call the whole thing off and I can take you back to the bedroom?", he asked with a little smirk on his face.

"Aaron!", I said to him. Pretending to be offended.

"I'm sorry. What was I thinking. I can take you right here, we don't need no stinking bedroom."

I walked up to him and gave him a kiss. Just as we were getting into our kisses there was a knock on the door. I leaned into him and whispered, "I'm so taking you later."

I eventually made it to the door and soon the apartment was full of people. The wine and beer was flowing and soon the shots began. Everyone was having a blast. The music was going and there was even people dancing.

Once it neared midnight I wanted to make sure I was right next to Aaron. As soon as I walked up to him he wrapped his arms around me. The room seemed to have gotten louder the closer we got to midnight.

"10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1....Happy New Year," everyone yelled.

Aaron enveloped me in a hug and I got lost in one of his amazing kisses. He still makes my knees buckle. After that kiss I could not wait to get him alone. The party continued and eventually the last of the people left around 3am.

I was closing the door as the last person left and making my way towards the hallway. When I reached the hallway, Aaron pushed me against the wall and kissed me another one of his kisses. I was lost in his kisses. He was now trailing my neck with kisses, while he reached down my body with his hand. He reached down and grabbed both my legs and wrapped them around him. He was reaching for his belt when there was a knock on the door.

"Ignore it," he whispered breathlessly into my ear. I was not going to complain so I did as I was told and ignored it. He had finally managed to unzip his pants and had moved my panties out of the way when the knocking on the door began again. This time it was accompanied by what I recognized as Meg yelling, "A.! I need to come in".

I could hear tears in her voice and knew I had to go let her in. Aaron groaned against my ear and set me back down. I fixed myself and told him to go wait in the bedroom and I would try and go see what was going on.

I ran towards the door and opened the door. As I flung the door open Meg stood there sobbing.

"I'm so sorry A.," she said. She kept saying that over and over again. I had no idea what she was talking about.

"Meg, what's going on? Why are you sorry?," I asked.

A Frosty Reception

Christmas time had come. Aaron and I were planning on heading to my parents house for Christmas and then back to the cities for New Year's. I was excited, yet nervous about him meeting my parents. I knew my parents would love him, but I still couldn't help but be a little nervous.

We got to my parents house on Christmas Eve. As were were pulling into the driveway my heart stopped. Among the many cars parked in the driveway I saw J.'s car. It had never crossed my mind that he would be there.

J. and I had known each other forever. Our parents were friends and his parents were usually included in the group of people that would come over to my parent's House for Christmas Eve. When Aaron put the car in park, I grabbed his hand and turned towards him.

"Aaron, J. is here. J. and his parents are here," I said to him.

"J. as in your ex J.?", he asked with a not-so-happy tone to his voice.

"Yeah. I completely forgot that him and his parents are always here for my parent's party. I haven't really talked to him lately so I had no idea. I guess I just assumed he wouldn't be here this year."

I told him it would be fine and we grabbed our bags and headed inside. As I was telling him that everything would be fine, I was secretly hoping everything would indeed be fine.

When we walked in my mom ran towards us and enveloped me in a hug. She turned to Aaron and with a big smile on her face said, "And you must be that wonderful young man that has my daughter smiling ear to ear." She hugged him and led us into the living room to introduce him to the rest of the family and friends.

When we walked in the first person I saw was J. He was talking to some people when he saw us walk in. He stopped mid-word. It's funny because as soon as Aaron saw him he seemed to be standing a little taller all of a sudden. Aaron isn't the possessive type, but as soon as he met eyes with J. he put his arm around me and pulled me towards him. It felt good to know he was letting J. know I was his.

We made the rounds with family and friends and everyone seemed to be loving Aaron. He is so good in social situations that it still amazes me. He can talk to anyone about anything. As he was talking to my dad about how he loved the fact that I was such a HUGE football fan, I made my way over to J. He had been standing in a corner with a scowl on his face.

"Hey," I said to him.

"So I see you brought pretty boy over to meet the family," he said with sarcasm in his voice.

"J., this is important to me. Him meeting my family its a big deal. I thought we had gotten over everything. I thought we were going to try and be normal and happy for each other."

I never understood why J. seemed so bothered with Aaron. When J. and I dated it wasn't for very long. He never really treated me as a girlfriend when we were dating, he still treated me as his buddy and nothing more. I knew from friends that the moment I left for London he was back out flirting and picking up girls again. I never really seemed to matter to him as nothing more then a friend. That is until now. Now he seems interested and now he seems hurt by my moving on and being happy.

I told him I didn't want to make a scene and I didn't want things to be awkward. I told him it was nice to see him and and his parents and I hope they have a good Christmas. I excused myself and made my way back to Aaron.

When I reached him, I wrapped my arms around him and joined in the conversation. I enjoyed the rest of the evening, even with the evil looks I was getting from J. and his mother. As I was helping my mom bring out some more food from the kitchen she looked at me and said, "A. he seems wonderful honey. The way he looks at you lets me know he loves you. The smile he gets on his face when you come near him. And the look on your face when you are near him. I am so happy for you honey."

It's was all I needed to hear. After that I did not give J. a second thought. I had fun. Aaron had fun. Meeting my parents went pretty good. The more I see him interact with my family the more I can see myself having him around for every Christmas for the rest of my life.

Hard work deserves a reward

Aaron and I had been working like crazy these past two weeks. After we came back from Thanksgiving break it was time to prepare for finals. We both had some pretty hard courses this semester, and we knew we had to put all we had into our studies.

It was now 4 o'clock on Thursday and we both had just taken our last final of the semester. I wanted to do something nice for Aaron since he had been spending so many nights in the law library lately. I told him I was going to head home and shower and that he should come over around 8ish.

I raced home and started working on things. I bought all his favorite food and was planning on making him dinner followed by dessert and then a little something special. I was able to get dinner in the oven and had the dessert all done in no time. I jumped in the shower and got myself ready. I had a pair of jeans that every time I wore them, they drove him wild. I threw those on and paired them with a v-neck sweater.

I finished up dinner and was setting the table when there was a knock on the door. As soon as I opened it I saw him standing there. Its been six months and I still get weak in the knees when I look at him. I wasn't even able to get a 'hello' out because he had me in his arms kissing me those makes-my-knees-buckle kisses of his.

He finally let go of me and we walked into the kitchen. We sat down and enjoyed dinner. Everything was going perfect. He was so impressed by everything and touched that I had put all his favorite foods in the meal. After dinner we moved over to the couch and had a slice of cherry pie while we watched a little TV.

I told him to sit and watch a little TV while I went to take care of something. I went into my bathroom, and thanked God I had a huge bathtub. I put candles all over the bathroom and filled the bathtub with bubble bath and hot water. On my way out I turned off the lights. The room was lit only by candlelight.

I headed to my room and pulled out a bag from Victoria's Secret I had been hiding in my closet. I pulled out the contents and smiled to myself. Inside was a satin white camisole and matching boy shorts. I changed into them and walked out of my room. As I walked towards my living room I was hitting every light on my way. When I reached the living room the only light available was from the TV.

As I stood in front of him I could see his jaw drop. "Oh my God you look gorgeous A.", he said as he reached for me. I took a step back. I reached for his hand and led him towards the bathroom.

When I finally opened the door and he was able to look inside, I was fluttering with nerves. He still makes me nervous. The thought of what's to come still makes my heart skip a beat and my stomach turn to butterflies.

I turned to him and stood on my tip toes to give him little kisses all along his jaw line. I could feel his hands wandering my body, and I shivered. I lowered my attention to his shirt and slowly started unbuttoning it, one by one. As I reached a new button I would plant little kisses on him. When I finally had that shirt off I pulled on his under shirt and he helped me pull it over his head.

I started at his lips and kissed my way down his chest. I reached and pulled on his belt and unbuttoned his jeans. Once I had those off I just stood and admired his body. At 6'2'', broad shouldered, and muscular arms he still makes me drool at just the sight of him. I led him towards the bathtub and he slipped out of his boxers.

Once he was sitting, I reached and undid my bra and slipped out of my bottoms. I slid in with him and turned to face him. I had my legs wrapped around him. His hands were roaming my body and I was enjoying it every bit of it.

We stayed in the bathtub for at least an hour. He got out and put a towel around his waist. He then grabbed another towel wrapped it around me and picked me up in his arms. He carried me over to the bedroom and laid me down. We made love the rest of the night. I laid in his arms the rest of the night. I was in heaven for the rest of the night.

The trip

Time started to fly by as my second year arrived. With the issues with Meg and the new relationship with Aaron my time had been filling up fast. Not to mention a new job as a law clerk and a full time class load.

Before I knew it November had come and it was time for Thanksgiving break. A couple days before Thanksgiving Aaron and I were laying on my couch watching a movie with a bowl of popcorn, when he suddenly said, "you should come home with me for Thanksgiving."

We had been dating for almost 6 months and things had been going better then I could have imagined. I had met his friends and he had met mine. But we had not met each other's parents yet. I knew it would be inevitable, and I knew that both our parents had been asking us about it.

When I heard him say it my heart skipped a beat. "You want me to come home with you for thanksgiving? really?," I stuttered as I turned to face him.

"I really do. I want my parents to meet you. I want them to meet the woman that makes me smile everyday and every night," he said with a little naughty smile. "Well, they don't need to know about the every night part."

"I really do want to meet your parents. But I have to tell you, I am scared to death of meeting them. What if they hate me?"

"A. They know how much I love you, they could never hate you," he said and leaned in and kissed me.

The next thing I knew the popcorn bowl was on the floor and he was over me unbuttoning my shirt with one hand. I had just gotten his shirt off and was reaching for his belt, when his cell phone rang. He swore, and then said he had to get it since it was probably his parents calling to confirm plans for Thanksgiving. I let go of him and let him sit up, but not without giving him a pouty look.

He confirmed plans with his parents, who were apparently thrilled that they would get to meet me, and I had to call and let my parents know I wouldn't be home for Thanksgiving. They made me promise to try and bring him home for Christmas to meet them.

We made plans to leave the next day to his parents house, since the drive was an 8 hour one we wanted to get a head start. I packed the nicest things I could find. I wanted to make a good impression on his parents.

The ride to his parents house was great. We stopped for coffee on our way out of town and picked up some caffeine for the ride. It is amazing how we spend every single day together and still did not have a quiet moment for the whole 8 hours.

As he pulled into the drive way I saw there were at least four cars already there. He must have seen the look of panic in my eyes because he reached for my hand and said, "one is my dad's truck, one is my mom's car, and the other two are my sisters. Honey, you are going to make them fall in love with you."

He turned the car off, walked around and opened my door for me. As he was reaching into the backseat for our bags I saw his mom coming out to greet us. She ran up and hugged her little boy and then turned to me with a huge smile on her face.

"Mom, I would like you to meet A." I reached my hand out to her, but she grabbed me and pulled me into a hug.

"I am so happy to meet you!", she said as she hugged me.

We all headed into the house and the rest of the introductions were made. Afterwards Aaron led us to where we would be sleeping. I was surprised his parents were willing to have us share a room, and we got the guest room to ourselves.

The next day we woke up and got ready and headed downstairs to help out his parents with starting the preparations for dinner. What Aaron had neglected to tell me was that his entire family would be there that night. They were expecting about 15 people over.

The evening could not have gone any better. I was getting along with everyone and everyone was being so wonderful to me. They were hilarious and so easy to get along with. Just as I thought the night could not get any better Aaron's older sister, Bree, pulled me aside.

"I just wanted to tell you A. that you make my brother so happy, and just from these last two days I can see why. Also, just a heads up...we are initiating you into the family tomorrow and taking you shopping."

I was so touched by what she said and even more touched by the invitation to go shopping. Aaron had explained to me that it was a tradition for his mom and two sisters to do the day after thanksgiving shopping ever year. He had also mentioned that no one else had ever been invited to go with them. So, I knew this was a big deal and I was super excited.

Shopping the next day was a blast! We got such great deals and I was able to get some help and pick out some really great stuff for Aaron's Christmas presents. We all had lunch and then I was forced to tell them how we met and about our first date and all about London. After every story there would be a collective, "awww." As we were driving back to their home I felt so at home with them.

We left the next day early and headed back to the city. I told him how much fun I had with his family and how at home I felt. I also warned him and Christmas he would be coming home with him!!!

A little note

Hey everyone,

I tried to post a couple entries over the weekend and this morning. Now I am off to my cabin for the next two days and will be back Wednesday. Expect a double post then. Just wanted to give everyone a heads up as to why no post for tomorrow.

Thanks so much again for reading.

Love,
A.

Getting over it

The first couple weeks of classes went by pretty uneventful. There was lots of reading, lots of time to catch up with friends, and time to start looking for a legal job. The weekends had also allowed Aaron and I spend lots of quality time together.

It was a Sunday evening and we were doing what had become routine. Since we both had class together Monday morning he would usually spend Sunday night at my place. We would make dinner and then either put a movie in or play board games. We had just finished cleaning up from dinner and were sitting on the living room floor setting up monopoly when there was a knock on my door. I wasn't expecting anyone so I was a little surprised. As I finished setting the game up, Aaron got up and got the door. It was Meg.

He walked back into the living room and just as I was about to ask him who it was I saw her. He muttered something about having to do some reading for tomorrow and went into my bedroom. I sat there looking up at her not really knowing what to say.

"Hey," was what she managed to get out while looking at me.

"Hey," I said as I got off the floor and walked towards her. I motioned for her to have a seat and asked her if she wanted anything to drink. As I was walking towards the kitchen I realized how awkward this was. This was Meg, she usually barged in and helped herself to anything she wanted. I've never had to treat her like a guest in my home until now.

I walked back into the living room with a drink in my hand and handed it over to her. I sat across from her as we both sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity. Finally I had to break the silence, "So am I really going to have to do a little dance to entertain you or will you stop acting like a guest and start acting like my best friend?"

She laughed and I could see tears start running down her face. "A. I'm so sorry," she said as she sat next to me and gave me a hug. "I don't know what got into me. The truth was I was jealous. When it comes to guys things come so easily to you. You can captivate their attention and I am left sitting in the corner waiting for someone to notice me. I guess I wanted him to notice me and not you. " I tried to say something, but she asked me to please let her finish. "I know you would never do anything to hurt me. I know that you're not a mind reader and that I never told you I was interested in him. I know that saying 'I think he's cute' does not mean I was going for him. I know how wrong of me it was to tell J. about everything. But the thing I know the most is that I acting like a crazy bitch and I hurt my best friend. I understand if we can't get back to how we were, but I can't bear to loose you as a friend."

After hearing her pour everything out to me, I knew that I did not want to loose her friendship either. We had been friends since college. We had been through so much together. And the one thing about me that perhaps isn't the best quality to have is that I hate to believe that people are not good. It takes a lot for me to give up on someone. I was not going to give up on her.

Riding it out

My summer was coming to an end and classes were starting next week. Ever since the incident with Meg I have been a little leery as to how my other friends are going to take everything. Between Meg, J., and I we have all our friends in common. I was afraid people would start taking sides in something that there was no need to take sides in.

After about a couple weeks of mopping around my apartment, I decided it was time to get out and hang out with some of my other friends. I decided to give Emma a call. Emma, Megan and I were usually inseparable. I gave her a call and we decided to go buy our books and meet up for lunch as well. It was so nice to sit and chat with her. She already knew what had happened between Meg and I, and I was hoping she could give me a little insight into a situation that had completely blindsided me.

We went to our favorite sushi bar after we had made a stop at school to buy our books for our first semester of our second year. Once we had our drinks in front of us I decided it was time to bring up the subject. I was a little worried as to how to bring it up, and thank God she made it easy for me.

"Ok A.," she said. "I know what happened and I know its killing you. I'm here for you if you need to talk. I just need you to know that."

I was so relieved to hear her say that, and I took that as an okay for me to talk to her about it. "Emm, I have no idea what happened. I didn't know she felt anything for him or was even interested. You know I would never do anything that would hurt her."

"Oh, sweetie of course I know that. What you need to understand is that Meg for some reason got it into her head that it wasn't fair for you to have J. at home and then Aaron in London. I tried to tell her you and J. had broken up. I told her J. was not good for you and that it was good for you to move on. She never even mentioned anything to me about her interest in Aaron."

I had no idea what to think anymore. Meg knew that J. and I had broken up and now I learn that she never even mentioned her interest in Aaron to Emma. I was beyond confused. All I knew was that I needed to give her time and hope that things would eventually calm down and we could talk. I missed her and I knew all I could do was wait.

After lunch Emma and I decided to do a little shopping. It was so great to hear all about her summer and her many boys. There were always lots of guys when it came to Emma.

The next week flew by with spending time with Aaron and classes starting I had no time to dwell on the argument between Meg and I. The third day of classes I finally had a class with her. That day had started out bad, with me spilling coffee all over myself, and had only gotten worse after having her ignore me every time she saw me. I was ready to go home and collapse and forget about the day.

While I was getting my stuff ready to head home I felt Aaron's arms wrap themselves around me. I turned around and wrapped my arms around him.

"I had such a horrible day," I said to him, while I stood on my tip toes and gave him a kiss.

"Well let me take you home and we could celebrate today," he said as he wrapped his arms a little tighter around me.

"Celebrate?", I asked. As I asked I realized that today was our two month anniversary and I smiled. I had forgotten that I had a gift for him in my car. From the look on my face he knew I finally knew what he was talking about.

We headed over to his place, but not before stopping at my place to grab an overnight bag for me. When we got to his place he told me to lay on the couch and watch some TV while he made dinner. Half way through the movie I had put in, I could start to smell the food he was working on. I wandered into the kitchen and he literally pushed right back out. Half an hour later I was being called into his kitchen.

He had the table all set up and had candles on the table. He pulled my chair out and helped me settle in. He poured a glass of wine for me and brought the tray with the food over to the table too. On it was my two favorite foods. Steak and shrimp scampi. I was touched that he always seems to remember my favorites. After dinner we took the bottle of wine and headed to the living room. I sat in his arms we drank our wine.

We eventually headed to his bedroom. We were laying in bed after making love when he suddenly said, "I need to give you a space for you to leave things here."

"Really?," I said and turned my head to face his.

"Yeah, it would make it easier. Besides it would make me smile to see little things that remind me of you around the apartment."

I smiled bigger then I've ever smiled before. I know its only been two months, and it may seem like we are moving way to fast. But everything has always felt so right between us.

Fessing Up

The phone rang and rang. Meg never picked up so I left a voicemail telling her I was back in the States and to please call me back. I stared at my phone forever, willing it to ring. I did not want to believe J. that Meg would do something like that. She is my best friend and she knew I did not want to deal with J. right now when it came to Aaron.

I knew that I could do nothing for the moment so I decided to do a little unpacking and take a nice long bath. After I got out of the bath, still no call from Meg. I was getting antsy and I wanted to know her side of things. I was a little reluctant to believe J. I tried everything to keep myself busy and eventually I fell asleep reading in bed.

The next morning I checked my phone for any missed calls, and realized I had none. I decided to give Meg a call and see if she was around this time. Once again, the phone just rang and rang and voicemail picked up. I had two more days of leaving voicemails. I had given up all hope and was on my way out to meet Aaron for dinner when there was a knock on my door. It was Meg.

After I let her in, I excused myself and called Aaron to let him know I would be awhile. I had explained to him what had been going on so he understood. I left Meg in the living room. When I walked back in she had a picture frame in her hand.

She held it up to me and said, "Isn't it too soon to be plastering your apartment with pictures of you and Aaron?"

I didn't know what to say. I had no idea why she was so hostile all of a sudden. I grabbed the picture from her and told her that it wasn't too soon. We had been dating for a month. She rolled her eyes at me and reminded me that it was a month in London, not in reality time.

"Meg," I asked. "What exactly is going on here? The last time I talked to you, you were happy and encouraging about Aaron and I. The next thing I know J. knows about it and its from you. And now this!"

She didn't say anything. She just stared at me. Since she wasn't talking I took it upon myself to fill that void. "You have been my best friend for years and we have always been honest with each other. We have always talked everything out. If you don't tell me what is going on I can't do anything to fix it."

"You can't fix it!!" she yelled at me. The look in her eyes actually scared me. "You always have to have your way. If you see it and you want it, you have to get it."

"Meg, what are you talking about?", I was beyond lost at this point.

"Aaron!", she yelled. "In London I told you I thought he was cute. And the next day you are going out to dinner with him. Then we couldn't separate you two if we tried. Now you think you can continue your fairy tale back home. "

I could not believe what I was hearing. This is about a guy. A guy that apparently she wanted and I had now. "First of all, when we were in London you said you thought he was cute. That's all. You also said that about four other guys on the program. You spent all your time with The Guy. How the hell was I suppose to know that you wanted Aaron. Or that you were interested in him. I didn't try to take anything from you. From the very first time I went to dinner with him you encouraged me. You told me how right we seemed for each other. When we went to Paris you told me to slept with The Guy. You two were together most of the trip too. I would never let a guy come between us. If I knew you were interested I would have backed away. You are my best friend and you would come first."

I was beyond mortified at the conversation. My best friend would not act like this.

"Fine", she yelled back as she started to turn towards the door. "You have him. And you two are perfect. And you're perfect. And yes I told J. Why should you have everything be perfect in your life. Learn to deal with a little drama," she said as she walked out and slammed the door behind her.

I stood there staring at the spot where my best friend had just been. Staring at the spot where she had changed before my eyes. I felt the tears run down my face and I did the only thing I could think of. I called Aaron and told him what had happened. He told me to just stay there and he would be right over.

A little note to everyone

Hey everyone,

I'm sorry I've had no chance to post. My parents were in town and we have been busy showing them around and keeping them occupied, then we have a wedding to go to tomorrow. Things just got hectic all of a sudden. I will most definitely have a double or maybe triple post for everyone on Sunday.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend and see you all on Sunday.

Again, thanks million times for all comments.


Love,
A.

A Surprise Visitor

I heard a knock on the door. "Who could it possibly be? I literally just got home," I said to myself. I heard the knock again. Whoever it was they were being very impatient. I reached the door and looked through the peephole. I could not believe who was standing on the other side.

I opened the door and there stood J. I stared at him in disbelieve as to what the hell he was doing here. He had moved erything out before I came home and had left the key in the apartment office for me.

"J. what are you doing here?" I was about to ask, but he beat me to it.

"Where were you? You were suppose to come home three days ago!!" he yelled at me.

"Well hello to you too, and yes I did have a good flight thanks for asking and no I don't mind you just barging in like this," I said to him my voice dripped with sarcasm and big smile on my face.

"A! I'm serious, where the hell were you?"

"J. I stayed a couple extra days and went up to Nottingham. But since when do I have to check in with you?" I asked as I could feel the anger start to bubble up.

Who did he think he was. He was my friend yes. But he had no right to barge in like this and yell at me asking me where I was. He started pacing back and forth in the hallway of my apartment. I was in no mood to invite him in. I had jet lag and all I wanted was my big bed with my big comforter to sink into. I could not believe he was actually standing here lecturing me.

"A. You should have told me. I was worried. I'm just happy you're home", he said as he walked into my living room. "So TV and dinner?" he asked as he plopped himself onto the couch.

"No!", I said to him. "You can go home and do TV and dinner. I need to get some sleep. And just so you know, I do not have to check in with you. I don't have to tell you when I am coming and going. I am an adult J. Thank you for the concern, but you don't need to come here and lecture me."

"You obviously are expecting Aaron over if you want me to leave," he said with a smirk on his face.

How the hell did he know about Aaron. We never actually talked about him. I didn't find it appropriate to be talking to him about Aaron since we had just broken up technically. He must have seen the look of confusion on my face.

"Meg told me you would probably be coming home with him."

I was furious that Meg would take the time to call him or see him or have any reason to have to talk to J. She knew I had not told J. anything yet, that I wanted to but I would when the time was right. Now here I was forced to talk to him about it when I was not ready. I had been awake for a full 24 hours, the last thing I wanted to deal with was this.

"J. I will talk to you tomorrow or the next day. Once I get caught up on sleep and once I talk to Meg. Right now you need to leave," I said and walked towards the door holding it open for him.

He stood up and walked towards me. As he was walking out he actually had the nerve to try to kiss me goodbye. I turned my head as he leaned in and took a step back. "J. No. You need to leave."

He left and I was left there fuming. I walked towards my bag and dug my cellphone out. I turned it on, dialed the number and waited.

Saying goodbye or not

It has been one amazing month! I have met so many people and made friends that will stay with me forever. I have experienced things that I never thought I would. The most amazing thing that I will take with me is the fact that I allowed myself to fall in love. I can't imagine this trip without Aaron. We've had so much fun together that we were not ready to leave.

Because we were not ready to leave yet and face our lives back in the states yet, we decided to extend our trip by three days. We booked a train north to Nottingham and reserved a room in a tiny hotel in the area.

We were all packed and ready to go. Everyone had cleaned out their rooms and the hallway was filled with suitcases.

I walked into Megs room to see if she needed any help. As I helped her clean out her room we sat and just chatted.

"You really do like him don't you A.?" she asked me.

"Oh Meg, I fell hard for him. I don't even know where it came from. Go figure, me Ms. uber guarded would finally just fall," I said to her with a smile.

"I'm happy for you I really am. When we you guys get back to the states and we are all over the jet lag we should all get together."

"I would love that. You know that it means a lot to me that you like him. You're my best friend and if you didn't like him it would be torture," I said to her, hoping she would respond that she did like him.

"A., he makes you smile. Besides he takes away some of your anal retentive tendencies, "she said while sticking her tongue out at me.

I helped her pack up what was left of her room and headed back to mine to drag my suitcase out. When we were all ready we all said our goodbyes. Some of these people I would see back home, and some were going home to different states. Most of us shared a couple cabs to the train station.

Aaron and I took a train up to Nottingham, and the rest of the group continued on to the airport. The train ride was a good time to just sit and relax. We got lucky and had no one in our compartment. I pulled out a book and he pulled out a magazine. We sat there quietly reading. He had one arm around me and the other hand on his magazine. It feels right when you can sit with the person in total silence and not feel the need to fill that silence.

When we finally arrived we had to find our hotel. I thought we were staying in a hotel or hostel type of place, but since I had not been the one that booked it I really had no idea what we were looking for.

Nottingham is known as Robin Hood country and is known for the history it possess. Once we finally did make it to where we would be staying I was speechless. It was a cabin right on a lake. It was a resort type location and with individual log cabins that could be rented out. Aaron must have seen my jaw hit the floor because he started to laugh.

"So I guess I should explain all this huh?" he said with a little chuckle. "See, I figured that tomorrow is the one month anniversary of our first date...and I figured it would be nice to spend it in an extra special way."

He seemed so nervous to be explaining everything I couldn't help but giggle. I set my bag down and threw my arms around his neck. "Aaron, you are amazing. I love this!!", I said and gave him a big kiss.

We finally went inside and I could not believe my eyes. There was a huge fireplace with a brown overstuffed couch in front of it. We had a little kitchen to the right and a door that led to the bedroom and one to the bathroom on the left. I was like a kid. I ran into the kitchen and opened up every drawer, fridge, and even the oven. I then made my way to the bedroom and saw a huge bed and another fireplace in the bedroom. The bathroom had a huge bathtub, actually a hot tub but I did not realize it at the time.

He was finally able to get me out of the cabin and we headed out to check out Nottingham Castle. On our walk there we stopped at a little pub and had lunch. We took a cave tour and looked around in the museum. We made our way back to the cabin. On our way back we stopped and picked up stuff to cook for dinner and to have for breakfast the next morning.

We spent the rest of that day and the entire next day in the cabin. Well, I'm not going to lie, we spent the entire time in bed, on the couch, and even the floor..hehe. I can't complain. I had a gorgeous man and I kept him pretty much naked for a whole day and half..hehe.

We unfortunately had to pack up and take a train back to London to catch our flight. Our flight was horrible. 24 hours on a plane and in airports. By the time we had made it back to the States we had been awake for a full 24 hours. Once back, we had to say good bye to each other. We shared a cab and I went home and he want to his apartment. We made plans to see each other tomorrow.

I walked into my apartment and just dropped all bags. I was not looking forward to spending the night alone. I was about to finally accept that fact, when I heard a knock on the door.

Computer going crazy

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to let everyone know that my computer has been acting a little funny between last night and today. I tried to post this one early in case my computer decided to die on me. In case you don't hear from me tomorrow, assume that my computer died. I am hoping to have a new one in a day or so. I will try to post tomorrow from a different computer, but just in case I wanted to give everyone a head's up.

Thanks again for everyone that has left comments. I appreciate every single one!

Hopefully within three or four posts I can catch everyone up on what's happened since I left London.

Love,
A.

Explanations

Since the time had come for me to slowly start packing everything up, the time had also come to figure out everything back home. Mainly this meant dealing with the ex-bf.

Let me explain things to everyone first, provide some background if you will on this whole situation. J. (the ex-bf) and I had been best friends since I was about 16 years old. I met him where I had my very first job and he dated one of my friends. We were inseparable all through high school. When it came time for college we ended up at the same school. Our first two years we both lived on campus. He lived a floor below me. Needless to say, we were still inseparable.

Once our Junior year hit and we were able to live off-campus and decided to live together. We rented one of the many crappy houses that surrounded the campus. Our last two years of college were a blast. It was great living with him. He dated and I dated. But never each other.

After college I had law school next. We moved out of the crappy house and into a nicer apartment together. It had worked out so well for us, we figured it would keep working. We were good roommates. Half-way through my first year of law school, something happened between us. We were just laying around watching TV when he asked me out of the blue, "why have we never dated?"

I thought he was joking, so I threw a pillow at him and told him it was because he smelled.

He wasn't joking. After a long conversation we decided to give it a try. In the back of my mind, I knew why we never dated. He was not a one girl type of guy, and I was not into casual dating. But we decided to give a try. The first couple months were great. I was dating my best friend. The problem was, he never made that transition from best friend to boyfriend. He kept treating me the same.

Right before I came to London we had a long heart-to-heart. Things weren't working out. We would never not be best friends. Maybe some time apart would make things better. I knew it wouldn't. Right after I left to London, he went back to his old self. Lots of girls and me the best friend. That is why I got the email telling me it wasn't working.

The reason I was so ok with everything was because I knew it wasn't meant to be. We stilled emailed the entire time I was in London, but it was as best friends. Over the last two weeks we had decided that maybe it was time we both lived alone. We wanted to maintain our friendship and we figured the best way to do that is to not be living together anymore.

So, J. moved out and found a place nearby. It will be weird going home to the apartment knowing it is all mine, but I think it's the best thing right now. I have never lived alone, and I am excited about it. I can decorate how I want and walk around naked if I want...haha. It's a new chapter in my life and I am ready for it to start.

The Calm after the Storm

It has a been a couple days since the tube bombings, and we had to get back to normal. We had our final project and it went great. Aaron delivered our closing statement beautifully. As he was standing up there in his suit with a look of utter business on his face, I could not help but think to myself "that man up there is mine!" As I said this i must have had a huge smile on my face, because his eyes met mine and I could swear that I saw him blushing.

Since the bombings the classes had been held in a building on the campus where our flats were. We had not been on the tube since that day. While some stations were closed, a lot had re-opened.

We had all decided that it was time to venture into the tube once again. Just the idea of going on it again sent sheer panic through my veins. I was not ready to face that again, but I knew that I had to. We had made reservations at a medieval banquet and were pumped to go. When the time came, we ventured out towards the tube station near our flat.

We walked down the steps. The steps we had walked up and down hundreds of times. We neared the first corner and swiped our cards. I could feel my palms begin to sweat. I was about to turn to Aaron who was holding my hand and tell him I was not ready, but he beat me to it. He looked down at me and whispered, "you're okay, I'm here."

I took a deep breath gave his hand a squeeze and continued. We made it onto the cart. A cart that would be usually bustling with people going in and out. A cart that was eerily empty. There were some people on it and everyone seemed to be extra vigilant.

I remember seeing a man with a backpack. He reached into it. All eyes were on him. He pulled out a bottled water. There was a collective sigh of relief.

We finally made it out of the tube and onto our desired destination. I had made it.

We reached the restaurant and enjoyed the rest of our evening. It was full of laughter, wine, and beer. We were all relaxing and enjoying our last couple days in London.

After a great dinner a many too many drinks we made our trek back to the flat. The ride going home was not as hard as the one before.

Once back at the flat Aaron and I headed back to my room. This had become a habit. We slept in his room or mine. But had not slept apart in almost a month. With a couple days left in London the reality of our situation began to set in. What would happen once we left the world we had developed here? Would we survive once we got back to the states?

We laid in bed and talked for hours that night. We did not know what the future had in store for us, but we did know that we wanted to try to make it work back home. We actually only lived about 5 minutes apart and would be sharing lots of classes once we got back. Would the live we had created here make it across the ocean?

I fell asleep after making love and knew that what would happen was what was meant to happen. All we could do for now is enjoy what we had.

Day and Night Part II

We started to walk. We had to walk in groups of three or four as to not look too much like tourists. Aaron, Meg, and I decided to walk together. We knew it would take us at least two hours to make the trek back to the flat. As we were walking Aaron kept his arm around me and kept whispering to me that it was okay and that we were okay.

The walk back was surreal. We were walking with hundreds of other people, since both the tube and buses were down. We walked for what seemed forever. As we neared our flat we also neared one of the major hospitals in London. Outside the hospital was a growing crowd looking at the lists posted on makeshift tents trying to find the names of their loved ones, along with people being brough in on stretchers. I remember feeling a tear run down my face and feeling Aaron's grip on me tighten.

We finally made it back to the flat and it was not until here that we realized how close we had been today. The train that had the bomb was the one we were suppose to be on. It was the one we took everyday. Today, we had gotten lucky and caught the one 5 minutes early

Once we all had made it back to the flat our program directors wanted to have us all together in case we wanted to talk about anything. And what do people do in the face of a tragedy? They feed you. So that is what they did. They got Chinese food for all us and we sat outside on picnic tables. It was nice to see everyone there and it was what we all needed.

After dinner I headed back to my room. I had not let it hit me at all yet. I was trying to be so strong, yet at the same time I was scared and I wanted to go home back to the States. I heard a knock on my door around 10 o'clock that night. It was Aaron. I was so happy to see him. He walked into my room and closed the door behind him.

"Are you okay A.?" he asked.

I didn't answer. I looked up at him and tears started to fall from my eyes. I remember feeling the breeze coming in from my window. I remember feeling it on my skin.

He walked towards me and put his arms around me. I think I cried into his arms for several minutes. I was so thankful to have found somebody to have during a time like this. I finally allowed myself to feel scared and to let it out. I sobbed that I wanted to go home and he just stroked my hair.

He stayed with me that night and just held me. I felt safe in his arms. I felt that I was okay and that nothing could hurt me if I was in his arms.